It is all of me, that needs to be loved. I can’t pull myself apart and say – this is good, this is bad and this is really, really bad. Attempting to perfect the positive in myself and ignoring the negative until it fades away is not real change. Forcing my character to be stronger is not real change. It’s stashing and dashing the mess and clutter of me under the bed. I needed to find a way to love myself in totality.
Flylady says – “you can do anything for fifteen minutes”. This has meant so much more than “do anything”. It has meant, “accept everything”, for fifteen minutes. “Love all of me”, for fifteen minutes.
FLYING, is doing something to go forward, accepting the way I am, and releasing hurts of the past, fifteen minutes at a time. I can keep a promise for fifteen minutes. I can allow distraction to be freed and indulged for fifteen minutes. I can give love and prayer to a difficulty I’ve long held within myself for fifteen minutes.
There may come a day when I am ready to be more than what I am. When I understand, characteristics that are nonsensical and demanding of me now. When I forgive and release habits or painful mistakes that don’t serve me. FLYING has taught me these changes happen when I give myself love without condition. Embracing, with appreciation, what I can offer. Giving time to what is insistent. Asking the God Breeze to lift away the past when I can’t let go.
Doing anything that I can. Accepting everything that I am. Compassion for what was. Fifteen minutes, loving all of myself, is FLYING.