Often while answering your emails, I respond with a message this bears repeating and an expounding. This morning I got a complaint that my mantra, “Housework done incorrectly still blesses your family!” should be changed. They said it was negative!
I have found over the last few years that PERFECTIONISM is the main reason our homes are in this shape! PERFECTIONISM is the reason we are depressed and PERFECTIONISM keeps us from making things better.
We have been brainwashed our whole lives by our parents, teachers, and spouses that if you can’t do it right don’t do it at all. So guess what! We didn’t! I am trying to undo this stinking thinking and give you the freedom to just do something even if it is not the way your momma would do it.
What are the mindless words you hear in your head, whose face is saying these things. Next time you hear them. Stop and ask yourself whose voice?
If you can’t do it right, don’t do it at all. WHOSE VOICE?
I can’t possible do this now, I don’t have the time.
I can’t leave this unfinished.
This house has to be cleaned all at the same time.
That’s not the way Momma did it.
I can’t shine my sink, because the dishwasher is already full.
I can’t lay out my clothes for tomorrow, because they are all dirty and I need to wash everything I own.
I don’t wear shoes in the house because my carpet will get dirty and we have babies on the floor. (Don’t get me started with this one today, I am stopping myself, it is really hard)
Anything less than perfect is not acceptable.(this one has perfect in it)
I can’t start this system, until I have my control journal all set up.
There are too many emails in my box, I don’t have time to read them. (If I said this, I would never get anything done.) You think you have too many emails, you should see my inbox everyday. I read one at a time and answer. All you have to do is read and delete at will.
I haven’t found the right planner yet.
It takes me 3 hours to vacuum my first floor.
I can’t exercise during my morning routine, I will get sweaty and have to shower again. (So exercise before you shower) or don’t do such strenuous workouts. Take a walk with the stroller or Dance like no one is watching. Just do loving Movements.
I’m waiting till I get the perfect FlyLady shoes! Excuses! Excuses! Excuses! Wear what you have and get started.
We are getting ready to move. I will start fresh in our new house. Not if your routines aren’t in place. It will become the same pig stye you moved away from, you just took your bad habits with you.
Oh and my favorite! It takes me too long to get dressed in the morning, that’s why I stay in my sweats and barefoot. It takes you too long because you spend too much time thinking instead of doing. You are not going to the prom, just looking presentable to your family and yourself and whoever pops through your door.
Robert had a wonderful Geometry teacher in High School. She taught him, “Anything worth doing is worth doing WRONG! This is where I got my saying, “Housework done incorrectly, still blesses your family.”
As Robert walked out the door one day, He said, “I just had a thought and it sent chills down my spine.” I said, “WRITE!”
Do you hear your Mother’s or Whoever’s Voice saying, “That’s not good enough, you can do better than that, go back and do it right!” It really didn’t matter how nice a spin they put on it the message came through loud and clear. “Anything less than perfect is unacceptable!” and the horrible extension: “Unless you are perfect, you are not good enough.” or Not Worthy of Being Loved!!!
Is this what you have suffered with your whole life?
Well I have news for those voices in your head. None of us are perfect! We have never been and we will never be. Quit striving for the unattainable. We are IMPERFECT BEINGS AND I AM THANKFUL FOR MY EVERY IMPERFECTION!
Now when are you going to Finally Love Yourself enough to say, “I can not live with this any longer. I have got to stop.”
Are you ready to FLY, Finally Loving Yourself? Let go of your Perfectionism and start to live without fear of being rejected.