We have always had to deal with ever-changing goals of perfectionism. These goals were never attainable for us especially when someone keeps moving the goal posts. We are left feeling defeated and less than. Our family members have, done this to us many times, so I guess this is where we learned it. Because consciously we do not want to set ourselves up for failure but why do we keep changing the rules. I know why. It is our perfectionism. If good is OK then better can’t be too much farther and why not be the best. Can you just hear this conversation in your head?
Well it is not that simple. Because our best means we do nothing else but that and that hyper-focus leads to the classic crash and burn syndrome that we know so well. Why can’t we be satisfied with good enough? It is because our good enough was never good enough to garner the love and praises that we so desperately needed. This is the reason we pushed ourselves toward the illusive ever changing goal of perfection.
We don’t have to be perfect to love ourselves. All any of us need is the balance that comes for having effective habits that build into solid routines that keep our day running on a smooth and even keel. There is no such thing as perfect. We can never reach it, so why are we killing ourselves and our family in search of it!
If you want to have a peaceful home you are going to have to let go of your perfectionism and put that psycho woman back in the closet. You deserve to cruise on smooth water and not make a lot of
waves. Enjoy the process! It’s all about taking those babysteps and being nice to yourself!