Back to Basic Musing: If Momma Ain’t Happy

Dear Friends,

My only concern in the world is for you, your home and your family. I want you to realize that my mission in life is to help you find the peace that I have found. Without my routines, I would not be able to help you. I applaud those of you that have other missions; we all have to find our paths in life. My mission is to help you clear out the clutter so you will know what your mission is. We have seen this happen time and time again.

But it doesn’t happen over night! Despite the fact that we can crisis clean and the house will look presentable for company! Our attitudes are the peaceful deciding factor in our homes. Let’s think about this for a minute. When we clean and feel that we are the only one who does anything, then we are playing the martyr. Regardless of the fact that the statement may be true, you have made yourself feel bad (pity-party again) and let’s not forget about the deafening sounds of silence in your pout or even worse the loud yelling tones of disapproval toward your family and the screaming demands for someone to get off their backside and help you!

Everyone will stay clear of you at this point! No wonder you don’t have any help. No one wants to be around you! Now let’s look at the reverse of this whiny attitude.

When we quit nagging, pouting, yelling, screaming, and just go about our daily routines then the tone of your home and your voice begins to change. The yelling, screaming, nagging, and pouting have not worked to get any help around the house; then why not try something different. A change in attitude!

You are responsible for the tone in your home. You can decide to be happy and it will happen. You can be mad and everyone will be mad, or you can be in a tizzy and the whole house will be turned upside down in a matter of a few minutes. You can be stressed and fearful, and your babies will know it. So will your critters.

So why does it have to be your responsibility for the tone in your home. I don’t rightly know, but as we say in the south, “If Mama ain’t happy then nobody’s happy.” Maybe it is because we are the nurturers. I know when I am sick, I still want my Momma! We look to the female of our species to take care of us, whether we are 5 or 50. I didn’t make the rules, but we are all called on to live by them whether we like it or not. Rebelling doesn’t make us any happier. Besides what is wrong with being content.

I am listening to a beautiful piece of music right now. My Sweet Darling put on a violin concerto by Mendelssohn. I asked him to tell me what he knew about the composer. He told me that his critics said his music had no conflict and resolution, that it was too sweet. Well to that I say what is wrong with sweet, does everything have to be conflicted and be fixed! I kind of like being satisfied, content, and things going along smoothly.

Since having my routines and clutter out of my life along with my new attitude, I no longer live on adrenalin. For years I was constantly putting out fires and running around with my head cut off. When you are tearing through life: you miss so much as well as being more accident prone because of your rushing. When are you going to slow down and let your routines put you on automatic pilot? It is such a blessing to flow through your day and not be feeding on the frenzy of CHAOS! You are going to be so surprised when your calm example entices your family to pitch in. I know you don’t believe me, but it will happen if you will take our attitude adjusting essays to heart and let them turn your CHAOS into peace!

Are you ready to FLY?

FlyLady

Sunday is our day to renew our spirit. Think about how you are going to slow down on Sunday.

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Ask FlyLady; What is a Basic Weekly Plan

Dear Friends,

This year’s motto is “2015 is Your Year to Shine; 15 Minutes at a Time.” We are going to have fun with our new motto!

The question has been asked more than once: what is a Basic Weekly Plan? Let me start by explaining how the idea of a Basic Weekly Plan came about. On New Year’s Day of 1999, I was determined to “Get Organized.” In the process of trying to figure out why Pam and Peggy’s Card File System had not ever worked for me for very long, I started sorting all my cards into piles: Daily, weekly, monthly and seasonally.

The daily cards became my morning, afternoon and evening routines. My monthly cards were broken down into the five zones in our home. Seasonal cards were posted on our calendar. Then there was that pile of everything that needed to be done each week.

This is when I decided to assign a topic to each day of the week. And I divided the pile between the weekdays. Let’s start with Sunday.

Sunday is Renew Your Spirit Day: Take care of me
Monday is Weekly Home Blessing Day: Bless my home and laundry
Tuesday is My Free Day: Lunch with friends,
Wednesday is Anti-Procrastination Day: Things that get put off, menu planning, clean out your refrigerator.
Thursday is Errand Day: Grocery Day and appointments
Friday is Clean out the Car Day, Date Night and Do Bookkeeping
Saturday is Family Fun day; Spend time with family

Make a list of everything that you need to do each week. Set up your very own Basic Weekly Plan or use ours.

