I Read it Twice


I absolutely loved this book! I read it twice. I loved all the twists and turns. It was very good reading and suitable for all ages, if I remember correctly. I can’t wait for the next book. Please tell Robert to keep up the good work!

-So Cal Flybaby

I thoroughly enjoyed this book; hated for it to end and can’t wait for the next book. Thanks for a great read!

-Dee Koetter Williams

I must say this book was a blast to read , gives you a chance to get so involved in the story line . Mystery ,drama, laughter ,and with a hint of romance . I found myself trying to figure out what was going to happen next when I put the book down .And with astonishment, I was wrong every time. Which is why this Book is so much fun to read.


Do you have a Could You But Find It review or story? We would love to read it! Send it to us at FlyLady@FlyLady.net with “Could You But Find It” in the subject line. Your review could be the next one featured!

Posted in testimonials Tagged , ,

Saved My Work Outfit

  Dear FlyLady,

You had me FLYing as a single mother of 2 boys in 2001 and beyond, then I forgot about you for a while, and it showed! Well I am back on track, remarried and now have a total of 4 boys! This makes for hectic and crazy mornings trying to get out the door for school and work. Often, in my rush, I somehow get big white paths of deodorant on my dark colored work suits and blouses. This is always cause for having to change, as attempts to get the deodorant off of my clothes always results in an even bigger mess!!!

When I was a FLYbaby in 2001 I never had the money to order anything off your site and I didn’t need to – you generously provided all the instructions, directions, and necessary paperwork for me to make my own control journal and you gave me ideas for ways to clean with what I had. Well, now that I have a two income household I decided to “splurge” (LOL!) and get some things from the FLYshop. I ordered the purple rags as well as a few other items. I had read so many glowing testimonials about these rags that at first, I was upset because I thought you had forgotten to include them in my order. I saw a purple mesh bag that I knew was to wash the rags in, but WHERE WERE THE RAGS?? It turns out, the mesh bag is a super light lavender (almost white) color and the PURPLE I was seeing were the rags! They were so pretty and shiny I just knew those couldn’t be them – that had to be part of the bag! LOL! I hope I’m not the only one this has happened to:)
To make a long story even longer, I got deodorant all over my black cotton ribbed blouse this morning. Soft creamy WHITE deodorant all stuck in each individual rib of the BLACK cotton fabric. A dry purple rag was on my vanity and a light bulb went off. Maybe it would work! I grabbed it, rubbed it on the deodorant stain, and magic! Poof! Gone! Not a TRACE. No residue, no needing to scrub where it had gotten down into the ribs of the fabric.  Just GONE.
So now I get it – the testimonials aren’t just a bunch of lunatics spouting nonsense. These really are magical rags. Thank you for saving me the hassle of having to figure out a new outfit this morning!!
And thank you for ALL you do 🙂


FlyLady here: You just made me laugh out loud! I know people sometimes question the testimonials we send out. I am even amazed at the amount of them we get! They really are not just a bunch of lunatics spouting nonsense LOL! We do so much research into what product is best to help you FLY and we offer all of our service, advice and information for free.

I’m so happy that the purple rag saved you so much time and effort. These really are wonder rags.


Posted in testimonials Tagged , ,

October Habit #28 A Good Way To Start

Dear FlyLady

I found you a couple of months ago and I’ve managed to get my daily and weekly routines in order. I live a very busy life at the moment so I’m struggling to find more time to do the daily missions or decluttering but at least my home won’t get any worse than it is today thanks to my routines. But I have your voice in the back of my head telling me that whenever I do get a few spare minutes I do one mission or some decluttering, slowly improving the look of my home.

Anyway, what I wanted to share with you was that when I read that this month’s habit was paper clutter, I knew exactly what to do. My local supermarket sends out a magazine each month with recipes and other useful information regarding food, and I’ve been collecting these in order to make a recipe scrap book. You guessed it, I haven’t even started on that scrap book and I have magazines dating back to early 2011. I realized that this was clutter taking up so much space in my study room and yesterday I finally threw it in the recycling bin! Such a relief and a good way to start the weekend!

