Fifteen Minutes

It’s an unusually nice day, and after dressing I am yearning to be outside, in the warm sun.  But, this is bill paying day and for fifteen minutes I have to sit at the computer and pay some bills that are due. I am torn –  sunshine, bills, sunshine, bills…..

I could pay the bills later. After all, it’s only fifteen minutes – I could find time tonight for bills…the urge to spontaneously step outside is so strong.

For the next ten minutes I am paralyzed with indecision. I don’t go outside, because I know I need to pay the bills. I don’t pay the bills, because I am so distracted with finding a way to do the task later.

The reality check sets in. Ten minutes, gone.  I could have been almost finished. The truth is,  I might or might not pay the bills tonight….but probably not. Once I procrastinate on one routine, I tend to procrastinate on the next routine.  Telling myself “later” starts a chain reaction – I will say “later” all day long. Then I will miss deadlines, find myself reacting to a series of crisis. When I reaches chaos, “spontaneous”  isn’t even in my vocabulary – I am just trapped and unhappy.

It’s only fifteen minutes; I can do it later. It’s only fifteen minutes, I can do it right now.

The bills are paid. I step outside, grateful for the beautiful day, grateful to Flylady.    Fifteen minutes took nothing away from the sunshine. Fifteen minutes gave me the peace to enjoy it.


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