Why am I Afraid? The Answer in FLYing.

A clutter epiphany came in the last two lingering gifts I received from the holiday. A winter scarf. A pan for the kitchen.

I already have a scarf I like, a pan in good condition. This is not a sentimental decision.  It’s not a use decision. It’s a need decision. Do I NEED two? No. I need one. But those thoughts, in the back of my head, getting louder and edging forward – I could stick this extra pan in the back of the closet – a spare, if I accidentally ruin the one I use. I could tuck this scarf in the bottom drawer, in case I lose the one I wear.

I will never remember the extra scarf in the bottom of the drawer, or the extra pan in the closet. Duplicates, that I won’t ever look for, is creating clutter, not security. Flying has taught me that the important question is not – should I keep the extra – the important question is – what is the unnamed insecurity? In my fortress of scarves and pans, what, am I really trying to protect?

Why am I afraid?

Flylady has shown me wanting “extra” security is usually connected to how distant I feel from God’s love. Scarcity seeks extra security – if I am a little vulnerable because of a financial burden, a shift in a relationship that has not settled, a career decision looming, a health issue to manage…I am afraid. Insecure, that the outcomes might leave me indebted, alone, unhappy, incapacitated. Not certain, that I will have what I need.

Flying, I have learned that I can understand what I really need in asking, of any “extra” item – what is served, in me, to hold this? The answer often has nothing to do with the item I hold in my hand. I don’t need an extra scarf, or a spare pan. I need a prayer, and then I need to let go of the scarf, the pan, and the fear.

Decluttering, asks love/use/need. Asking, finds the truth. The truth, finds my prayer.  Flying, finds my faith, my security, in release.

Susan

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