Thank you!
Johanna in Sweden

Please share your Paper Clutter stories, tips and routines with me.

Send them to FlyLady@FlyLady.net with PAPER CLUTTER in the subject line.

Posted in Habit of the Month Tagged , ,

I Felt Drawn To FlyLady

Hi FlyLady,

Today, after wishing once again that I could ‘pause the world – just for a week!’ whilst I caught up with myself and the chaos around me, I decided to actually try and do something about it!I have 3 children, 2 jobs (getting up at 04:00 three times a week for one of the jobs) and 2 dogs . So I have only myself to blame! But now is the time for action!!I scoured the internet and I felt drawn to FlyLady. I loved everything you had to say and the testimonies made me tearful (I also saw a glimmer of hope!)Today I shined my sink and threw away 27 items. I try not to look at the chaos around me just yet. I want to avoid the chest tightening sensation and overwhelming panic I usually experience. Nobody would realize I feel like this. I portray calmness but do not feel it. So I am taking babysteps and I finally feel positive about achieving a less chaotic home.So thank you for being my savior today FlyLady and here’s to tomorrow!

Many grateful hugs



Posted in testimonials Tagged , ,

Don’t Give up, I Didn’t

Dear Friends,FlyLady

This morning has been one God Breeze right after another. Everything that has happened today has connected to this essay about depression and how I found out the importance of taking care of me.

Depression is a sadness that I understand. I know this pain: The pain of feeling so overwhelmed that I didn’t known where to start and then I just sat in a chair for days: The pain of feeling so alone and no one loves you: The pain of being separated by miles from your family and close friends. The pain of having no money for food and never feeling like you can get ahead: The pain of not knowing how I was going to get a flat tire fixed with only 13 cents in the bank. I could go on with this for a very long time. I now know that many of the reasons that I have suffered with these problems is so I can help you. It is never easy to pull yourself out of the pit of despair. It can be done; this takes recognizing that is where you are and wanting to get out of the pit; then it takes specific steps to get help and to help yourself; and it involves taking care of you.

Many times we feel that the earth has just opened up and swallowed us with no way to find our way back to the surface and the sunshine of life. Here is one of the messages I opened this morning.


Dear FlyLady,

This is really not a testimonial but I have been trying to fly now for over a year and the little bit I have done is wonderful but I have hit a brick wall and wanted to know if this is normal? Right after I started flying (which I heard about from the girl who cuts my hair) I became ill. They did all kind of tests and really couldn’t find anything. Now they are saying it is depression and stress. I am a Payroll SHE and not only am trying to keep my house in order but also my office. I am sending you this e-mail because I feel like I am a failure at flying. I know you are saying no one is a failure but I am beginning to think so. My sister-in-law and her mother ( and a few other people I know) started flying two months ago and their house is organized I hate going there because I feel guilty. I cannot even read your testimonials any more because they make me feel like a failure. The Holidays are coming and I’m not looking forward to them at all and it gets worse all the time. Right now my house looks like a tornado went through it and we are living in a pile of clutter.

I know you are always saying to take Baby Steps and I am trying but I feel like I am beyond help. AM I? I guess I am looking for some kind of reassurance.

Drowning In Pennsylvania!


Dear Drowning in Pennsylvania,

I am not a doctor or a psychologist; I am just one of you who has suffered with depression three times in my life and I am living proof that there is light at the end of the tunnel. My first depression came as a result of the death of a step-parent, a bad marriage, and feeling out of control and overwhelmed by every thing that needed to be done during the holidays.  The stress of it all just zaps the energy right out of you. It didn’t happen overnight. I felt myself slipping into this hole for about 6 or 7 months. I just didn’t know what was happening to me the first time I fell into this hole. It took a friend to notice and she got me the help I needed. I am so thankful that I was willing to listen and follow her lead when I was not able to do it on my own. It is my turn to help you by bringing this to your attention and helping you to babystep your way out of this hole. I don’t know why I have been picked to do this; I just know that it has to be done. So here goes. Follow me!!

