Lighten Your Load

Dear Friends,

I can’t change the role society has put on women any more than I can change how we were taught that we could have it all. Women have always been the caretakers of the home, but now we are also the breadwinners. I know how hard it is to juggle those roles.

But there is something that I can change in each of you. I can help you get rid of the anger and frustration that comes from living in a CHAOTic home. We all feel that if we had more help that our homes would stay clean. Most of us can’t afford a full time house keeper, if we could, we would have hired one long ago.

Each of us deserves to live in a clean home. Many of us grew up in the 60’s and 70’s with the women’s liberation movement. Well let me tell you, I have blazed a few trails in my life for women as farmers, fisherman, county commissioners, and in small business. Yet my toilet still needs to be cleaned, dishes need to be washed, and clothes have to be laundered. These things don’t happen by magic, someone has to do them. Sitting around whining that you don’t have any help from your family is not going to get the job done. If it does get done what example have you set for your family: A fussy mom who is never any fun. How would it be if you were single or a widow with small children? Who would you whine at then?

I get emails all the time that accuse me of telling women that they have to be slaves to their families. Our attitudes make us slaves, not the work we do. Being a slave is not at all what I teach. I train people to let go of their anger and take care of their homes in love for their family. As a result of this change in attitude; they quit nagging their family and all of a sudden the kids start helping, the husband starts picking up after himself, and guess what everyone is taking care of their home together! All because the mother started setting the example in love!

Love is an amazing tool! When you can clean a toilet because you love your family; it is no longer a nasty chore! Someone has to do it! Your routines keep it from getting so dirty that it isn’t that big of deal anyway! A swish and a swipe and the bathroom is clean.

Attitudes of keeping score and whose turn is it anyway go out the window! All they do is harbor resentment and anger. If I can help you to see that we can have it all and do it all, just like we were told during our feminist upbringing; then you let go of the frustration, self-hatred, and anger that have been holding you down. The frustration comes from not being able to get it all done and not being able to afford a housekeeper. The self-hatred invades us when we are so stressed because we can’t do it all. We see others that seem to be handling it just fine and the anger takes over our hearts and souls. We start blaming others because we can’t seem to have this perfect picture of home the way we were lead to believe. But we really can HAVE IT ALL if we will establish simple routines!

The problem with the feminist movement was we were taught that we deserved it and demanded that it be given to us regardless of the effort we put into it, but no one ever told us how to do it. So how did we expect our toilets to get clean? If no one did it, it was not going to get done. Then we stamped our foot like a child throwing a fit! That action gets us lots of respect doesn’t it. The cry from a child that doesn’t get its way falls on deaf ears. It is only when we set the example and show your family that you are not too good for honest work that you will get them to help the way you have always wanted.

For every action there is an opposite and equal reaction. I know you don’t believe me, but if you will step out in faith and just try on this new way of thinking, you might actually begin to see changes in your attitude and the attitudes of your family. You are going to be surprised by the reactions you get.

I want for you what I have, Peace and this peace came from letting go of destructive thinking patterns and trying something different. After all if you keep doing it the way you always have, how can you expect a change. By throwing out those attitudes and replacing them with the love, you will be lifted higher!

Are you ready to FLY?

FlyLady

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