He Wanted IN

Dear FlyLady,

I am new to flylady and I’m working on the baby steps right now. I shined my kitchen sink while my husband was at work. When he came home he said, “What did you do to the sink?”

Thinking I messed it up I started to tell him what I had done. Before I could say anything he said, “It’s a different color” (I’m thinking, ohhh noo)  “I have never seen it look so good!”

(sheww) I have now noticed that he washes his dishes right after use and dries and puts them away. He told me that the sink is to pretty to mess it up with dirty dishes.

I was surprised. I told him about the flylady routine and how I was trying to get everything clean and organized. I was actually really shocked when he wanted in on the plan. He since then has been putting things where they go, our “hotspot” never gets cluttered, and he even started cleaning out his things. This method is really contagious. He sees that I am spending time doing it and he doesn’t want to mess it up. Thank you Flylady!! You have been a blessing to our home.

Thank you,
Ashley

Posted in testimonials Tagged , , , , ,

August Habit #17 My Biggest Challenge

Dear FlyLady,

We have 4 kids ages 9, 5, 3, and 21 months and I am 27 weeks pregnant.

Laundry in our house is one of my biggest challenges. It always seems to be piling up.

Here is my best laundry idea to date!

I hung a small cork board near my dryer in my laundry room.

As I am folding my laundry I pin any unmatched socks on to the board. This keeps me from putting odd socks away in drawers and never finding a match, and if I haven’t found their mates within 30 days they are recycled into rags or tossed out.

Helps keep our sock drawers nice and tidy too.

Happy flying everyone!!

Lesley, New Brunswick, Canada

FlyLady here: Our habit for August is working on Laundry.

A load a day keeps CHAOS away!  We have a great tool to help you sort as you take your clothes off.
Do you have a story or tips that will help other FlyBabies with this habit? Please send them to FlyLady@FlyLady.net with LAUNDRY in the subject line.

Posted in Habit of the Month Tagged , , , , ,

Clever Calendar Tip

backtoschool

Coupon Code Expires Monday at Midnight EDT

 Dear FlyLady,

I just received my second FlyLady calendar in the mail, and I wanted to share a calendar tip. My husband works regular shifts; he works one Thursday to the following Wednesday, 6 AM to 6 PM, then has a week off, then repeats the same pattern. I always have had a problem keeping track of which days he was working.

When I got my calendar I bought a bunch of little colored dot stickers, like you might use at a yard sale, and I went through and put one sticker on each day he is working. Now I can see it at a glance – if there is a sticker, he is working, if not, then not! It’s so simple but it makes a big difference – I do two or three months in advance and I never have to ask him to check his schedule to tell me if he will be working.

As I am a teacher I also love using your “No School” and “School Event” stickers to mark my work schedule on the calendar as well. I also sing, both volunteer and paid, in several places and I can use the calendar to track those gigs as well. Thank you for giving us such a great tool to stay organized, and to keep track of each other!

Flybaby A in PA

FlyLady here – I love how clever this is! It is really hard for families to keep track of each other when there is not a set routine for work schedules. I love how this FlyBaby A found a way to just glance at the calendar and know her DH’s schedule! Awesome!

Our 2018 FlyLady Calendars are in the FlyShop now just in time for the upcoming school year.

Posted in Uncategorized Tagged , ,

How Do I Get Rid of Mental Clutter?

Release Your Mental ClutterDear Friends,

Is there something that is holding you down and keeping you from FLYing?

This extra burden can come in physical trash or mental garbage.

I was reading an email this morning, I was blown away by the God Breeze that filled my sails.

Here is her message:

******************

Dear FlyLady,

Do you have any suggestions for implementing a “mental” 27 fling??? You know, all those old frustrations, angers, resentments, hurts, etc., still floating around & weighing us down.

I’ve got no problem with the physical clutter — bought 2 new pairs of shoes last week, came home & threw out the 2 worn out pairs. Bring in the mail, 90% goes in the recycling bin, the other 10% gets immediately routed to where it needs to be.

But, for example, last night I lay awake for about an hour fuming with anger over something someone had done — now I *know* beyond a shadow of a doubt that it had been a careless inconsiderate mistake on their part, totally without malice — but I was so weighed down with this mental clutter that I just got really *angry* — and I know that the fire of my anger consumes only me.

It’s not a matter of forgiving specific people for specific wrongs — just the accumulated mental clutter of years, like worn out clothes, that needs to *GO*!

I’d love to put it in a box & put it out at the curb for the trash man — but *HOW* do you do that??????

Do you have any suggestions? I’d really love to declutter my brain now, so I don’t carry this garbage around for the next 40 yrs LOL!!!

Thanks!

