Our precious little princess inside of us just really wants to be loved! She has tried so hard for acceptance and most of her life she has been told in many different ways that she was not good enough. Eventually the little child just gives up!
Did this happen to you? Were you forced to wash dishes over and over? Were you told to clean your room only to have your mother or father come in and do it for you by throwing your stuff away? Can you see how we rebelled against this lack of acceptance? We quit trying. We knew it would never be good enough so why bother.
I just want to hold that precious little child and tell her that she is loved and show her that she is good enough and is worthy to have a home that blesses her. We have had housework was used a punishment. No wonder we didn’t want to do it. I have gotten emails where a FlyBaby found herself standing at the sink sobbing. She wasn’t even upset. She was just crying. Now I am not a psychologist or a doctor but do you think she could have been having a flashback with a traumatic incident from her past. I have never thought of that before. She said she used to be punished with washing the dishes.
What did we have done to us! What have we done to our children because of that! We have the ability to re-parent ourselves. The hardest part is letting go of our perfectionism is saying “Good Enough” is “Good Enough”! This goes against everything we were taught! Everything we were tortured with and everything we have crammed down our throats from the first day we were born.
Our poor little child within us tried so hard to live up to those unrealistic standards. Even when we did our best it was never “Good Enough”! We may not have been told that in words but their actions would speak much louder than the words that were never said.
Perfectionism is a parasite that feeds off the love we didn’t receive. It establishes residence in its host the first day that little child gets crushed. From that day forward perfectionism has its hold on us. Then we pass it on to our children. My goal is to rid our bodies of this vicious cunning chameleon-like parasite and keep it from taking root in our children and grandchildren.
Perfection is something that we are taught is supposed to be a good thing! When you look hard at it, you can see that it is a disguise that either makes you give up before you start or it pushes you to exhaustion. That little child only wants to be loved so she just works and works for that praise, only to have her little bubble burst. Then she says why bother because it will never be good enough.
Are you ready to expel the perfectionism Parasite and not infect others with it? It starts with forgiveness. Our parents had this done to them too. We can stop it right here and right now!
One babystep at a time!
Leanne and I wrote about forgiveness in our book Body Clutter.