Are you ready to FLY with a Basic Weekly Plan guiding your way?
FlyLady

If you need more help with a Basic Weekly Plan there is a worksheet in our Digital Control Journal. Don’t let your perfectionism stand in the way of peace you deserve.

You can get your Control Journal with our Office in a Bag. We only have red ones.

I use the red on for my Emergency Control Journal.
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Pamper Mission 01/25/15

relaxDear Friends,

You’ve worked hard this week! It’s time to take a little break and have some “Me Time”. You deserve some pampering. I want you to set aside 2 hours for a break. You don’t have to do this one alone but feel free to if you need some alone time! I want you to watch a good movie. Give your brain and your body a break for just a little bit. And pamper yourself with a favorite movie. Here’s a list of some of my favorite feel good movies:

Crossroads
Grease
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
Clueless
Sixteen Candles
Dear John
Mean Girls
Freaky Friday
Never Been Kissed
The Princess Bride
Sweet Home Alabama
Sleepless in Seattle
The Proposal

Grab a glass of wine or some refreshing flavored water and unplug from the world for a few hours while you enjoy some fun entertainment. Your mind and body will thank you for the break. And don’t feel guilty, you’re worth more to yourself and your family when you are rested and relaxed!

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Ask FlyLady: Really 15 Minutes

Dear FlyLady,i-gLQhqkK-L

My home is filled with clutter, how can only doing 15 minutes a day of decluttering make a difference?

Confused FlyBaby

Dear Precious FlyBaby,
Your home did not get dirty in a day and it is not going to get clean overnight. You will be shocked at how good your home will look after a month only 15 minutes a day of decluttering.

When you first joined our little cyber-family; all I asked you to do was go shine your sink, lay out your clothes for tomorrow, get up and get dressed to shoes, do a simple morning routine (swish and swipe is part of that) and declutter for 15 minutes a day.

You have been a collector of clutter for many years and now we have to establish a simple little habit to help us reduce that clutter in babysteps. If I told you to back a truck up to your home and start throwing stuff away; you would run as fast as you could to get away from this crazy woman. This is why we do it in babysteps. You don’t even realize you are getting rid of your clutter. We start with a very simple hot spot fire prevention. I still have to do this twice a day to keep my favorite hot spots from taking over my living room.  We have developed some fun ways to reduce our clutter in a painless way; 15 minutes at a time.

Over a period of about nine months of doing this every day; you won’t have too much to get rid of. I like to think of this as giving birth to a new you! With your habits combining into routines you will find that house cleaning is no longer something that you dread but something that gives you pleasure because you are blessing your home, your family, and most of you blessing yourself.

After all you have to do this for you and no one else.  When you get rid of your perfectionism and try it the FLY way, then you will see those ineffective habits FLY out of your door and new FLYing Routines come home to stay. Your CHAOS will become only a bad dream and your new life will have you shining like your kitchen sink!

2015 is Your Year to Shine; 15 Minutes at a Time!

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Check out our Last Chance Items.

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Back to Basics Musing; Hot Spots

Dear Friends,

Do you feel like the whole world is crashing in on top of you? Believe it or not it happens to all of us from time to time!

When we get busy, we feel that we don’t have time to do even the simplest of routines. So what do we do! We let our HOT SPOTS take over our homes!

Yes that is all it is! You come in the door tired and ready to drop your load where ever you can put it! Then you crash! No wait you have to throw something together for supper and I mean throw! Because when you are finished the kitchen looks like a bomb went off and you feel like you could get out of the way. By this time you are so overwhelmed that you just want to hide so you go to bed without doing the smallest of a before bed routine and all of a sudden your home has exploded in your face and your husband is pitching one of his usual fits!  Ugly words are exchanged and you feel terrible!

Here is the secret to stopping this explosion before it starts. When you hear yourself saying that you don’t have time or you don’t have the energy to do something. Stop dead in your tracks and set a timer for 5, 10, or even 15 minutes and do a quick pick up and put away. That is all it takes to make you not feel so overwhelmed.