The first time I was depressed(1990), I was put into a hospital for 10 days. It was a treatment facility for co-dependency and addiction. I didn’t think I had an addiction; boy was I wrong. I was stuffing my feelings with food and feeling more and more depressed by the lack of love in my life. Food was the cocoon that kept me insulated from the real problems. As long as I could stand in front of the refrigerator and stuff my face and cry; I didn’t really have to think about or deal with the fact that my marriage had fallen apart.

I felt like such a failure that I didn’t want to live. That scared me big time. I wanted to be happy and I had no clue how to accomplish this. In my all or nothing thinking; I felt that I could just flip a switch and everything would be better. There is no magic pill or switch that is going to immediately change the way you think. It is a process of recognizing your stinking thinking and replacing those negative thought patterns with constructive actions.

This is what I learned in treatment. I have told this story before and some of you will recognize it; so please stay with me. When I walked through the door of the treatment facility; I looked and felt awful. I had long stringy hair that was oily, I had on sweat pants and a sweat shirt that I hid behind and I had no energy. I roomed with two women that were thin and beautiful. Their assignment was to give me a make-over.

Yea right! Make me look pretty! That was something that was never going to happen. How could I be pretty when I felt so yucky inside? This is the most important lesson that I teach. Now I am crying my eyes out! I had to live this to help you! It was not easy to get into my head, but I didn’t have to understand it for it to have an effect on me.

They had me take a shower and wash my hair; then they had me dress in some of the clothes that I had brought with me. I don’t remember what it was; but I remember that they accessorized me with earrings, a scarf, and tucking my shirt in my pants. We made do with what we had. They let me borrow a few items from their suitcases too. The most amazing part was fixing my hair and face: A little blow drying and curling can work wonders. Then they put a little moisturizer and make-up on me. I have never worn much anyway so they kept it very simple. The result was astounding; to me and the rest of my treatment group.

I felt better about myself and they all said I carried myself differently. I was no longer slouching and frowning; I had my shoulders back and my head lifted high. I felt empowered. This was a very simple act that literally has changed my life and the lives of thousands. I am not saying at this time that I kept doing this every single day; but I had found the tool to help me get out of the slump when I felt myself falling back in the hole. It took me a while to get into the habit of dressing to shoes every day. I feel now that this is one thing that I do daily to insure my mental health.

Right now, if you are feeling yucky in any form or fashion; just puny, PMSing, draggy, pitiful, lonely, angry, tired or anything else: I want you to go hop in the shower and go get dressed to shoes; fix your hair and face too. Then you can come back and finish reading this essay.

As FlyBabies we forget: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!! We forget to take care of ourselves. Even though we take care of everyone else, sometime we forget to do things for ourselves. So ask yourself these questions.

Have I had any water today? I am not talking about liquid either like 3 cups of coffee or soft drinks! If you have not, then go turn up about eight ounces right now: I just did!

Did you eat today: Breakfast, Lunch and a nutritious snack? Have you had any vegetables or fruits today?

Now here is the biggy! Have you gone for a brisk walk outside today? I am not talking about a grueling 7 mile hike; I am just asking for 7 minutes out and 7 minutes back home again. We need sunshine; there are some days in the winter that we just don’t think that the sun is ever going to shine again. Walking three times a week will help to keep depression away. Get out there anyway; even if you have not seen the sun for days! You will feel better if you will just move.  I know you are saying I am too tired to get up and move right now, but just do it for 2 minutes. You will feel energized! Even just a little is more than you were doing. You can do it!

When you get angry do you let it fester inside of you? Women tend to do this. Men on the other hand like to stomp and bluster which makes us uncomfortable because that is not the way we deal with anger. This took some getting used to for me when I married Robert. The only time I ever saw anyone get angry it was usually directed at me. Robert is a very calm collected man and never gets angry or frustrated; unless he is working on a car!!!! Once he had been installing our anniversary present on his little convertible car. He asked me what I wanted for our anniversary and I said a roll bar for your car! He ordered it and he started installing it, but not without a few tossed hammers and screw drivers. This is how he vents.

