I have learned, FLYing, physical clutter from the past often reveals guilty clutter from the past. Guilt is a form of chaos. It isolates and disempowers. Unforgivable, I am flawed and doomed by my history. Guilt flows into the future as fear – I have failed; I will fail again.
Just as with physical clutter, sometimes I let go of guilt easily. Ignorance, the naïve judgment of youth, spontaneous, unintended accidents – these guilty mistakes of innocence, I forgive.
The guilt I cannot forgive is the emotional blunder in loving others. Acts that looked like love from my heart came from the misery of martyrdom and a threatened ego. Martyrdom was the only way I knew, to gain love. Ego was the only way I knew, to measure love. Wanting love took me from little white lies to selling my soul. Truth, exchanged for approval. Values, betrayed for security.
Flying has taught me, martyrdom is a lack of worth, manifested in helplessness. Love is a burden; love is to blame. Martyrdom grasps at love through self-pity. Ego can only possess – it has no boundary, in adding to what it owns. Love is ego’s servant. Ego seizes love by calculated traps.
Guilt from martyrdom and ego have nothing to do with love for others. This guilt has everything to do with an absence of love for myself.
Love given and received, from my heart, is free. It cannot be bought, sold, grow from pity or breathe in captivity. Pure love cannot manipulate. It allows honesty and transition. People change. Success redefines, repeatedly. Happiness loses and gains significance. Experiences come and go. The face of love, transforms.
Guilt has become a compass that asks me to redirect myself to the truth. Am I FLYing with love? Am I FLYing through change? Am I FLYing, with the willingness to release the love I receive with the love I give? Guilt tells me, I am FLYing away from my heart.
Allowing change, without controlling change, in myself, in others, is love. The martyr, the ego, the guilt, released. My heart, free, can love, can FLY.