FLYing Through Two Tough Years

Love is a VerbDear FlyLady,

I have been following you for about two years now. They have been two very tough years. I have severe depression and needed to go through ECT treatment last summer. I have group therapy weekly, see my personal therapist weekly and see my psychiatrist monthly.  Things seem to be improving. I was told to not go back to work and I have been approved for social security disability and I had a long term disability plan at work so while I am not making what I was before I am still making enough to put some by each month.

My personal therapist smiles when ever I quote you. I have also forwarded several of your email that talk about FLY. She loved the December monthly mission of pampering ourselves and had me make a list of 31 different things I can do to pamper myself.

She loves the morning and bedtime routines and the office in a bag that contains My control Journal. I don’t have your office in a bag as I found a portfolio at thrift store that had a built in 3 ring binder and the pockets I need. The handles are opposite the rings so even if I don’t have it zipped I am not going to be dropping items. This journal has the extra items I need to have with me for using my DBT Skills. I have my crisis check list in there.  As well as a check list to try and catch me before I can  spiral down. It is the control journal I need for me.

A year ago is when I had to stop work. It has been a difficult shift for me but my company has been wonderful as I am treated as if I had taken early retirement from the company. I miss work. I know that I had let perfectionism take over my life. I could not complete any task to the level I though it should be done. I was mentally beating myself up continually.  I had become my hardest task master and was not FLY. I am working on this and letting go of perfectionism.

I am crocheting a baby blanket and I know there is a mistake near the beginning of it. I am almost done and fighting with myself to fix it but it does not detract from it being a lovely blanket. It is meant to be one that is used and that one small error does not make it useless.

Thank you for being there. You do not know how much of a true life saver you have been for me. Some days I can only do my morning and bedtime routines but I know that is fine because tomorrow I can jump right in where I am.

FlyBaby B

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