One of my most challenging lessons in Flying is to identify when someone else’s crisis is one “yes” away from creating my crisis.
Friends, family, work….I have the tendency to rescue others while abandoning myself. About a year into Flying, I started to see that when I said yes to helping others with a last minute crisis, I neglected routines and sparked the simmering of my own crisis. I’d find myself feeling stressed, overwhelmed, tired….peace just gone away.
My heart aches to always respond “yes”, to any “please help me”. I can deeply sympathize with crisis, panic, indecision. I wanted to be the PERFECT friend, relative, business person. I never could have lived with the guilt of “no”. I used to say yes to all of it, no matter how much sleep, money, time, energy, it cost.
Flying has taught me to distinguish the “please help me” of emergency and crisis. “Emergency” is the dire, unforeseen event. The house fire. A death in the family. A major illness. An accident. “Crisis” is I created a big mess, drop everything, rescue me.
For an emergency the answer is always “yes”. But for crisis…before I say yes, I am learning to remove the guilt and perfection from the decision. I only have to ask: Am I Finally Loving Myself? Am I FIRST Loving Myself?
Flying tells me when I need to Fly around, not through, the crisis of others. I can sometimes say yes to someone in crisis, when I always saying yes to Flying.