FlyLady Here:

Let me start by saying Thank you to this wonderful member for her insight. Many of us have suffered with this problem and overcome our attitudes. This is one of the hardest Declutter Challenges that you will ever face. I have two ways to deal with it. You can do them both, neither or just one of them. One solution has to do with prayer and I will send that essay out in a separate email. Send an email to FlyLady@flylady.net with PRAY FOR SOMEONE in the subject line.

For many years I was very angry at my biological father. I felt abandoned and betrayed. He and mother had divorced when I was ten years old and as a result of brainwashing on my mother’s part, I decided that I did not wish to be around him. In fact I hated him. This hatred lasted until I made a conscious effort to look at what these negative feelings were doing to me and to my family for almost twenty years.

I found that my anger only hurt me. He didn’t know how I felt and as a result did not have to deal with the brunt of my anger. I guess this is a blessing, because I didn’t show out by saying ugly things to him. My anger was turned inward. Many times when the person who has hurt you, lives in your same house, it is hard to suppress your feelings. Now don’t go ballistic on me. I am not telling you to bite your tongue or suck it up. I just don’t want you lashing out in anger. It is fine to sit down and have a conversation about this and share your hurt. Just don’t say ugly things that you can’t take back.

We allow our martyred attitude to rule our lives. This is just another form of self-pity and whining. Our attitudes set the tone for the whole household. We often get our feelings hurt and just pout for days, weeks or years. Yes I have heard about 2 year pouts. Here is my feeling on this. Get over it. You are not hurting anyone but you when you do this.

Harboring resentment sucks the life right out of you, it is time to release this and get on with your life. Resentment and anger are like a cancer that eats you alive. It takes the joy out of living.

I have a personal mission for my life: To find joy in everything I do and be a devoted loving wife to my Sweet Darling. I don’t find joy in feeling bad about someone or remembering what someone has done to me.  It is O.K. to grieve for a day, but then let it go.

Here is how I release the people that have hurt me. I write their names on a sheet of paper as well as the wrong that has been done to me. Then I take the paper and put it in my fireplace and watch it burn. Then I practice the act of forgiveness each time I think of the wrong. I just tell myself that I have forgiven them and it is no longer worth my worry. Life is too short to be consumed by negative feelings.

When you can let go of the pain from our past and proceed with babysteps into a happy and peaceful life you will find yourself FLYing.

It is time to release these things that have been holding you back and watch your worries go up in smoke. This goes for hard feelings and things that you have been putting on the back burner. Take care of this and FLY!

I want for you the peace that I have found! You do not love yourself when you fill your heart with negative feelings.

FlyLady

P.S. This goes for the objects in your home that make you feel bad when you look at them. Only have things in your home that bring a smile to your face.

Posted in Uncategorized Tagged , , ,

Please Release Me

Dear Friends,

The other day I was stumped by an interview question. Now let me tell you: I can answer any thing they throw at me, but for the first time I was speechless. The question was; what was the weirdest item that I had ever flung. I had to admit that I could not remember because once it is out of my home I never think of it again.

Over the years we have decluttered many things from our homes. We have noticed that your weird items tossed had a feeling of sadness and we wondered what that was going on. I have studied this question and came up with the answer from my mid-night editor.

The sadness comes from guilt!

Guilt from buying it in the first place
Guilt from not loving it enough because a loved one gave it to you
Guilt from being raised by parents who saved everything
The sadness is also mourning for lost loves or lost loved ones
You know those relationships that have ended in divorce
The ones that never really got to marriage but still hurt
The pain of remembering a loved one that died because they didn’t take care of themselves
The pain of losing a parent
The pain of losing of a child
The pain of not wanting to let go of the item
The pain of holding a grudge
The pain of not forgiving someone for a wrong

I know that FLINGing is tough. It dredges up sad times and the guilt that we put on ourselves for spending.

When you walk through your home I want everything you have to bring a smile to your face. In order for this to happen you are going to have to examine the first thoughts you have when you see an item. If you have a bad feeling the item needs to go away! I mean this! There is no room in your life for anything that makes you feel bad or self punishment.

Your home should reflect happy thoughts! You can do this by releasing those items that make you feel bad. You may have to sing my favorite FLINGing Song: Please Release Me. I have told you to sing it from the stuffs point of view, but this time sing it because you want to be released from the pain that this item makes you feel. Once the item is out of your home, it will not dredge those bad memories ever again!

When I was asked the question about the weirdest item I realized that once it was out of my home it was out of my head. As a result of releasing it; I also released the guilt and sadness that the item represented.

Let those feeling go out the door with the clutter. Please Release me let me go. The clutter has had a hold of you for a very long time, but once you acknowledge what it is doing and you can mourn the loss and not only cleanse your home of clutter, but your soul of the guilt.

