What would you think of a store that catered to SHEs? Of course it’d have to be open 24/7 because we lose track of time and we wouldn’t want to get there and have it be closed. Also, they’d have a cloth shopping bag swap (try to say that fast) so there’d always be a good supply of shopping bags in case you left yours in the car. In the event you remembered, you could bring in several for the good of the SHE.
This SHE store wouldn’t sell anything shiny or we’d get distracted from what we went in there to buy in the first place, and whatever the store sold, it’d only provide two choices of each product, because we get easily overwhelmed by too many choices.
It’d stock items like diaries that only have 14 pages; just for January, because SHEs never fill out their diaries and they waste all those pages made for the rest of the year. So guilt ensues.
SHEs love to “start” new projects, but in about 14 days most projects lose their juice, so this SHE store would not sell yarn to knit or crochet more than a small hat or a pair of baby’s booties. It would NOT sell patterns for sweaters or enough yarn to produce them.
This awesome store would have a clothing selection of wrinkle-free garments that could serve as nightwear and daywear. Like the basic, little, black dress that can be dressed up or down depending on the occasion, these garments would be comfortable, whether you were up or down and they wouldn’t look like sleepwear even though they could be worn for sleep.
The SHE store would sell timers that have laughter as the sound to replace the “ding.” SHEs love to laugh and these timers would keep us remembering that we are here to be joyful, not to be organized. Of course the store would sell two different watches and two choices of calendars too.
This store would have a whole line of “Tardy Cards,” beautiful cards that apologize for missing everything from birthdays and anniversaries to weddings and graduations, no matter how long ago they happened.
Sample: A very belated high school graduation card:
HEY HIGH SCHOOL GRAD!
Congrats on your graduation from college,
law school and
your successful law firm!
Keep up the good work!
We’re proud of you.
SHEs could buy head gear that horses wear in parades. They’re called blinders and they’d keep the SHE from being distracted by anything except what’s right in front of her. (They’d be great for doing all the boring household chores.)
ALSO AVAILABLE, retractable chords attached to a tasteful belt for attaching items SHEs tend to lose, such as pens, keys, glasses, cell phone, clicker, and scissors just to mention a few. It would be similar to a carpenter’s tool belt.
At the SHE store you could buy a legal book that takes you step-by-step in qualifying to receive compensation for your disorder.
There’d be an honor policy in case you left your purse at home and couldn’t pay upon check out. There’d also be a place to drop your kids off while you shop, but you’d have to wear an ankle bracelet, so in case you accidentally left without them, the attendant would be notified before you got to your car.
The parking lot would be a spiral labyrinth, so when you came out to look for your car, you’d only walk in the spiral and not waste hours going up and down rows of cars to find yours.
I can just imagine a chain of SHE Stores across the nation, but I’m afraid we’d find it quite boring, mainly because we like shiny and there’s something cool about the way we are and I’m not sure we really want to fix it.