Imagine that! Expelling anger and frustration and not doing it toward another person. When I was in treatment; they wanted me to beat up a pillow. I still don’t get a release from doing that; I actually was uncomfortable with that action. It was not until my third bout with depression that I found my release valve! In the past, I would go to the refrigerator and eat or because the house was a symptom of some of the problems; I would clean like a banshee; daring anyone to talk to me. I would push myself into exhaustion so I would not have to deal with it; whatever IT was. Oh and I would retreat to my bed and cry for hours and pout! None of this ever did me any good. Here is how I deal with anger now.

I WRITE! I write till it all spills out of me. One sentence at a time and I have released the anger and sometimes I even come up with a solution. I don’t even have to have a solution to see the problem clearly. I just start writing and somehow it all falls into place. I never know where I am going; I guess it is like throwing that hammer or beating that pillow; it has no rhyme or reason it just feels good to do it. Then I get into a tub of warm water to hug myself!

Another thing I learned in treatment was to slow down my mind and meditate. This was a way to relieve stress. They put on some calming sounds and darkened the room. Do you remember kindergarten when we had to take a nap! Imagine a room full of 40 adults on mats with their eyes closed, listening to sounds of ocean waves. We took ourselves on a trip to the beach or to a park. We could walk away from our troubles just by closing our eyes and going someplace else in our minds. You can do this too.

Try it now; just sitting in your chair. Close your eyes and think of a stream with water trickling over the rocks and down a small waterfall. What else do you see??? Then feel your body relax as the water takes your troubles downstream. OK, Do this now! This is another tool that I use quite often to help me relax and relieve stress. Just concentrate on slowing your breathing down and taking deep breaths. Feel your muscle tension leave with each breath exhaled.

So you have read this and you don’t have this problem it is just the bunch of inconsiderate slobs you live with! The house is a mess and you have 20 people coming on this weekend and you have no idea where to begin to get the house ready for a party. You are sitting here paralyzed because of your perfectionism. You want it all clean at once! Well sister it ain’t gonna happen in this lifetime! You have to deal with your anger toward your family and the martyrdom you are feeling and get up on your feet and go shine your sink. You have to do it for you or you will be headed down that dark lonely path into despair.

After all we each deserve to live in a home that hugs us. If you are feeling bad because yours makes you want to run and hide; then it is time to get up and do something about it instead of blaming others and whining. It all starts with you! You can’t change anyone else, all you can do is change the way you react to them.

Depression comes at you from all sides; you can’t give in to it. Recognizing it is the first babystep out of the pit! We have the tools if you will just pick them up and use them. You are not alone. We are all one big cyber-family! Now take your first babystep!

I love you all, this is the hardest thing I have ever written. I want for you what I have; Peace. This peace came from establishing simple routines to maintain my mental health.

Are you ready to join me?


Please see your doctor too. I did need medication for a while. Don’t allow your perfectionism to stand in the way of getting well.

favoritepackWe have a new package in our FlyShop! FlyLady’s Favorites Pack

Purple Rag are on BOGO too!

Free Shipping on orders over $50 ends on October 31 at Midnight EDT.

Posted in Morning Musing Tagged , ,

Who Knew It Could Be This Fun

   Dear FlyLady,

This item it just so awesome! I never knew???? As a child, my mother would make us dust and or hand wash every surface and knick knack (which were in extreme abundance) twice a month on Saturday morning before we could watch cartoons or play. I HATED DUSTING!!! Upon moving out, I avoided it as much as possible. Then I turned to my dusting wand on my vacuum. Didn’t work too well, but I WAS dusting. LOL

When I started getting your email, I was reading your website and hearing all the wonderful comments about the dusters. Then, when I signed up for a local meeting we had in March, I didn’t want to be the only one without one, so I ordered one. It came yesterday! I was bushed after working all day, but I wanted to give this NEW thing a try, thinking it would prove what I always suspected, DUSTING IS WORK!

