The Importance of Poise

My name is Erin Olson, I’m a mom of three little kids under the age of four, wife to an amazing husband, Bart, and I’m a model scout.  I recently appeared in a docu-series called “Scouted” which premiered on the E! Network in November.   It’s a show about how we, model scouts, pluck girls from obscurity to turn them into high fashion models. Part of the process of turning them into models is teaching them about poise and how to carry themselves, not only because they need to eventually walk down a runway, but because they will meet with hundreds of clients and need to make a good impression. Personality and poise is just as important as looks.

Poise is something that is kind of hard to define. It is that intangible presence and feeling that you project when you walk into a room: the way you walk, the way you carry yourself, the thought you’ve put into your personal style. It produces positive feelings and helps others feel at ease around you. In the modeling industry, it shows confidence and makes other people want to work with you. It demonstrates that you can carry yourself well as an ambassador for a top clothing brand or a luxury jewelry company. In life it shows that you have respect and care for yourself and those around you. I love teaching young models about the importance of poise because I really feel like this is becoming a lost art in our society.

Most of us Fly Babies are moms, sisters, wives and grandmothers.  We’re very….VERY busy and have little time to clean our homes (thank goodness for Fly Lady), raise our kids, keep up with their busy schedules and run our errands.

Let us consider the reality of my life to which many can probably relate.  I’m a mom to three very active kids ages 4, 3, 1 and one due in March.  Our typical day consists of yogurt being smeared on couch, orange juice spilled on the floor, hands playing in the toilet bowl, constant fighting, whining, and a maybe a few brief moments of peace (which most often translates to a stealthy assault on the candy bowl that was supposed to be hidden).  It always amazes me that I’m able to still communicate with adults because most of my day is spent trying to reason with these little beings and that means communicating on their level.  There are a lot of reasons to snap and get impatient with our kids, and those around us, but I’m coming to realize that the little people and the big people are watching me more than I think.  We are all watching, reacting and ultimately affecting each other.

Perhaps it’s time to think about how we can be more poised and proper and why it may be important.

Here are five reasons why poise is important and why we should implement this idea into our lives.

1. Just like putting on our best outfit, poise is putting on our best personal self.

2. Poise affects our posture, which affects our confidence.

3. Small gestures like being a good listener, not slamming doors, not laughing too loudly, all help others feel at ease.

4. Kindness and thoughtfulness help us become more approachable.

5. And most importantly, poise is actually a service to others.

They might not need me but; they might.
I’ll let my head be just in sight;
A smile as small as mine might be
Precisely their necessity.

-Emily Dickinson

Here are five tips on how to gain better poise.

1. Dress your best.  You will gain more confidence.  If you don’t feel like you have good personal style, learn about what looks good on you and what doesn’t. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a size 2 or a size 20, anyone can dress well and emulate poise.  *Suggestion, learn your body type and know what wear for your shape, it helps so much! You can turn to MissusSmartyPants or even email me if you need help.

2. Develop great posture. Walk and carry yourself with confidence. There is no point in dressing well if you don’t carry your physical body well. It’s not what you wear but how you wear it.

3. Know your best self and be authentic with those around you.

4. Smile more. Actions trigger feelings. Smiling will change your mood and the way others respond to you. Try smiling throughout the day and take note of the response that you get from people. Think of it as a fun experiment, you’ll be amazed at the results.

5. Last thought; don’t take the issue of poise too far and become rigid or too composed. Be able to laugh at your shortcomings and flaws with grace and know that by becoming more poised, you’re essentially just learning how to make people happier around you. It should all be done in the spirit of better enjoying life, learning how best to mingle with the great mixing pot of people that you come across each day.




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