Young@Heart: by Pam Young – Hooray, Hooray It’s Garbage Day!

In my notorious slob days, I missed a lot, mainly because I didn’t have a calendar in plain sight. It’s one thing to miss an appointment for a haircut, because your bangs will start blocking your vision and remind you to get in immediately. I always loved the walk-in, no appointment needed places even though I always came out of them with a look I had to get used to.

Missing garbage day however, has its own special drama. I routinely missed the event and had to suffer the consequences. On the days I actually got my garbage picked up, it often involved an embarrassing dash in my night gown, passed three or four neighbor’s homes (depending on when I’d heard the hydraulic sound of the truck compacting someone else’s refuse) trying to catch up with the truck before I heard another SHHHHHHH, an indication it was through and moving on. The driver knew me and my night gown sprint well, and I’m sure he missed the entertainment when I got a calendar and got organized.

I know from experience having two-week-old garbage in the garage is not ideal and the garbage companies add insult to a smelly garage by charging for pick-up anyway! I’m ashamed to say that in my messy past, I got away with not paying many times by lying and saying my can was out at the curb and the garbage man missed it. For your information, I’ve now relinquished the responsibility of getting the can to its pick-up place. It’s one of the pre-nup negotiations I made with Terry, my second husband.

I found out today that the disorganized can no longer lie about not taking out the can. It’s called GPS and it doesn’t stand for Garbage Pick-up Service. In this age of technology, they’re busted.

When a garbage company gets a call like, “You didn’t pick up my garbage today!” All they have to do is consult with their 24-hour GPS map and the camera mounted on the truck and they can actually see that the guy’s garbage was NOT out. I’m told that the first transgression is noted and forgiven, but if the customer continually misses garbage day and tries to lie his way out of it, it won’t work and he’s going to have to pay.

Now that you know you can be watched by the big garbage man in the sky, and you tend to miss garbage day, it might be time to look at garbage pick-up as a very special day. Celebrate it every week. Wake up with, “Hooray, hooray it’s garbage day” on your lips and while you’re at it, why not dress for the occasion, prepare a special meal and use the fine china? After all, garbage pick-up day is really an opportunity to put your past behind you and with an empty can, start over with a clean slate.

Here are a couple of organizing tips about your garbage. Have fish the day before garbage pick-up day so any leftovers don’t get a chance to stink up your home or garage. If you have a garbage container under your kitchen sink, use a plastic garbage bag with a drawstring and empty it often. I love the bags Costco sells. Let emptying the garbage remind you to let go of the past and live in the freshness of now.

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