Dear FlyLady,

First, I must say I’m a big fan of yours. I just received the calendar, pens, and Body Clutter. I have bought several dusters a few years ago. How you have helped me is fantastic, though I still consider myself a FlyBaby. All my friends are BOs, and it’s comforting to know that I’m not alone in my struggles, because I really felt alone in my clutter until I found you and all your friends!

Now, about your logo — will you ever re-vamp it? Don’t you think that she is just a little too plump? Believe me, I’m plump, too (need to lose 60 lbs). Although many of us who are clutterbugs also clutter our body, I just think that the FLYLady logo should lose some weight, too, and be a little more healthy. Maybe she should get rid of the fishing pole and hold a duster in one hand and a bottle of water in the other! She also doesn’t have all of her fingers. Have her wear the vest, too!

What do you think?

Massachusettes FLYbaby,

Mary

NO NO NO NO!!!! MY Cartoon will never change. We like her just like
she is! A good friend told me this today: She is my muse and has used the FlyLady Cartoon to guide her though a brain injury and scars from childhood abuse.

Flying is about acceptance……….the FOUNDATION of love

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FlyLady here: We have had this question before and I have answered it very well in our book Body Clutter, but for those of you who did not see this answer last year to a similar question. Please keep in mind that just because you preface your negative comments with with a compliment; does not make it NICE!

Dear Marla …

It is time that you changed that obviously obese flylady picture to
the NEW Flylady picture! Seeing this chubby lady that couldn’t fly if
she wanted to … does not represent the new spirit of flylady.net.
Give her some muscles … make her pleasingly thinNER … NOT SKINNY …

Just a very valid opinion and suggestion.

FLYing in Virginia

Dear Friends,

I have gotten a lot of bad emails over the years but I guess this one takes the cake. I realize that she was not trying to be mean, but this hurt my feelings more than any other email I have ever received; but not for me.

It is this attitude that thin is more pleasing than fat; that fat people are stupid, uncoordinated and somehow can’t FLY that has me so upset. This is a misconception that has been created by the advertising world and our perfectionism. My weight loss has not been because I want to look better it is so I can live to do what God put me on this earth to do.

I am going to have to take every hurtful phrase and break it down.

“obviously obese flylady picture” Our cartoon character was drawn from
pictures of me in 2001. Yes I know that I was obese then and I am obese now. It is obvious to everyone that has ever seen me in person that I am not a little woman. Up until the last five months I have been the same size for fifteen years. I didn’t gain or lose. I was a steady size 22. It was so easy to buy clothes. That obviously obese flylady picture has warmed the hearts of lots of people. It is not because she is skinny and pleasing to the eye; it is because of her comforting eyes and her warm smile. She is loving in a non-condescending way. You look at her and she just could wrap her arms around you and you would feel safe. She has a gentle way of shaking her mommy finger and telling you to take care of yourself. You can see how much she loves you all. She wants you to have the peace that she has. That peace didn’t come from being pleasingly thinNER; It came from FLYing.

“Seeing this chubby lady that couldn’t fly if she wanted to … does not represent the new spirit of flylady.net.” There is no new spirit at FlyLady.net or in me. There is the same loving character that made me who I am. It didn’t matter if I was fat or skinny, tall or short, brown eyed or blue, black or white, Christian or Muslim, American or Italian, a stay at home mom or an executive, a woman or a man; Anyone can FLY! It doesn’t take being thin for you to succeed. All it takes is to want to get rid of CHAOS that you have been living in and establish some simple routines while releasing your perfectionism.

This chubby lady did FLY and she is continuing to FLY as she helps all of you get your wings. At the same time she can be the loving wife, mother, grandmother, business woman, friend and FLYLADY!

“Give her some muscles” She already has the most powerful muscle of all; A heart that has the ability to love everyone. My cartoon character will never change. The cartoonist once morphed her into a much thinner sleazy looking character. I absolutely pitched a fit. At that point I bought the copyright from him and made him remove her from his website. When you see her I want you to feel the love that she has to offer; not a smug attitude.

She is who you need her to be! She is lots of things to all different people. She is a drill sergeant when you need directions, she is a fairy Godmother when you start seeing your home come together, she is a loving mother when you need scolding and she is your biggest cheerleader. She always has on her pearls, tennis shoes and a smile. Her hair is fixed and with those eyes she tells you that you are loved not because of your size but who you are inside. She loves you unconditionally. She is FlyLady. It is because she first loved herself; that she can love you!

I hope you see that this is more than being critical of me; it is how so many people just automatically think. The other night I went to sleep praying for you all. I guess I need to spend more time praying for the enemies that try to derail us. I want you to find the peace that I have. This peace came from the simple routines that we teach you and from FLYing! Finally Loving Yourself is the foundation for this world. Love your neighbor as yourself. You can’t love them till you love yourself.

Many of us have lived with this criticism our whole lives because of our SHEness and our weight. We are not what we do or how we look. We are who we are because of our loving spirit that is in our hearts. Don’t allow those perfectionists to steal the joy from life. They are stuck in their own torment and until they can learn to FLY they are only going to continue to give back handed compliments to make themselves feel superior.

My cartoon character will never change; it doesn’t matter if I get to be a size 2. She is the loving spirit that is inside of me and all of us. Embrace that spirit and open up your wings and FLY!

I love you all!

FlyLady

Please pray for all of us; the enemy is doing his best to keep us stuck in our CHAOS. We cannot allow him to win! Words can be Kind or Mean; the Choice is your in 2013!