My Husband Was A FlyGuy

 Hi FlyLady,

I remember the first time I went to my husband’s apartment. He was a FlyGuy and I loved visiting his clean apartment. Then I moved in with my two dogs….My parents had children young and didn’t have any routines. They did the best they could and I think my sister and I are pretty amazing in everything except cleaning. I’ve been messy my whole life and procrastinate in cleaning to maybe once a month.Now combine me with my ultra clean husband and after a week I was ready to move out. He would follow me and clean up my messes. As you can imagine we had some growing pains but we have reached a happy medium after two years of living together. However, now when I come into our apartment I no longer get that clean and excited feeling to be home. Our apartment is cleaner than my childhood home ever was but not as clean as the way I remember when we stared dating.

I want that feeling back but what should I do? I didn’t want to ask my husband to “train me”, I could only imagine that would be a nightmare, then I stumbled onto your website after reading an article online about helpful organizational websites. I started reading the emails and they get me excited to clean.

A lifetime of putting off cleaning and now I’m excited to clean! I’m in my thirties, work full time at a high demanding finance job, go to school part-time and help with my nephew regularly so I’m getting off to a slow start but a start none the less. I’m listening to your advice to not be perfect and jump in where I can. I have flash cards in my bathroom with my daily morning and evening routines, I bought a day planner for my schedule and I have bleach in my sink as I write this message.

I didn’t tell my husband what I was trying to do until yesterday and I had him read your email about being on empty and explained to him I felt like I was the one always waiting until I was on empty to fulfill my needs which left me regularly in a stressed state whereas he was filling up regularly. My father lived in much of the same way as me and died at forty. I cried, he listened and wants to help. I’m a lucky lady to have such a supportive husband and now I’m even more fortunate after finding you!!

Thank you for all you do and for encouraging all us fly babies. I hope to be a FlyLady soon and one day teach my children these tools like my mother-in-law taught my husband. You’re useful tips have already reduced my stress level and I’m hopeful it’ll only get better with time. Thank you for saving my life, one little babystep as a time.

A truly grateful fly baby, Tiffany from Hollywood California


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