FlyLady says procrastination and perfection are at the root of chaos. I found this to be true, in housekeeping, clutter, work, relationships, finance, dieting, all aspects of caring for myself. I find it hard to make decisions. I respond, when an external pressure causes crisis, and an action can no longer be avoided. Once the momentum of crisis ends, I usually leave whatever isn’t done unfinished.
Everything in my life drifted along in a state of abandon. I never started anything that is good for me. I never ended anything that isn’t good for me. I felt very powerless, because it was always the external event or the other person that dictated my crisis-reaction. Nothing was initiated or severed by me.
When I began to understand the complex relationship between procrastination and perfection, a lot of explanations fell into place. I search so hard for the best answer that I wait too long, debate too much, and am overwhelmed projecting outcomes. I get stuck between the inertia and fear, and don’t say yes, but don’t say no. Much of the complication in my life had occurred simply because I had defaulted the decision making process to all the external situations and people. The external decisions that were imposed on me arrived as crisis, and were not bringing me happiness, or fixing any problems.
Managing perfection, defeating procrastination, conquering the big decisions – I often find the perspective in decluttering. Learning to ask need, use, love of my things, and reclaiming the space around me, leads me to ask need, use, love of other situations, people, identifying what I want to keep, what I can let go. The questions in decluttering become the choices for my harder decisions. Flying, I find the answers, within me.