It’s Time to Party but Make It Easy on YOU!

Dear Friends,

Yesterday I was talking with a FlyBaby on Facebook. We have been friends for many years. I had noticed that the day before she had been suffering with a stomach bug. She private messaged me to say she was thinking about me. It was so sweet. I asked how she was feeling? She said, sucking on Popsicles and cooking up a storm.

I chastised her in a loving way and said you need to be resting! She had a birthday party to get ready on Sunday. She was making a ton of food. This precious grandmother was trying to do it all herself.  She was cooking for 20 people.

Do you do this to yourself? We don’t have to suffer to be the “hostess with the mostest.”

I am going to give you some tips for making a celebration fun and easy on yourself.

  2. Set a menu if you like or leave it to fate. (hard for a control freak.)
  3. Assign dishes to other family members. We do this!
  4. Decided what you are making. Limit yourself to 2 items.
  5. Get food and paper products in the house a week prior.
  6. Use paper plates, napkins, and paper table cloths.
  7. Use your Crock Pot to keep from burning food and the house cool.
  8. Start cooking a couple of days head of time. Be your own sous chef!
  9. Set up a buffet table with note cards of where the food goes.
  10. Get in bed early so you can get up early the day of the party!
  11. Put on your pretty clothes and pace yourself setting things up.

Here are some of my cooking tips.

  1. Baked beans taste the same if you dump the makings in the crock pot and allow them to cook on low. Timing is everything according to the party time.
  2. Potato salad is best made with red potatoes. I boil mine with the skin on. If you want to peel them you can easily after they cook and cool. I cook a couple of days ahead and refrigerate.
  3. Since you need onions for a couple of dishes; cut them up at one time. Bag to be ready to use.
  4. I cook my eggs in the oven. I like to call them angel eggs. I bake them a couple of days ahead of time. Follow directions to a T. Don’t forget to add some extra eggs to use in your potato salad.
  5. I make hamburger patties ahead and freeze them. They stay moist inside as they cook on the grill. Put on a cookie sheet and freeze then bag up.
  6. Cover your counter with waxed paper or parchment paper to make clean up easier.
  7. As always, start with a sink full of hot soapy water and an empty dishwasher. It makes clean up a breeze!

I want you to the most amazing hostess! This only happens when you pace yourself! Planning a party is a great way to get your home looking great too. Check your calendar and set a date to party with your family and neighbors.


Do you have your calendar yet?

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I Am Proud Of Myself

Dear FlyLady,

I have been flying for years now, and have made so much progress in my home!  I am peaceful here, people enjoy coming over, they can stop in any time, and we enjoy being home.  Yesterday I made the mistake of telling my husband how happy I am with our home since I have decluttered so much.  All he could see was how much I had NOT decluttered and bring that to my attention, that the house is not perfect.  It could have been so discouraging.  Thank God for you, flylady and crew!  I rely on your affirmations, they are constantly in my head urging me on.  The peace I have can not be undone by someone else’s idea of some perfect house I should have, even my husband’s.  I am still decluttering 15 minutes at a time.  It may not ever get done, but that is OK.

I recently visited a 101-year old friend of mine.  Her home is as welcoming and loving as it has been all my life, yet it would never make it into a magazine.  One thing I did notice, I got some of my decorating habits from her, not my mother.  How interesting that was to me.  I see pictures of clean uncluttered homes in magazines, yet I would not want to live in most of them.  They have no books, no musical instruments, no reflections of anyone living there.  My friend’s home is full of family pictures, mementos of her long and interesting life, books, original art by her friends, and most of all, love.

Many blessings to all of you!
Bette, flying in LA

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May Habit #21 My Walking Experience

Dear FlyLady,

I LOVED the testimony of the mom who walks with her two young kids and I wanted to share my walking experience with you.

Some of my first memories are of walking with my grandmother at age 3. She would take me out walking around our large block so that I would be tired enough to take a nap. I loved it–and I can also remember asking her to go for walks with me when she would come to visit us. Well–those walks turned into a love affair with walking that has lasted for nearly 50 years! I am now 52 and I love walking more than any other workout or exercise. I enjoy other exercise as well but walking is at the top of
the list.

After my knees became arthritic and I was unable to walk, it motivated me into action–I got knee replacements a few years ago and I am now working back up to longer distances and I couldn’t be happier!!!!

Thanks, FlyLady for motivating us to Move in May and make it a habit!!!


Pittsburgh FlyBaby

Posted in Habit of the Month Tagged , , , ,

31 BabySteps


Shine your sink! Keep it clean and shiny. Before bed make sure it is empty.


