I want to tell you a story about the changes that have occurred in my way of thinking since I began to really notice the negativity that was circulating in my head. This negativity was rooted deep in perfectionism.
After Robert and I married we talked about remodeling our home. I had moved into his house with all my stuff and we went to estate auctions to buy more. We had stuff everywhere. I would beat myself up because I couldn’t keep the house clean. So much so that I would punish myself and say ugly things to me. These phrases would come up over and over again. We would sit in restaurants and draw designs on napkins; then one of those negative phrases would pop into my head.
These were things that told to me by my grandmother and mother since I was a child, “You don’t deserve nice things because you…. Or why would you want that, you will only ruin it. Mother used to say to me, “I would give you this but you won’t take care of it!” As I look back on it, she was messy too and she was just parroting what her mother said to her. This has all got to stop!
For many years we have been beaten down by well meaning family members. They don’t know they are hurting us because this is all they know. The words they have said have become part of our “UNWORTHY” attitude that we have toward ourselves. We parrot them until we recognize those words for what they really are. They are NOT NICE!
They are critical and mean; and now is the time for us to dismiss them from our brains. Besides we are not stupid! We are not born with that organized gene. Our brains work differently. We may not be born organized but we can learn how to organize. It may take us longer to do some things but before you know it we will be as efficient as any born organized person. We just need to be shown in a loving way and not condemned for being different.
The problem here is that Born Organized people don’t know how they do things; these actions are instinctual for them. They just do them and they can’t understand why we can’t just do them too. I know you have heard this a thousand times.
We are worthy to be loved and to have nice things. If others won’t love us for who we are then it is up to us to love ourselves. We don’t need them to make us feel loved. We can love ourselves. The more we begin to nurture ourselves by eating good food for our bodies, drinking our water and establishing simple routines to relieve stress; the better we are going feel. This is all about taking care of yourself as if you would a baby. When we have been beaten down our whole lives it is time we took charge and do this for ourselves.
We deserve to be happy and to feel loved. No one is ever going to make us happy; we have to find happiness within ourselves. This happiness begins by releasing those negative words and phrases that we have heard our whole lives and replacing them with positive words and actions.
No one can do this for you; you have to do this for yourself. When you hear negativity in your brain parroting what you have been told; then just say Delete! Delete! Delete! Then turn those negative words into a positive affirmation to build you up! Say the positive affirmation seven times and put it on a Post-it Note to see when you walk by. Tell yourself, “I AM WORTHY! I AM LOVE! Fill in the blank! “I AM …. !”
Before you know it; you will feel your worthiness strengthen. You are worthy! I don’t ever want you to have to feel this sadness again. I just wish I could wave a magic wand and get rid of the perfectionism that is the basis for this born organized mentality.
I love you all!
P.S. We finally did remodel our home, but I had to get rid of that negativity to find the courage to do it. Getting rid of that parrot in my head was the best gift I ever gave myself.
I have been reading a great book that helps you to tap into that power that you have inside! I have shared this book with many of my friends and it is changing lives. I wish I had read it thirty years ago. It was not even written then. The message in this book is parallel to our message of FLYing! In fact the last quote on the last page made chill bumps come up all over my body! I believe the God Breezes are blowing!
“You were born with potential.
You were born with goodness and trust.
You were born with ideals and dreams.
You were born with greatness.
You were born with wings.
You are not meant for crawling, so don’t.
You have wings.
Learn to use them and fly.”
Here is the book. Wishes Fulfilled by Dr. Wayne Dyer.