Little was happy in the confusion of my chaotic home. Little was positive within my chaotic mind. Peace was in the consolation of chocolate. Hope was the half-hearted promise that I will get organized, as soon as things calm down.
I never enjoyed today or looked forward to the future. I yearned for yesterday’s happiness and love and simultaneously wallowed in upsets as far back as my memory could carry me. I dreaded the possible misfortune that might befall me.
I had my reasons as to why I was always late, broke and overwhelmed. I had my reasons for stress, sadness and indecision.
Flying has shown me that the chaos in my house mirrors the chaos in my mind. I remain in chaos to whatever extent I refuse to “change my mind”. The “reasons” that support and sustain chaos are excuses that allow me to wallow and procrastinate. In regret, I am refusing to acknowledge and accept that the past is the past. Procrastinating, I am refusing to acknowledge and accept that the future asks me to change.
When I do not let go of anything, all I really keep is chaos. The imperfection and mistakes of the past and the future, all must be released. Chocolate cannot take me home. Waiting does not calm the future.
Letting go and moving forward happen within the hope of a baby step of courage taken now. It is the choice of one positive thought, that gives birth to one positive action, one moment of love, one moment of forgiveness. One thought, can change everything.
Shining my sink, I tell myself, “it’s going to be okay”. I release one small mess in my mind and one small mess in my house. In my Shiny Sink, I change my mind. A shiny thought finds the faith that lets me FLY.