Our Hot Spots attack more than our home. They hurt us inside by causing us to feel bad because we can’t keep up, as well as zap our energy! Now I want you to pay close attention! You can start over anytime! You are never behind! Do you hear me?

That stinking thinking of “I don’t have enough time” is for the birds! It is what got your home in the shape it was in when you joined our cyber-family! It’s our perfectionism rearing its ugly head one more time! You can stop the downward spiral by replacing those terrible words, “I don’t have time!” with “I can do just 5 minutes!”

This is a huge attitude adjustment for most of us. It takes time and worst of all we don’t even realize we are doing it. Now that it has been brought to your attention, you will hear yourself says those words. When you do; turn them around and just set your timer and do just a little. I can hear you now! “BUT! I really don’t have the time! She doesn’t understand. Well I am here to tell you that I used to think the same way and I have changed my negative thoughts into positive ones and you can too. It all starts with the realization of what you are doing to yourself with those words. It is a form of WHINING! You know I don’t allow whining!

I want for you what I have: PEACE! This peace came for letting go of negative thoughts and replacing them with positive actions. Even a little will go a long way toward helping you find this peace!

{{{Hugs}}}

FlyLady
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I Did it for Me

FlyLady Ultimate TimerDear FlyLady,

I am a SAHM FlyMom with 3 kids (9,6,4) who has been fluttering for over 3 yrs. with your system.  I am nowhere close to perfect (and never will be), but I have come SO far in these many years.

Anyway, I have to tell you about a recent phenomenon.   My in-laws came to stay with us for 4 nights.  Although I was happy to see them and to give up our bed for them, I was not looking forward to the disruption to my routines.  I did my weekly blessing and some decluttering every day until they came.  However, I still saw stuff everywhere and felt overwhelmed by it all.  The martyr in me was whining “No one is helping me”, “I am doing the best I can with everything else on my plate”…etc.

Two days after they left, my oldest DS was going off to sleepover with a classmate.  My Mom took the younger kids to sleepover at her house.  I did MORE in the hour before I went to drop off the kids than in the “four days of preparation” for my in-laws.  I wandered around the house with a bin and got all the small toys and dumped them in the toy box, went under all the kid’s beds and got all the toys and clothes.  I vacuumed the upstairs including under the kid’s beds.

I realized later it was because I did it FOR MYSELF.  I wanted to relax and have a super long date night with DH.  I did not want to spend my free time a) cleaning or b) feeling guilty.  Notice what the right motivation (FOR ME) and a deadline (A TIMER) can do.  You have to do this stuff for yourself and the rest of it will happen naturally.

Thank you FlyLady and all the wonderful crew.  You have changed my life and I tell my kids “Everyone makes mistakes”, “It doesn’t have to be perfect” all the time.  What a great legacy!!

ATL area FLyBaby

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I’m Fluttering!

Dear FlyLady,
I can’t believe it’s working!!!  Today I mopped my floors even though they weren’t terribly dirty. I washed THE PANS even though there were only two and my bathroom has stayed clean for months!  Doing the dishes every night and morning is a great routine, and I love when my ceramic sink is shiny and bright.  I feel like a great person when my kitchen is clean.  I love the top of my kitchen counters and I love that it only took about ten minutes to mop the floor because it hadn’t been a century since I did it last!!!  I started with the bathroom, and made sure to keep it clean every day, now it’s no big deal–and my kitchen is very nearly no big deal, which is a BIG deal!I have a long ways to go, but the difference so far is amazing.  Thanks for helping me find a little bit of happy.

FlyBaby J in Utah

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Back to Basics Musing; Menu Planning

Dear Friends,i-LQJmZBg-L

Many times we just think too hard on a subject or think it is going to take a long time to develop a menu plan for your family that we just don’t do it. We wait till the last minute to even begin to cook something for ourselves and our family. As a result we throw in the dish towel before we even open the refrigerator door and head for the first drive-thru. This drains our pocketbooks and adds unwanted pounds to our bodies. Do you know how much money you have been spending on food for your family? This means in the grocery store and eating out.