Oh I remembered weirdest item I have ever decluttered: It was airplane rivets that we got in a workbench at an auction. We kept them for a couple of years thinking that they had to be good for something or someone. NO! All they did was take up space in our garage and we eventually we tried to recycled them because they were aluminum, but our recycle center would not take them. We even contacted everyone we knew that might have a need for them. They were useless! We finally let go of the guilt of not being able to find someone to love them and released them.

I want you to find peace and this peace comes from letting go of clutter and the guilt that is associated with it. The best gift you can give yourself is the gift of forgiveness.

Are you ready to FLY?

FlyLady

Do you have someone you need to forgive? Today forgiveness has been in my mind on many levels. I have been doing a Bible study on forgiveness. If you need help with forgiveness please check out this link.

backtoschool

Our Coupon Code Expires on Monday at Midnight EDT.

Don’t procrastinate!

 

Posted in Morning Musing Tagged , , , , , ,

Boost My Self-Esteem

Dear FlyLady,

I have been following you for almost 2 years and my house looks great! My bed gets made as soon as my feet touch the floor every morning. My kitchen and my bathroom get tidied and shined every night. I break up the once a week hourly blessing into easy 10-15 minute daily tasks.

My clean house gives me a sense of peace, but I think it is my routines that are the biggest boost to my self-esteem. I have never, ever had routines before and I love the sense of ease and purpose they give me.

Your habits of the month have really helped me. BUT I have still not conquered Mount Washmore. My daughter complains about me “never doing the laundry”. Ugh! You are so smart for making laundry the habit to practice for August: back to school time!  I spent this weekend cleaning out my laundry space getting ready to fly!

Thank you so much for your monthly habit emails. I feel inspired and supported everyday.

BE the person you want to be.

Posted in testimonials Tagged , , , , ,

August Habit #16 My Control Journal My Laundry Days

Dear FlyLady,

I always had a problem with laundry but one day I had a Ah ha moment. I bought some of the fold up kind of baskets they don’t take up as much floor space. I have one for whites and one for colored clothes. Okay, that solved the sorting problem.

That was not enough. I thought and thought and then another Ah ha moment. I started washing different laundry on different days.

Here comes another item to my control journal my laundry days.

Monday – sheets and towels put back on bed and in bathroom
Tuesday – my DH clothes folded and put away.
Wednesday – clothes that need to be bleached folded and put away.

Thursday – my clothes some need to be hung to dry the others put away.

This made it so much easier not as many clothes to deal with at one time and I never leave the laundry room without them being folded or hung on hangers. This way they can be put away as soon as I get in the bedroom.

The funniest thing about it is my DH even knows what day everything is done on. He has even shared this with all of his friends because their wives seem to have the same problems with this chore. You never know what men talk about when they are together. HA HA This worked really well for me.

Now I don’t need to worry if my DH wants us to go off for the weekend. We can even leave on Friday nights if we want to. This makes my life so much easier.

I just want to thank FlyLady and everyone else for all of the ideas that can make our lives more productive.

Flying in Va.

Jenny

Posted in Habit of the Month Tagged , , , , ,

Back to School

Dear Friends,

This time of year everyone is writing articles on how to get the children ready to go back to school. I know this is an important topic for you but we have left out the main person that has to get the children ready for the first day of school; YOU!

You are the one who has to get up and get the family moving each morning. It is your responsibility to make sure they go to bed and get the rest they need to have a productive day. Your summer has been filled with a “happy-go-lucky” spirit. No one really had a bed time or their alarm set for morning.

Then when it came to mealtime; everyone just ate whatever they could find when they got hungry. What happened to the structure in our day? What happened to our routines? If we are going to expect our children to jump on the routine bandwagon then we better be there leading the way; not just barking the orders.

We teach best by our example. Not just a simple do as I do, but an example that is set in love and from the heart. If you are not taking care of yourself; you are not going to be able to take care of your family and show them the value of routines.

Most of our lives we have run around putting out fires just to stay on top of housework, bills, jobs and the responsibilities of parenting. If you are a born organized person these things do not take a toll on you, but if you tend to get sidetracked then you know about putting out fires. A born organized person just gets things done and the people around them do not even know that it has been done. If you were raised by a born organized person you have experienced this for yourself when you got your own place. Wasn’t it a shock when the toilet started to grow things? Who knew that it was cleaned on a regular basis?

If you are this born organized person I am not putting you down. All I am saying is your children don’t know that this is what is happening. So when you tell them to go clean the bathroom or their bedroom they have no clue. Mainly because it was just easier for you to do it yourself than to show them that there actually is a routine to housecleaning and most things in life. For the other 80% of us that are not born organized there is hope! We can learn to be organized. Imagine that! Taking the methods that a born organized person does naturally and using them to help us gain control over our homes and lives and in the end give our children the tools to go out into the world on their own. Born organized people can’t even teach us sidetracked people what they do, because they have never had to figure it out; they just do it.

