FLYing in Limbo

I stop FLYing when I am in a state of limbo. Not knowing what will happen next, I dangle, waiting to decide. I can’t make plans, can’t release clutter, can’t commit, until I “know”. I make no changes. I wait for safety to make a choice. I begin nothing. I release nothing.

Limbo holds my future hostage. Patching the holes in situations that have deteriorated, I am lonely, starved for life and love. I delay decisions, unsure which direction to take. I wait and wait, to “know”.

All I ever do “know” in limbo’s wait is fear.

I understand limbo differently as I begin to FLY again. Waiting escapes the pain of letting go of the past. Fear spares me from experiencing the terror of change. When fear is my only certainty, when waiting is my only safety, I give away my decisions. I desert my own life. I am the one, holding my future hostage.

Within every moment of love, career, money, family, and health, life is changing. As one transition resolves, another takes its place. There is no safety net of certainty outside yesterday’s nest. Life’s only certainty is that life will change.

Deciding to take one small baby-step, I choose. Fear matures to courage. Waiting grows into living. Releasing what I do not “know”, I am able to decide.

I FLY into a future of limbo, I realize I can’t find safety in waiting to “know” what will happen. Safety is a decision to love myself through every change and every release.

In the midst of every limbo of life, whether the sun is rising or setting, I can decide to be safe. I can decide to FLY.

Susan Lamonica

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