When someone makes a suggestion encouraging me to make a change, I respond with, “Sounds good, I’d like to, but I can’t. It’s complicated”.
“It’s complicated” – my multi-purpose answer, to end all possibilities of starting, ending or changing anything. It’s vague enough to apply to things I haven’t tried and to things I want to stop.
The “complication” is that I don’t know how to untie the big giant knot in my life that will enable the start, the end, the change. And I have lots of these knots. Big knots, little knots, knots in my family, home, finances, career, relationships. I have knots within myself – clutter, dependencies, crutches, fears. Lots of complicated knots that become larger with time and never seem to untie themselves. The more “complicated” the knot, the more it confuses and overwhelms me. Sometimes the knots get twisted with other knots – then it’s even more “complicated” to separate this from that.
FlyLady says things are not necessarily as “complicated” as I believe and illuminated the real meaning of “it’s complicated”. Not making a change or decision because “it’s complicated” is procrastination. It’s my insecurity, guilt, fear, perfection – keeping all those knots tied up. I like to think others created the knots but – they are of my own making. It’s my fear that they hold. They are mine to untie.
I watch the birds outside, building nests. They pull one piece of straw, carry one twig, piece by piece. The beavers build dams by cutting one tree, one branch at a time. The spiders spin webs, starting with a single strand. I go to bed, there is nothing. In the morning, a new nest, a dam across the lake. A dazzling web where yesterday, there was nothing but the spider. What they accomplish in one night – IS so complicated – yet created without fear, without procrastination, one piece, then the next. How can I not be humbled, to dismiss making a small effort by saying “it’s complicated”?
Flying can undo any knot and build anything new. It’s separating the pieces and pulling them through, one at a time. Unravel the pieces I love, use and need, fifteen minutes, babysteps, consistently. All of nature is Flying. I “complicate”, when I over-think the obvious. Flying isn’t complicated. It’s simple. Begin, FLY.