Well, you have definitely proved me wrong! I got soooooo excited I called my mother in Nebraska, I live in Illinois. She just laughed! She doesn’t understand, but I plan to buy these for Christmas presents! I dusted my whole house, closets, ceilings, air returns, behind the washer and dryer, the furnace room, EVERYWHERE!!! I had to shake it out 22 times!!!!! The house smells so much fresher! My allergies are very bad today, due to all of my vigorous dusting, but I know that will improve greatly now.

I just had to write and thank you! At 45 I have found, you CAN teach a not-so-old dog a new trick!

Flying on now,

FlyBaby C.


FlyLady Here: We have a brand new feather duster. It has a telescoping handle to reach those high places.

It is all about making something fun. Whatever duster you use your attitude has to change with it. Dusting can be fun if you think it is. Our dusters are made of ostrich feathers if you buy one someplace else make sure it says ostrich on it. Nothing works better.

Continue to take those babysteps. I don’t want you crashing and burning from dusting all night even if it is fun. Feather dusting my whole house takes 2 minutes.


Posted in testimonials Tagged , ,

I Am Ashamed of My Vehicle

Dear FlyLady,
I have had great success decluttering our home. However, I still can’t seem to gain control over my car. Clutter is always falling out. Please give me some motivation to get my car clean and keep it that way.

Ashamed of my Vehicle!


Dear Ashamed,

You don’t have to feel ashamed another day. We have a basic weekly plan to help you establish a day to clean out your car. Here is an essay I wrote to help us tackle this final frontier:

The Final Frontier

UFOs are Un-tethered Flying Objects in your car! Yes, you know the ones I am talking about! Our cars are usually the last frontier when it comes to getting organized. When I was a small child, I was hurt by a bottle in our car. I still have the scar to show for it. Think of it this way: when you are riding in a car going 55 mph if you have to stop abruptly everything in the car becomes a missile. Think about being hit by a baseball or a bottle that was thrown at that speed.

Here is the worst thing about UFOs in your car! You are embarrassed for anyone to ride with you. I know because I am just like you! My car has been clear of clutter on the inside for almost two years. There is no telling how many accidents have occurred because a bottle rolled out from under the seat. Then it got under our foot or brake and we reached down to get it.
So how do we stop from cluttering up our cars? We have to establish simple habits that will keep the clutter eliminated.

1. Don’t eat in your car. If you do, then bag up the trash as soon as everyone is finished. The bag the fast food came in is a great bag to hold the trash. When you get out of the car, find a trash can.

2. Every time you get home, empty the car of the things you put in it before you left. Not only will this keep your family safe from UFOs, but it will deter thieves. When there is nothing in the car, there is no temptation to break a window. My purse was stolen from my car once when I went into a funeral home to pay my respects.

3. While you are filling your car up with gas, play a game with the children to pick up the trash in your car. Then throw it away. They can hand it to you through the car window after you have filled up.

4. Keep things in your trunk, confined in zippered bags or under a cargo net in your van or SUV.

5. Establish a day for blessing your car. Fill it up, Clean it out and Shine it up! We do it on Fridays.

Don’t put your family’s safety in jeopardy because you don’t think you have time. Think of it as Swish and Swipe for your car. Daily maintenance takes less time than a whole day clean up to get ready to go somewhere with strangers in your car. Be sure and keep UFOs contained in the trunk or glove box.



Posted in Ask FlyLady Tagged , ,

Importance of Checking Your Calendar

2017 calendarDear FlyLady,

Your reminder about needing to check our calendars hit home with me today. Last month I was really working the FlySystem – using my control journal, decluttering a bit, obeying the email messages and I was feeling good about my progress – Slow but Steady.

Then last week I got buried. I agreed to edit a friend’s dissertation, and it was just a LOT more work than I had planned on. So a lot of stuff went by the wayside. I still did some and felt I was keeping my head above water.

Then Friday my friend called, and the person at our university who reviews dissertations had TONS of formatting problems with it. I went into panic mode and hyperfocused (something I think we SHEs are really good at) – sending it fixed to her at midnight, then packing in a rush so we could leave at 6 the next morning to help move my sister to Phoenix.

