Finding Comfort In Routines

Dearest FlyLady,*Purple puddle warning*

I have just gone through one of the hardest things a person can ever experience.  I lost my husband of 17 years on 6/6/14.  I had been attempting to fly for a while but my fluttering seemed to be hit or miss most of the time.  After my husband’s death, it really took a nosedive.  I started to really sink deeper and deeper into chaos, to the point that my sister was really concerned about me.  I have to admit, I was a bit concerned about me too.  What was I going to do after the memorial service and when everyone left?I had an AHA moment on the morning of the memorial.

I was sitting at the table with my coffee finishing up small details of the service.    Then it hit me.  I needed to get back into my routines.  I thought of them as a much needed comfort during this time.  I needed to start with shining my sink.  That wouldn’t solve all my problems but it would be a start.  I went back and read the “How to” I zeroed in on a couple things.   I needed to have a smile on my face first thing in the morning.  I also needed the big hug, no you couldn’t be there to give me the hug in person but just the having something for my hands to do and to accomplish something IS the much needed hug and pat on the back.  I also didn’t need judgment or the “finger in my face.”

Thank you for always encouraging all of us to just jump in where we are, that we are not behind.The other thing that hit me, the big AHA moment was that we can do anything for 15 minutes.  It seems so simple but I applied it to that I can get through these next 15 minutes without my loving husband.  Then it would get a bit easier with each additional 15 minutes.  Please note that this does not mean that I do not grieve or miss him terribly but just that I CAN survive and go on.  I can and will go on because we have 3 teenage boys still at home that deserve a home free of clutter and chaos.  They deserve a mom that can FLY.Again, thank you for always being there and for the gentle nudges and encouragement.Adrienne in Texas

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