Holiday Anxiety

Dear Friends,

The holidays are just around the corner. You have been working very hard to get everything in place for your family to come to your home. Some of you have started to worry about those perfectionist in your family who will be staying in with you. The anxiety is starting to creep into your mind and you don’t know what do it about that.

I am here to tell you that you can’t change those people. They are always going to be perfectionist and they are always going to be critical of anything you do. The only thing you have control over is how you react or shall I say, DON’T REACT to them. Yes you heard me right. Let’s start with all this PRE-REACTION; I am going to call it worry!

Did you know that when you worry; you really set yourself up to fail? You are thinking that the worst thing can happen. What you think about; you bring about. I want you to stop this type of thinking right now. It is just stinkin’ thinkin’. Accept the fact that they are going to be picky.

On October 1, I started a study of Saint Therese. She was a little sidetracked person. She too was concerned about how people would perceive her. Her life was filled with perfectionists. It was these perfectionists who gave her the road to sainthood. Her way was called the Little Way. I am not catholic but I love to study people. She was one person who was put in front of me. I believe that we are all saints in our own way.

All Therese could do was change the way she reacted to their comments. Instead of getting defensive and starting an argument; she would keep loving them in her little way. She would defuse their negative comments by loving gestures of service. She did not go hide in her room and cry; feeling sorry for herself. She would thank them and bless them with a kind word.

There are some people in our lives in which we will never be good enough. You know those folks. They are always going to find fault. I don’t care if your home is the cleanest it has ever been; there will be something to complain about. It is up to you when you hear their negative comments that you let them flow over you. Just as if you were in a bubble. Imagine yourself being protected by this bubble. You really do have a bubble. It is your love.

I think Therese just killed them with kindness. She took her little way of deflecting nasty behavior and showed the world that there is another way. She prayed to change her attitude toward them. That is all any of us can do.

So instead of sitting in your rocking chair of worry projecting all the negative things that are going to be said to you; come up with ways to bless that person. It is sort of like redirecting a baby when they are getting into something.

1. Put on their favorite music
2. Make a cup of tea
3. Ask for their help
4. Go for a walk
5. Say a prayer to bless them and to shut your mouth
6. Compliment them
7. Just keep doing what you are doing and don’t acknowledge their comment
8. Light a candle and say a silent prayer.  Use tea lights; they burn for 4 hours
9. Get them to read a story to your babies
10. Put on your favorite music and sing.
11. If all else fails hand them a purple rag and ask them to clean the windows in your doors. They will be blown away at how good they are with just plain water. LOL

You can do this. It is all about changing your heart. You are never going to change them. They are who they are. All you can do is change your reaction to them. Your holiday season is going to be much more pleasant when you practice doing this. You will be so surprised at how easy it really is when you let go of your anger toward them, your martyrdom at being treated this way, and your resentment. Whenever you find yourself projecting by worrying about this; the write down two things you can do for them. Keep that list handy in your phone or control journal. Refer to it often.

Are you ready to FLY through the holidays with love in your heart? Isn’t that what the holidays are all about anyway? God so loved the world that he sent his son.

FlyLady

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