Why is Wearing Shoes so Hard?

Dear FlyLady,

Why do SHE’s have such a hard time getting dressed to lace-up shoes? I haven’t been working for you very long, but this habit and this baby step are the HARDEST for them from what I’ve observed.


Nikki and I were talking in IM one afternoon when she asked me this question. I told her that I thought it was because for half of our FlyBabies, they don’t feel like there is any need to get dressed because they are not going any place and the only people who will see them are their children.

Then I asked Nikki, “What do you think the answer is?” as a FlyLady yourself. (This means Nikki is required to be dressed to shoes each day)!

Nikki said, “Well, I think it’s our inner brat. It seems like everything really is kind of difficult, but we see results right away, being told to put our shoes on doesn’t show quite the “super fast” result.

It takes about a week to realize the benefits, I think, it did me, so our inner brat is like, hey I can do all the other stuff why do I need shoes! So let me hold onto one thing I am in control of. Shoes EMPOWER US! They did me!”

I agree with Nikki, we rebel because we don’t like being told what do to. This being said, we didn’t force anyone to join our group. We show you what has worked for us and hundreds of thousands of others. If you are rebelling lacing up your shoes then take the challenge to try it for one week. Wearing shoes is about being kind to you and your feet!

As for those of you who refuse to wear shoes in your home and require everyone to remove their shoes when they come into your home; I want you to get or clean-up a pair of shoes that you just wear in your home. Do not go outside with them. They are just to wear inside.

Shoes tell our head it is time to do something. They keep us from making excuses. We tell you to tie your shoes to your feet so you won’t lose them. LOL

Getting dressed to Lace-up shoes is going to change your life! Just step out in faith for once in your life; you may be pleasantly surprised! Your feet are going to become soft and beautiful. You will not believe the difference wearing your shoes is going to make.

Do you have a story of how shoes changed your life? We want to hear it. Send it to me, FlyLady@flylady.net with SHOES in the subject line.

Here is a Shoe Testimonial that made our book, Sink Reflections.

Hello FlyLady,

It is not like me to write feedback but I feel compelled after this last week. I have been learning to fly now for about 5 months and every time I get discouraged you seem to stick with me. I didn’t realize what a life altering system this was until I attended a Labor Review class last week. I am due to have a baby in 3 wks., my sister was a gem and went with me to the class since my DH had to work.

At one point, the instructor went around the room and asked each mommy-to-be to name one thing that would empower us – something that makes us feel strong! I didn’t even have to think about it – I was first to answer and mine was “My shoes!” My sister looked at me with a confused stare – I think she was somewhat embarrassed because the other ladies went on to say things like “My husband,” or “A picture of my kids.”

I explained to my sister that all of those things made me strong but for some reason I felt like I could conquer anything as long as I had my shoes on. Well, I – of course- know where the whole “shoe” thing came from, but it has been my little secret. You see, my extended family was all pretty much BO and they would laugh if they knew – but I find comfort and acceptance in your system. I have shared my great find with a certain SHE friend that I knew would respect it, but other than that, no one knows. There is no pressure and I feel like I am growing at my own pace. Now, I haven’t heard the end of “My shoes” yet.

My sister told my husband, parents and everyone at my baby shower – one lady seemed to understand, she said “If we handled everything in life like a sporting event (with our shoes on and our minds focused) we would probably find strength we didn’t know we had.

Thanks for helping me to find my strength. I am prepared for this baby and feel in control for once. We are having a house built and I can’t wait to treat it like a castle – now that I know how!

Thanks again –
Flying in California


When I first subscribed to your group, I could see the sense of wearing shoes right away. I decided I could at least do that! I have never worn shoes around the house, but I started putting them on in the morning. The funny thing is, I would look down a few hours later, and no shoes!! I would then have to search the house looking for them. I was unconsciously taking them off! I’ve gotten a lot
better. I still occasionally find that my shoes are no longer on my feet, but at least it doesn’t happen several times a day!

Keep up all your good work! This group is changing my life and my home. Thank you.


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