I have watched the people in my life that are born organized and what I have noticed is they tend to do the same thing in the same order every single morning. At first I thought that must be so boring and then I realized that it was brilliant. The brilliance comes from having the mundane things in life taken care of so you can have fun. Isn’t that what all of us really want; to have little fun. We love fun and most of the time we are having fun; except when we are beating ourselves up because the kids are late to school again because you over-slept.

It is time for us to go to school and learn something that will help us enjoy life without the guilt we place on ourselves.

Are you ready to Fly though this school year?

FlyLady

Do you have your big Calendar to keep up with all the kids’ events and games? Be ready for when they bring home their school calendar! Go online and put their events on your calendar today. We have a back to school sale going on right now. Use Coupon Code B2SCHOOL15 to save 15% on any order.

calendarFB2Get Your Calendar Today

This 17 Month Calendar is large enough to hold your family’s busy schedule! August 2017 -December 2018.

It is 14 inches wide and 21 inches long when opened.

This is a great way to keep your family organized!  

Put your calendar in a central location and your family will start using it!

Check out FlyLady’s Calendar Tips!

Posted in Morning Musing Tagged , , ,

Ask FlyLady: We Need Help in the Morning?

Dear FlyLady,

I’m Jenifer, and I work as a substitute teacher. I started last year and didn’t expect to end up working basically full-time hours , and my home showed it!

This year I’d like to have a plan to keep it under control, but my routines tend to become overwhelming. I don’t have time in the a.m. because all 8 of us share one bathroom and have to leave at the same time, but streamlined afternoon and evening routines would do the trick.

I just need help not trying to put in too much! Any suggestions, or point me toward some other posts on the topic- I (and my family!) would really appreciate! Thank you so much!

Jenifer

Dear Jenifer,

You also need a morning routine. Racing to get out the house while everyone is battling for the bathroom is not a fun way to start your day. Those words, “I Don’t Have Time!” are self defeating! Stop saying that! You do have time if you will follow some of these tips.

My suggestion would be for everyone get their showers the night before; if you are not already do that. Establish your launch pad by the door where you exit the house. Each evening place the items you will need  by that door. Each person in your home should do the same thing. This will keep you from looking for items in the morning.

I want you to eliminate the CHAOS in the mornings. You are the person who sets the tone for your home. This is why it is so important for you to go to bed at a decent hour and get 7 to 8 hours of sleep each night.

Good rest will give you the ability to get up before the flow of the family. Just 15 minutes will get you dressed to shoes and that frees the bathroom up for others. With your shower out of the way as part of your before bed routine; there is less to do in the morning.

I know I wake up with chicken hair; this is why I wet my hair before I style it. I like to keep a spray bottle of water to help with that. As a child I learned early on that I had to share a bathroom with my mom and three sisters. I learned to do most of what I needed to get dressed in my bedroom. The only things that actually needed doing in the bathroom where brushing my teeth, showering, and using the toilet.

Your Before Bed Routine is going to free up your morning to run smoothly. Because so many people are sharing the same bathroom; you may need to set up a schedule and put a timer in the bathroom. You do have two sinks in the house and teeth can be brushed at the kitchen sink.

It is sort of like you are all college students sharing a bathroom. Each person needs their own toiletry caddy or bag. This way everyone has their own hairbursh, tooth brush, and the items they need to use to get ready.

With your family doing their Before Bed Routine, every person has their clothes picked out with their items are on the launch pad and ready for tomorrow. Even the table can be set for breakfast. Can you just imagine your whole family sitting down to enjoy breakfast together without being rushed.

This can happen. Just a little system to eliminate the stress of a morning will start your day on a beautiful note.Office in a Bag

Do you have your routines written down? We have a Control Journal to help guide you through your day. Post It Notes work too!

Use Coupon Code B2SCHOOL15 to Save 15% on anything in the FlyShop!

Posted in Uncategorized Tagged , , ,

A Revelation

DF (Dear Flylady),

I found you years ago when my husband was overseas with the Army and I had little ones. You have saved my sanity. I make my bed, like a shiny sink, and hit some hot spots regularly, with minimal effort.

Years ago, we found the toilet wand with the disposable, pre-soaped sponge heads. This works for our family. When kids were small I didn’t like to leave a crock of soap within reach.  Plus, my DH will clean the toilets and I don’t have to think about it!

When life gets busy, as you know, routines can slip. Your suggestion to swipe the shower/tub, while you are in it, was a revelation. That also works for me. BUT, Life got busy and shower got yucky. And I was out of sponges. But then I saw that toilet wand and had a genius moment. I scrubbed my
moldy, scummy shower, top to bottom, with disposable toilet sponges, in 10 minutes flat! After all, soap is soap!

-Always Decluttering

Posted in testimonials Tagged , , , ,

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