I am writing to you in a state of semi-shock. For at least 10 years I believed myself to be a failed FlyBaby. I was just too SHE for any system to work. I would start out with the best of intentions — at least twice a year — and crash and burn within 2 days. Of course, I did not do what I was told because I did not need all that babystep stuff, I was mature and could just dive in to full fledged routines and zones, right? WRONG. About 10 days ago, well, exactly 10 days ago (and I know this because I am on Babystep 10), I was so desperate that it occurred to me that maybe if I would do it the way I was told, instead of what my impulsive, disorganized brain was telling me, the system would work. I had nothing to lose.
Tonight at 7pm, my Before Bed Routine alarm sounded, and I hopped up and went into the kitchen and finished loading the dishwasher and shined my sink. Unheard of, 10 days ago. Then I walked into my bedroom, looked at my calendar (on my iPhone, which works best for me) and put out my clothes for tomorrow, based on what I am doing tomorrow. Unheard of, 10 days ago. When I realized what I had done, I felt a little weird. A lot weird. Instead of feeling resentful, deprived, or bad, I felt good! I wanted that shiny sink. I wanted those clothes laid out. It was my choice, not something being imposed on me.
My temptation to jump into big lists of routines and cleaning dwindles. I am now a true believer that BabySteps are the only way I am going to get this, and even enjoy the process. I am following the 31 BabySteps carefully. If it says declutter for 2 minutes, I do not do 3. I shine my sink when I am supposed to. I am actually excited about slowly adding to my routines so that they become automatic and I do not have to look at lists as often.
I feel like the universe sort of smacked me upside the head with a 2×4, in a nice way, and said, “Listen to these people who have what you want, and you can have it, too!” Thank you, dear FlyLady, for what you are doing for us SHEs.