When you first get up; get dressed to lace up shoes! Fix your hair and face too.


Keep your sink shiny & continue to get dressed when you get up each morning. I was out in the yard because Robert is still asleep. This is my favorite plant, a Sweet Scrub! It smells wonderful in the afternoon!


Place Post-It Note above kitchen sink: Get Dressed and Shine Your Sink!


Recognize the negative things you say, now turn it around to something good!


Let’s find HotSpots in the home. It’s any flat surface that collects stuff. Clean it off!



Your Before Bed Routine. Pick out your clothes for tomorrow before you go to bed!


Celebrate! I am so proud of you! You have a simple Before Bed & Morning Routine!


Let’s add decluttering to your Morning Routine. Try a 5 Minute Room Rescue and 27 Fling Boogie!

DAY 10

Set a timer for 15 minutes and gather all the trash in your home and dispose of it!

DAY 11

List your favorite quotes! You can’t organize clutter; you have to get rid of it!

DAY 12

Don’t crash & burn! By allowing perfectionism to take over! Get our daily emails.

DAY 13

Have you seen our daily missions? You never have to spring clean again.

DAY 14

Checking your calendar keeps you organized. Is yours big enough for your family?

DAY 15

Add making your bed to your morning routine. Each room has a shiny sink. Make It.

DAY 16

Read a Morning Musings. Our messages simply change your thinking!

DAY 17

Establish a bedtime! Put it on your Before Bed Routine! You need 8 hours each night

DAY 18

Check out my 11 Commandments! Simple rules to live by. Finally Loving Yourself

DAY 19

Are you ready for your home to feel like a Bed and Breakfast? Read this testimonial!

DAY 20

Laundry stand in the way of FLYing. A load a day keeps Mount Washmore Away!

DAY 21

Every DAY I answer a question. Ask your question! Email

DAY 22

Has perfectionism stopped you from making a control journal?

DAY 23

Add an Afternoon Routine. Start dinner, & help with homework, empty lunch box.

DAY 24

Add Swish and Swipe to your MRoutine This keeps your bathroom company ready!
DAY 25

It takes a month to establish habits. Be kind to you! Give Yourself a #Gold Star
DAY 26

Don’t allow perfectionism to beat you up if you miss a day! You’re not behind!

DAY 27

What’s for dinner? If you think about this at 10:00 am; you will know the answer!

DAY 28

If you don’t take care of you who will? Eat healthy food & drink your water!

DAY 29

With BabySteps; you’ve learned the basics of FLYing. Progress not Perfection!

DAY 30

To stay organized is check your calendar twice a DAY. Any upcoming Birthdays?

DAY 31

I’m so proud of you! Keep decluttering & get signed up for emails. Keep FLYing!

Posted in testimonials Tagged ,

Why Are We Saving It?

Dear Friends,

Why do we save our good stuff for a special occasions? We deserve to use the gifts we have been given. Don’t save your pretty things for special occasions. Pull them out and use them!

1. Good China
2. Nice glasses
3. Linen table cloths.
4. Pretty underwear or night gowns
5. Good purses
6. New towels
7. Special bottles of bubble bath and soap
8. Cloth napkins
9. Candles
10.Good silverware
11.Fancy tea pots or silver tea services
12.Stationery/ cute notepads

We all have some of these things stashed in our cabinets, linen closets and our dresser drawers. They are just sitting there unloved and collecting dust. We got them for wedding presents or our parents handed them down to us. You may have purchased them for yourself. They are all waiting to we unpacked and used to bless us or our families.

Let me tell you why I think they are unloved and why we don’t use them. We have put them in a place that we can’t easily get to them. They are in a box in the garage, On a shelf in the basement, stuck so far back under your cabinets, that it would take two hours to pull them out or they are on the very top shelf and you need a ladder to get to them. Then if you do get them out, they are filthy dirty and need to be washed. We don’t have time to enjoy our pretty things. So we hide them away. So we don’t have to see them and feel guilt about not using them. Or we really don’t love them.

If we will get rid of the clutter that is in our kitchen, our linen closets and our china cabinets, we will have more room for the things that you love. When we take the time to get them clean, they will be ready to use. There is another benefit.

When we set a formal table, we can teach our children proper table manners. Many times we eat with our fingers, when we have sandwiches and pizza. Our children have no clue which fork to use first or how to use a butter knife or cut meat. If we are going to help our children feel comfortable in these types of situations, they need practice. This is a good time to let them practice, setting the table and using their best table manners. This has become a lost art. They will need this one day, when a boss asks them over for dinner or at their own wedding.

