Young@Heart: It’s Selfish To Do It All Yourself

Have you ever helped someone clean up their mess and then came home to your own chaos, that’s bigger than your friend’s mess? In Mathew 7, 3 – 5 he says, “How can you say to your brother, “You hypocrite. Let me take the speck out of your eye, when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?” Matthew sure didn’t mince words in those days! But you have to remember, Matthew was a man and Mother Nature did NOT endow any man with mother’s instinct, so Matthew didn’t understand how we are drawn to help those who need us, in spite of our own messes. We’re helpocrites.

As a helpocrite, it’s very important to understand your motivation behind helping others to the detriment of your own well-being. Is there part of you that thinks, ‘I gotta get out of here, my house is a mess and I don’t want to be here.’ And another part of you thinks, ‘I want her to be happy and she needs help and I love to help people.’ And yet another part of you thinks, ‘I want her to like me and when she sees what I can do to make her feel better, she’ll like me better.’

Here’s the deal, take care of you first and then take care of others. Here’s why. Once you’re in balance by getting enough rest, recreation and work, you’ll be healthy mentally and physically and you’ll be able to help 10 times more than you did while the plank was in your eye.

Because most of us are caregivers by nature (mother’s instinct) we carry that message, to care for others, in our DNA. Because of that, it’s not easy for us to ask for help. Have you ever considered that not asking for help is selfish? Because you’re reading this blog, you’re interested in getting and being organized and you’re probably in a mess and need help. It is what you need and chances are you can think of a BO (friend or relative or even acquaintance) who is dying to help somebody like you. But wait a minute! You’re embarrassed. How can you open your home to someone and thereby let them see your dirty little secret?

You have to humble yourself and ask for help from those who are gifted in areas you’re not, and that’s when you’ll see why it’s selfish not to ask. When you see the joy the helper takes, you’ll see how we all need each other for the skills we’ve uniquely been given.

Because “Sidetracked Home Executives: from pigpen to paradise” was a best-seller, it exposed my sister and me to hundreds of thousands of people who were struggling to create clean, cozy homes out of their chaos. It was an honor to hear from thousands who said the book was an answer to prayer. (That’s because when we wrote the book, we prayed every morning before we picked up our pens (we wrote it in longhand on legal pads.) asking to be guided to write from our hearts to our reader’s hearts.

When you pray for help you do get it, then it’s up to you to use it.

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