Saturday night – after an exhausting day – I laid in the hotel bed and realized — I hadn’t checked my calendar on Friday and so I had forgotten to take dinner in that night to a lady at church who just had TWINS. Horrible guilt – and there was absolutely NOTHING I could do about it on Saturday night in Phoenix.

So I jumped in TODAY, right where I am, and decided – even with crazy
dissertation fixes or 110 degree temperatures or a sick kid or cat – I HAVE to do my AM routine COMPLETELY before getting sidetracked. FlyLady is always right.

Many thanks for all of your encouragement and suggestions!

FlyBaby Z in Las Vegas


FlyLady here:  We live busy lives..and when we are trying to balance everything it is so easy to forget something. This is where the wonderful  FlyLady Calendar comes into play. It will help you stay focused and not forget those well intended commitments. 


Posted in testimonials Tagged , ,

Hidden Treasures 5 Star Reviews

By Charletta L

Everyone can benefit from this book. Gives one a purpose. Even if you are organized there is still much to learn.

The Best Book Ever

By stiggy

I read this book cover to cover in a few hours, I couldn’t put it down…It really is a must for anyone that is disorganized and needs a hand to get moving…It makes more sense out of sink reflections, somehow pulling it all together……Elaine UK

By Melanie G.

This lovely creation opened my eyes. Though difficult to read of tough times in family living, what great results from effort and changes. Would read it again.


Posted in testimonials Tagged , ,

Bad Divorce Put me on a Path of Peace

Dear Pam,

I’m recovering from a horrible divorce and my guilt level was through the roof, because I blamed myself for the domestic state of our affairs.  My housekeeping slipped the more we fought and the clutter exacerbated the incompatibility in our marriage.  But once he was out (six months now) I began to feel relief because there wasn’t his cruel judgment hanging over me.  Unfortunately, I couldn’t stop judging myself with thoughts that it was my entire fault that the marriage broke up.

One night, in desperation, I prayed for peace and the next day your book found it’s way into my hands.  I’ve heard of books changing one’s life, but until I read The Joy of Being Disorganized, I hadn’t experienced it firsthand.

See a member of my book club suggested we read your book. There are eleven of us and we rarely read “how to” books, but the subject of disorganization comes up regularly, so your book was suggested and accepted!

We enjoyed it immensely and I’ve teamed up with three of the members on a de-cluttering mission we have agreed to take for one year.  We are so dedicated, because you explained in such simple and loving terms, how clutter is the great destroyer of peace!

Pam, the guilt is gone and the material stuff of my past is gradually being ousted from my home.  I have such a feeling of a fresh, free start and at 46 I know good awaits me on my new path to being organized just enough to please me! Thank you!

Much love,
Sarah in S F


Pam here: Like Sarah, I divorced a very judgmental man and I went through the “what if,” nonsense. What if I’d lost ten pounds? What if I’d cooked better? What if I were more understanding? What if I were organized wasn’t one of the “what ifs,” because getting organized was what put him over the edge.

My sister and I got organized in 1977 and we wrote Sidetracked Home Executives: from pigpen to paradise telling how we did it. All “getting organized” did to him was turn up the heat on his judgment. Now, if I could have read The Joy of Being Disorganized, back in 1978, I would have spared myself the guilt I carried for several years. Guilt from feeling I wasn’t good enough.

I truly believe that clutter (stuff that no longer brings you joy) is the number one destroyer of peace in a home. When Sarah wrote about the “material stuff” of her past, it occurred to me how the material stuff that clutter is, has a voice and when it’s stuff from the past it screams at us and can bring up memories we just don’t need to entertain especially when they’re negative. In The Joy of Being Disorganized, I really focused on eliminating clutter and I’d like to give you that chapter There Arose Such a Clutter. When you consider that each object in your home has a voice, you begin to understand how noisy a cluttered home can be and when you begin to understand what an incredible person you are without decluttering a single object, you will experience renewed energy and an excitement to get organized just enough to please YOU!

Posted in Uncategorized

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