As for the other items you have stashed in dresser drawers, don’t wait till your family buries you in them; then is too late for you to feel sexy wearing them. Get them out and wear those pretty undies. You will be so surprised at how good you will feel, and no one will know. This goes for those night gowns you have stashed too. You know the ones you have gotten for Valentines day.

If you are not going to use them, then you might as well give them to someone that will. If you never liked them, then release them and have no guilt about it. Give them away, someone will love them and you will be blessed by your gift.

Make every day a celebration, by treating your family like they are company!

You deserve to FLY,


P.S. When you don’t use the gifts your family gives you for Mother’s Day, Christmas and Birthday then, they don’t think you liked it. Use it up and they will give you more.

Posted in Morning Musing Tagged , , , ,

Ten Minutes is not Long Enough

Hi FlyLady,

We moved from a 2 bedroom condo in Chicago to a 4 bedroom 3 bath home in Michigan. I have been on the wagon with your ideas and then off again. My question is about home blessing hour. My house is big enough that ten minutes really doesn’t do it? Can I set the timer for a long period of time? I tried dusting today and I didn’t hear the timer go off because I was too far away from it. I am not sure how long it took me to dust the house.

Thanks, Cindy

FlyLady here: Cindy Cindy Cindy! You have allowed your perfectionism to make a simple task of dusting into something to be dreaded. This is why we came up with our FlyLady Feather duster. Keep in mind that Weekly Home Blessing hour is not DETAILED CLEANING HOUR. Detailed cleaning is what our daily missions are all about.

You are not allowed to set your timer for more than 10 minutes. I do not want you to crash and burn. Weekly Home Blessing is just about getting the middles done. Don’t pull out couches or pick up the things on your end tables. Use your feather duster fast.

One time someone came to my house to see just how in the world I could dust whole our whole home in two minutes. I put on some fun music and did it for her. If I can do my whole house in 2 minutes with my feather duster then you can do your 4 bedroom home in 10 minutes.

Here is a little fact that you may not have know. Dust does not get under items on the tables. That is why the feather duster is so great at working its magic feather all around your pretty things.

Here is another option for you so you can hear your timer. If you have two floors then do a Weekly Home Blessing on Monday’s for your first floor. Then on Friday do another Weekly Home Blessing for your second floor. We don’t have to dust like our mothers did. I remember as a child being given that white glove test. We are the boss of our homes. There is no one who is going to do this to you.

Please let go of your perfectionism and remember that housework done incorrectly still blesses your family!

Here is an essay I wrote about how to use a feather duster.

We all know about being forced to dust the way our mother’s wanted us to do it! We do not have to be be our mothers to dust! We can do it our way! Feather dusters are an amazing tool that helps us to have fun and at the same time get the job done!

They don’t just move the dust around they pick it up with all of their thousands of tiny feathers. Each plume is made up of these little feathers. They do all the work, so you don’t have to!

I like to hold my duster as if it were a pencil! Then with little quick flicks of the duster; the feathers surround the items on your tables and pick up the dust so you don’t have to pick up the item. Did you know that dust does not get under the items on your tables; just around them.

If you use your duster every day then you will never have to see dust again. Isn’t that what our routines do for us! When we develop habits our homes clean themselves. Just a few short minutes in the morning and then in the evening along with picking up after yourself and your house can be on automatic pilot too!

Posted in Ask FlyLady Tagged , , ,

Giving Me Structure

Thank you fly lady!

Your emails the past few days have helped me realize how much more I need to take care of myself. I have been struggling with depression and anxiety for the past 2 years. It is much better now that I am on medicine. But now I am able to see the things I need to be doing for myself. Your story about your struggle with depression a few days ago made me start getting dressed first thing in the morning. That helps so much set a better tone for the day!  Today’s essay just continues to reinforce that self care makes me better for me family, not taking away time from them.  I have followed you for years now and just wanted to say thank you, thank you, so much. The cleaning and routines have helped keep me out of chaos even in the midst of depression.  The routines help give me structure to my day when I am depressed and can’t make mind figure out what to do for the day. So thanks again!

Sarah B.

Posted in testimonials Tagged , , , ,

I Need A Calendar I Can See

Dear FlyLady,

Earlier this week, DH (Dear Husband) and I were sitting in our side-by-side recliners discussing something, and I’m sure it must have been important, because some of it was louder than normal for a little while there.

One of the things I remember in detail was my husband asking, “How can I be expected to know what day it is if I can’t even see the calendar?!” (Let me explain two things: He may be in early Alzheimer’s dementia, AND that in our 14×14′ living room two calendars were in sight; one from the Dollar store, about half the size of the calendar I had hanging on the side of the fridge, which was only 8′ away.)

