It Just Hit Me

Dear FlyLady,You and I have to have a talk.

I was never taught how to keep a house. When I was about to get married I knew that I had to do something! I did a search for cleaning, and lo and behold found you.

I have been with you since 2009. I was going along pretty good at first. But then, yep you guessed it, I crashed and burned big time. Two moves and a baby within a year made me put you on the back burner. Yeah, I kept getting the emails but I just deleted them without reading them.

Fast forward five years, and I had severe depression and anxiety after having my second daughter. I was short with my kids and my husband. I was miserable and my house showed it. I didn’t want to do anything! One day I opened your email, and I when I got to the bottom and read “you’re not behind just jump in where you are” really hit me. I realized that I couldn’t keep going on with blinders on. I decided one more time to give the system a try.

So I started. I didn’t really understand it… I mean how can you get a house clean by just shining your sink??!?! Ok… yeah I liked the way that it looked. How can you get a house clean by dressing to your lace up shoes?? Yeah… Ok… it made me feel like doing something, and actually saved my poor little toes once or twice.

Then I got to creating my control journal. I’m not going to lie, it was overwhelming!! I could feel my perfectionism rearing its ugly head, and I could feel my anxiety growing with each step! It had to be perfect, it had to look a certain way! Then I heard your voice in my head… babysteps just one step at a time. So when I started getting anxious I would take a step back, and just go play with my babies or read an email.

But last night was my breakthrough moment. I have religiously read your emails since I started. No more seeing FlyLady and feeling guilt while I pushed the delete button without reading your words of wisdom. Now I feel like they are the water that keeps me from getting dehydrated. I keep reading these emails where you and other flybabies are saying “soap is soap!” What? That can’t be right. No I’m going to need more than that just to get my counters clean, my toilet clean, and definitely NOT my shower! Well last night during my shower I heard your voice again, saying “soap is soap!” I have this one spot on my wall that just gets under my skin every time I get into my shower. So, I thought well… why not can’t hurt. She can’t be right. So I grabbed a rag that I use for my girls and grabbed some shampoo and started wiping. Lo and behold… oh my goodness it was coming off! It was working! Oh my goodness… soap IS soap! I had to remind myself to only do a little, because I wanted to clean the whole shower!

I want to thank you for all that you do for us. We just found out that my oldest DD is autistic. There have been a lot of doctors appointments, meetings with therapists, and lots and LOTS of paperwork. I have been drowning under it all! But, after last night I feel like I can do it. I can be that advocate that my daughter needs. I can keep house and be the mother that my girls deserve and the wife that my husband deserves. No longer do I have therapists coming over and the entire session I feel dread because my house is such a mess. You truly are amazing, and you have given me this great gift that I can’t ever repay.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!

With love,
Jessica in SC

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