Most of our income is spoken for by fixed payments: Utility bills, phone bills, house payments, car payments and credit card payments. When it comes down to saving real money the only place we have any wiggle room is on our food expenses. A little planning today will keep the money in the bank instead of it slipping through your fingers as you pay your toll at the golden arches.

Here is a simple way to make your menu plan: Keep a food calendar. All you have to do is pencil in what you had to eat every night. This will help you to build your menus for a week and this is a great start. We are all creatures of habit, so use these family habits to help you build a routine for your meals.

Let’s use Sunday as an example: Do you go out to dinner or do you fix a big family meal. If you cook; is it pot roast or chicken? Are you beginning to see a pattern to our meals? This is why I like to have a theme to each meal for every day of the week. It can either be the type of meat you are cooking as the main course or how you cook it; the grill, crock pot or casserole.  Or you could have a country theme; Italian, Mexican, Chinese, Greek, American, or Plain ole southern country cookin’.  You can have some real fun with this and teach your children how to cook at the same time. Each night you could have a different Kid Chef. You would let your children help decide on the menu, make our grocery lists and then help prepare the meal. There is no better way to help a child learn about nutrition and real food. Just teach your child to make a salad and watch them ask for seconds and offer them to all the family.

Knowing what you are going to cook is half the battle. The other half is having the food in the house so you can pull it out of the freezer or pantry and fix it. If you have to go to the store you might as well just pass those arches again. This is why having a day set aside to plan menus, take inventory of your refrigerator as you clean it out and then go grocery shopping will help you enjoy cooking with your family again. You will be surprised at how much fun it is to cook when your kitchen is clean, your sink is shining, and you have food in the house.

Are you ready to feed your family while saving money by getting back in the kitchen? Your sink is shining and you have your shoes on! Get out your calendar and begin simple menu planning.

FlyLady

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Check out our Last Chance Items.

 

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Why Not Just a 12 Month Calendar?

Dear FlyLady, 200

Why make an 18 month calendar if you are buying a new one before you use more than 12 months? Why not make a 12 month from September to September? Plus it is soooo hard to throw away those months you are not going to use.

Thanks for everything you do.

Answer:

We all need a little GRACE in our lives. Our calendar goes for 17 months from August to December of the next year. We are SHEs and we need a grace period when it comes to getting a new calendar. The holidays is a tough time to remember to buy a calendar. Those grace months are there to help you; not make it hard for you. They cost you nothing to have them. Use them if you have not reordered your calendar.

I actually keep my calendars. They are not clutter to me. I can see where we were and what we did. I can also see weight fluctuations. This helped me to figure out when I became anemic. Many people write their menus on their calendar because there is plenty of room. Others write down their child’s first tooth, step or words. You can also keep funny things your family says in your calendar. It can become your Family History Journal!

Don’t allow your perfectionism to bite you once again. This causes us to procrastinate and then before we know it there is no place to write down you family reunion for next year. Next month we will be practicing our menu planning! Is your calendar big enough to write in your meal plans.

Get your calendar now before you get desperate and resort to writing on the wall! LOL Have you been one of our members who has been trying to do without a FlyLady Calendar because of those Grace Months? Get your calendar now and stop whining about a free gift with purchase. LOL You get 5 extra months for the price of a 12 month calendar. Now that is a deal!

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There Should Be A Warning on the Cover!

Dear Pam,

I love your writing and I have read some of the testimonials from your fans for The Joy of Being Disorganized and I thought it would make a great birthday present for my daughter’s birthday, so I bought it for her. But when it came, I tried to read just a little without breaking it open so she couldn’t tell I’d been in it. Well, I couldn’t put it down!

I think you should put a warning on the cover that says, “If this was purchased as a gift for someone, do not sneak read any portions, because you’ll want to keep it for yourself.”

Today I ordered one for myself, which will hopefully come in time to give to her because I’ve totally sprung open the one meant for her! LOL!!!

Love,
Peggy

*********************************

I love that The Joy of Being Disorganized makes the perfect gift for the SHEs in your life. It’s like a gift of peace and joy. I wrote it after spending almost 35 years helping SHEs get organized just enough to please them. It celebrates the fabulous nature of SHEs. It gets the SHE reader to appreciate her disorder rejoice in her creativity.

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