This Is Why I Fly

Dear FlyLady,

This is why I FLY.

First let me give you a glimpse of life pre-FlyLady (this will be familiar to a lot of other SHEs):

At work, I was a hyper-organized perfectionist.  At home I was in CHAOS.  Clutter everywhere, clothes all over the floor.  It wasn’t dirty, but it was so messy I couldn’t find anything.  The first room I rented away from home, my landlady actually came into my room and shoved everything into plastic bags because she couldn’t stand it anymore, even though I always kept my door closed.  I was humiliated.

I would wake up exhausted 15 minutes before I had to be at work because I had stayed up late the night before (often reading self-help books to try and get Keep Calm myself together), roll out of bed, try to find the least wrinkled pair of pants and sweater (I wore a lot of polyester), and rush to work, arriving 5 minutes late.  I’d have a hard time functioning until my first break, when I could get a cup of coffee.  Lunch time:  drive-through the closest fast food restaurant.  Dinner:  go to a restaurant with my boyfriend or fast food.  I gained a lot of weight in a short period of time and my health deteriorated.  Bills were lost and late fees accumulated.  I had to explain to my first apartment roommate why the power got turned off and scramble to get it turned back on.  Humiliated again.  I was ashamed and didn’t understand why I worked so hard, tried so hard, and still couldn’t manage to run my life.  I would buy stuff I didn’t need just to make myself feel better.  I desperately hoped for a solution and would buy or check organizing books out of the library, each time hoping this would be it.  What I didn’t understand was that reading the books wasn’t going to help me.  I had to actually DO something and be consistent about it.  This kind of struggle went on for years with my self-esteem plummeting.

I’ll never forget the day in 2002 when your name was mentioned in a forum or article I was reading online.  I went to your website and was skeptical because I had tried so many things before.  But you seemed so certain that you could help me.  ME who was “overwhelmed, overextended and overdrawn.”  ME who was “hopeless and didn’t know where to start.”  “Don’t worry, friend, we’ve been there too,” you said.  I was willing to try anything, so I began with great excitement.  For the first time, I had real HOPE.

I ordered your book, “Sink Reflections,” and dove in.  Let’s skim over the years in between, which were full of stops and starts, the ending of an abusive relationship, the attainment of a degree, becoming a mom, health issues and a lot of changes.  FlyLady was there for me through it all, giving me HOPE, being that mommy figure always with an encouraging word and a stern talking to when I needed it.

Fast forward to today.  My life is definitely not perfect.  But I have emptied out two storage units of clutter and still working on it daily.  My kitchen and bathroom are always clean.  I have implemented simple daily routines for myself and DD.  I eat breakfast, drink water, get to work on time wearing clean, wrinkle-free clothes.  My bills are paid, credit card debt paid off, and I even have money in savings!  I cook at home and rarely eat out.  My health has improved.  Most importantly, I see myself as a person of great worth and dignity.  This has come about by establishing simple routines, practicing them consistently and building on them slowly.

I have written you many testimonials over the years, and I’m sorry for writing another one.  You are probably tired of hearing from me!  I know I am only one of so many FlyBabies.  But next to my faith and my family, you have had the most influence on my life for the good.  And for that, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Much love,
Flybaby CK in Idaho

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