For many years, I wanted to paint the walls in my home. But there was so much clutter, it was impossible to reach even one wall. After joining Flylady, I decluttered my living room enough to paint the walls. I removed the stuff I had chosen to keep and painted.
In the blank wall, without my clutter, I see my fear, yet I cannot bring myself to re-attach the sentimental past I thought I wanted to keep. The empty wall leaves me in an abyss, not reflecting the past that is gone or the future I can’t envision. And I cried, because I didn’t know what to do, with the blank walls.
Just as the house holds too much clutter, my soul holds too much fear. But I can’t carry every moment I have lived. I can’t carry every fear of what might go wrong. Not in my house. Not in my mind. Not in my soul. Not on my wall. I know hanging sentiment changes nothing from yesterday, and gives me no control over tomorrow. That nothing from the past, no amount of fear, can make my future secure. The real courage, the real freedom, is in defining the blank wall as possibility, hope, and trust.
Flying, I realize, is finding strength, release and faith in a blank wall. The abyss is like Flying through a cloud. Not able to see behind, not able to see ahead, but trusting that I am Flying. There is my freedom, in a blank wall. There is my freedom, in Flying.