Dear FlyLady,
First let me say that I have never replied to post on this site, but have been hovering for quite some time. I have bought the FlyLady water bottle and control journal (which still is cluttering up the top of my refrigerator instead of being used). However, I read this message about the butterflies and had to reply.
I am a third grade teacher, and I teach all the butterfly things that FLYLADY just talked about. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine how they related to me. When you talked about the cocoon and how we are imprisoned by it, I started crying. You are sooooooo right. I need to do something besides just read your daily emails. I need to get myself out of this CHAOS that I live in. Ironically, one of my student’s vocabulary words this week was CHAOS! What a wake up call for me.
From now on, I will be making those strides to get out of my cocoon. I will not let this CHAOS I am in keep me walled up. I am tired of blaming others (DD and DH and 2 mastiff dogs) for the mess I’m in. If I want to fly, I need to take those baby steps and just do it. I need to do it for myself and my family. I am ready to fly.
A very new FLYBABY in Wisconsin.
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FlyLady here; Making this decision is the first step. For some of us it is a giant step and not a babystep. We have to reach our bottom and at that point we can start up the staircase to find the peace we have searched for our whole lives.
You can do this too! If I can get out of the clutter and CHAOS; you can too.
Here is a message that goes out every once in a while that asks the question; Have you hit bottom yet?
Dear Friends,
This Group is sometimes a last resort for some of you. What I really mean, is that something has happened that made your realize that it was time that you got your home in order.
Here are some of the things that may have prompted your decision to join this group.
1. Dept of Social Services is knocking at your door.
2. Your husband is getting ready to walk out of the door, because he can’t live like this anymore.
3. Your in-laws are coming for a visit and you are desperate.
4. You are always in a bad mood and you don’t know why.
5. You yell at your babies.
6. You can’t find anything in the house.
7. The housekeeping service is costing too much and you don’t know what you will do without them.
8. You got up in the middle of the night and tripped over something in the floor.
9. You caught the baby eating something that has been on the floor for a couple of days.
10. Your windows are so dirty that you can’t tell if it is cloudy or sunny outside.
11. The holidays were a chaotic mess and you are determined not to go
through that again.
I don’t care why you joined this group; but I do want you to care about yourself.
When you finally hit bottom, you will begin to look for the solution to your problem. If you joined and you are not getting what you think you really need, then you may not be ready to really change. I saw a quote today, If you truly want to change your life; you must first be willing to change your mind.
The change I am talking about comes from within. It is your attitude toward you and nothing else. You have to love yourself to get your home in order. I can see you shaking your head, no!
Loving yourself is the key to all of this. Without it, you won’t get up and get dressed; you don’t want a nice place to live, because you don’t deserve it. You won’t plan ahead, because (you think) “why should I no one cares anyway”.
Well I am here to tell you, when you care about yourself, you will care about your home and your family. Until then you are just playing make-believe and you are not fooling anyone but yourself.
This is why I stress getting up and getting dressed, first thing in the morning. You have to feel good about yourself and that doesn’t happen with messy hair, dirty slouchy clothes, unclean face and bad breath.
If I only accomplish one thing, getting you dressed in the morning and fixed up, then I have done my job. The rest will fall right into place.
When you stopped caring about yourself, you let yourself go and your home went with it. I can tell you this, because I have been there.
Now get off your bottom, got to the bathroom and clean yourself up.
For those of you that have already dressed(ALL THE WAY TO SHOES)I am
so proud of you and you understand exactly what I am talking about. For the stubborn FlyBabies who don’t see the use in it, DO IT ANYWAY! Whether you feel like it or not.
We have to do something to break this downward spiral. I am going to tell you a secret of mine. many years ago, I was severely depressed. They admitted me to the hospital, because I was suicidal. Things just kept piling on. I needed help, but I didn’t know it. A friend made me think I was helping her by going with her to her doctor. She had made the appointment for me. I saw the therapist and then the next thing I knew I was in a 10 day treatment center. It happened that fast.
I looked awful: Sweat pants, long stringy oily hair, over weight, no makeup, and a don’t care attitude. I was in a room with an airline hostess and another lady who was beautiful. My first assignment was to clean up; It was their job to give me a make-over. WOW
I never dreamed that changing a few things on the outside could make me feel so good on the inside. Now I am crying as I remember the overwhelming difference this exercise has made in my life today. I would carry myself different, I had a confidence that came from somewhere. I didn’t know where at the time. My walk had changed; along with my attitude and my spirit.
I had to go through everything to become the Marla that you have here. I am so thankful for my downs as well as my ups. Without them I would not have the tools to help you.
So you see, I know how it is to be in the pits and not care. I don’t want you to have to face this, but we all do in some form or another. I am here for you. I hope and pray that in some small way you can understand why I want to help.
{{{Hugs}}} My heart goes out to you and I want to help you FLY!
FlyLady
