I Need Help Getting Rid of a Bad Habit

Dear FlyLady,

I am a brand new FlyBaby just introduced to your website last week.  I need advice about how to overcome a very bad habit that occurs in my both my personal life and my professional life.  I am chronically showing up late for work and for social events.  I am a 41 year old college educated professional with a successful career.  This habit has been following me around for over 20 years and I need help to stamp it out for good but I just don’t know how.  I’m wondering if you can write something that would help me to work on shaking this bad habit.  I find this bad habit to embarrassing and humiliating, yet despite those feelings I still struggle to make it happen.


New FlyBaby in Minnesota

Dear New FlyBaby,

Being late all the time is a passive aggressive kick in the face to everyone who is waiting for you! It is disrespectful and unkind. It is a way for you to control everyone around you. It is time to stop this!

Your perfectionism is also the culprit. You tell yourself, “I just have to do one more thing!” If you will let go of your perfectionism you may find that you are not longer being passive aggressive.

My mother was like this. We were always late to school and church! It was embarrassing for me! I have never really been embarrassed by anything else. Robert’s first wife was habitually late too. I have been determined to never drag around and make us late.

Last weekend was his 50th High School Class Reunion. So a few days before we synchronized our watches. We needed to meet a friend in Asheville, NC and I volunteered to drive. At that point I took over the plan for getting there and made all the arrangements.

We left our house at 3:00pm, met our friend at 4:00 and arrived at the event by 5:30. We were not the first people there but we had plenty of time to socialize. It was a relaxed drive. We were not late and rushing! We even got home by midnight!

Most accidents happen when we are rushing! Stop doing this to yourself.



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