“I need a calendar I can SEE. . . like that one there on the fridge. . . where did you get that?” “FlyLady,” was my calm reply, as I got up to switch their residing places. As I sat back down again, he hove a sigh of relief and said, “Now THAT is a calendar!” and he smiled.

I have a set of multicolored Markies with which I write my appointments in green, his in red, OURS in black, payday gets a yellow hi-liter, and really outstanding appointments with specific other people are written in or underlined or circled in orange and/or blue. (Got to use ALL of those colors, you see! LOL).

Thanks to your calendar, I KNOW we won’t forget to go, and I KNOW where the tickets are! (We don’t get to go until the Ides of March!)

Thanks to your awesome calendar, a family discussion remained just that. . . instead of becoming a fight. Thank you!

FlyBaby M in Indiana

2019calendarFlyLady Here: If you have never used our FlyLady Calendar before, then you have a treat in store for you. We have large squares to hold all your family’s schedules.

Use Coupon Code Dust018. This code expires at Midnight EDT Tonight!


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May Habit #20 We Shouldn’t Forget

Dear FlyLady,

As we learn to move more, we shouldn’t forget our families either!

I asked my DS, age 2-1/2, if he wanted to go for a walk this morning. No way – who wants to sit in a stroller while Mommy gets her workout?!

So we are MARCHING in MAY! Wow, was he up for that idea! I set the timer for 7-1/2 minutes and told him we’d MARCH until the timer went off and then we’d turn around and MARCH home again! My DD, age 16 months (only walking 2 months now!) was so excited she was literally jumping up and down.

Off my kids marched, with me close behind. We got all the way around the block and I didn’t have to carry anyone home. No, I didn’t get my heart rate up where it needed to be (I can do that after they go to bed), but I was so happy to watch them enjoying the late spring sunshine.

They are learning the importance of moving too!

FlyMommy in Illinois

Posted in Habit of the Month Tagged , , ,

Is Your Bedroom a Junkyard?

Dear Friends,

Are you still trying to sleep in the midst of a junk yard? You know exactly what I am talking OK about! Your bedroom! Over time it has become the graveyard for things that have no home. It is time for you to purge these things from your bedroom. I want your bedroom to be a haven for you each evening when you put your head on your pillow.

Clutter in your room is not conducive to peaceful rest. If you are still having a hard time tossing out this stuff, then go to our website and check out all the messages from your sisters. They have shared with us their UFOs from your bedroom: Ugly, funny and old items that were stealing their peace. There is probably a pretty good chance that you will identify with at least one of those UFOs! If you do, then go toss it now. Just one item! You can do it!

Some of you have been obsessing about our zones. Quit. If you try to do too much too fast you will get tired and burn-out! Our goal is to set up routines and stick to them. NOT A SPOTLESS HOUSE. This will be the result of our goal.

Zone 4 is our master bedrooms, bath and closet. If you don’t have a bath, consider yourself lucky.

I want you to ask yourself a few questions about this room in your home.

1. Do you sleep here?
2. Do you want the room to be restful and inviting?
3. Do you want do get up in the night and not bump into things.
4. Do you have trouble closing your Drawers?
5. Can you find the clothes you are looking for?
6. Do things fall off the closet shelf and hit you?
7. Are you afraid to look under the bed?
8. Are clothes piled to the ceiling on the chair in the corner?
9. Is your cedar chest filled with stuff you will never wear again?
10. Can you walk between the bed and the wall?
11. Do you have to crawl into bed from the foot of the bed?
12. Is stuff piled so high on the dressers and nightstands?
13. Are the Cobwebs becoming moth collectors?
14. Are the dust bunnies reproducing in the corners and under the bed?
15. Can you see out your bedroom windows?
16. Can you close your closet door?
17. Have the spiders decided to winter over behind your bed?
18. If you open the drapes does the room fog up from the dust in them?
19. Do you know what color your carpet really is?

Now that you have asked yourself these questions, I can hear you saying, where do I start?

First I want you to realize that this is an on-going process. You may or you may not get the whole room cleaned. That is not our objective. We are focusing on our bedroom this week and any thing you do in this room will be an improvement over the way it was last week. Each month we put this room first in our minds. All I am asking is that you do a little bit each day; fifteen minutes, thirty minutes, I don’t care. You can even do the 27 FLING Boogie. Just do something every day.

Progress Not Perfection


Posted in Morning Musing Tagged , Helping women around the world get their home organized. Copyright 2001 - 2018 FlyLady and Company, Inc.