There is Nothing Wrong with Me

Dear Flylady,

I am so happy to have come across your website. 4 weeks ago I was so down in the dumps I was starting to look for a doctor or help group for depression – so I typed something into google like ‘My house is so messy it makes me sad’. I didn’t find your site straight away but I did find a depression forum where someone else had suggested your site. So I went to have a look at what FLYlady was about…

FINALLY!!!! A group of people like me!!!! I am not alone! and there is nothing ‘wrong’ with me – a messy house can make you feel overwhelmed and useless.

It took me a few days to get started, but I went to the store and bought all the items I needed to shine my sink and stuck the instructions from your site on the window above the sink. I made my sink shine.

Over the past few weeks I have laughed and cried with others through your emails. The old thoughts that used to plague me about how it was so unfair that my mother had died while I was so young and she would have taught me how to be a better mother to my family – slowly started to stop. I started to do things to make a difference instead of complain about them. I realized that I had made it very hard for my husband to help me because I would criticize any cleaning he did do as not good enough, so I started to thank him instead.

Right now I know that my sink is clean, my toilet is shining, my bed is made, the washing is in drawers and the floors don’t have piles of stuff on them. Sure my dining table probably has a small explosion going on as does the entrance table, the spare room definitely needs decluttering, my bathroom needs a good wipe down and I still haven’t tackled that corner of my bedroom – but now I see the parts that are clean and they make me feel good. And instead of looking at each of these other messy spots and thinking ‘wow the house is a mess’, I am starting to think – ‘hmmm – that small pile should only take 15 mins – I’ll do that tonight and that other pile should only take another 15, so I’ll do that tomorrow night.’

Today my sister went to my house while I was at work. She called me afterwards. Usually a phone call that started with ‘I went to your house today to pick up…’ would make my mouth go dry with dread at what might have been on the floor, in the  sink, behind the door…. BUT this time she said ‘the house was really tidy – it looks great!’

I am so proud – my house is still cluttered, but it is better and I feel better and it is going to get better and better and better!

Thank you,

Babystepping down under in the capital of Australia

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