I just received an email from a member that is a God Breeze.
Here is her message:
This weekend I thanked my husband for putting up with me during my slob days and he said that it was okay, he just slept through it. Here I was, angry at him for sleeping late and not spending time in the family room, but staying in bed watching TV. He was doing it because of ME! Instead of griping about the house, he just ignored it. I hadn’t even noticed that he HAS been getting up earlier and doing more things with us. And we, too, are falling back in love. It is amazing what clutter can do. And it’s amazing what happens when the clutter is not there!
FlyLady Here: I don’t want any email complaining that this fellow should have gotten up to help her. Clutter effects us all even our guys; He didn’t know where to start any more than she did.
Clutter hurts our marriages. It effects the way we feel about ourselves and make us sluggish.
When our homes are filled with clutter, we just want to flee. We do everything in our power to not have to look at it.
Here are some things we do.
We hide out in the bed, so we don’t have to see it.
We leave the house for the day and don’t come home until late.
We volunteer for things to keep us out of the house. A busy person, does not have time to clean and declutter. This give you an excuse.
When you walk in the door after a day of running around, facing the clutter, stops you dead in your tracks. Since you don’t know where to start, you do nothing.
Clutter sucks the energy right out of you.
This is why I have urged you to shine your sink. Just seeing one small area that is clean and clutter free, gives you the energy to do more. Thousands of you are finally believing me.
The same way that clutter tends to grow in our hotspots, clutter free areas are contageous too. With just a small area clean, you will begin to clean and clear the areas surrounding your bright spot.
Keep your counters clear as you cook. Don’t let things pile up. Clean up after each dish prepared. Fill your sink with fresh hot soapy water each time it gets dirty and cold. Put out clean dish towels and dish cloths.
When you get an area clean. Declare it a clutter free zone. Use your hot spot preventions twice daily to keep them clear of clutter.
Now let’s discuss what happens to our husbands and children when the house is cluttered.
As you read in the testimonial. Her husband hid in the bedroom. Sleeping late. This was his place of refuge. As a result of him protecting himself from the clutter, she felt abandoned. Their lines of communication had been broken because clutter was pushing them apart. You all know about this.
Look at what happens with your children. With clutter everywhere, they have a problem sitting still. Yes, I sincerely believe that clutter effects our ability to focus. This is a downward spiral.
Clutter keeps us from focusing, this lack of focus contributes to more clutter and chaos and then we get depressed and want to hide, and then just gets worse and we become hermits. All the while our children are seeing our lack of structure and discipline. They do not want to mind us, when we tell them to clean their room. Why should they? Our room is not clean. We are not setting the proper example. You will find that when you set this example, even just in one area, you will begin to see a change in your children. They will be more willing to help, when they see you doing something. Also the children are just wanting attention! When our homes are cluttered, the stress of needing to do something, anything to get them clean, paralyzes us, so we do nothing. Our focus is on the clutter and not on our children.
Can you see this. So our poor children are just wanting us to notice them for a while. So they make an even bigger mess. Any attention even negative, is better than no attention. Then you yell and get upset with yourself for being a bad Mom.
This vicious cycle has got to stop.
Now hear this. You are not a Bad Mom. We have allowed the enemy CLUTTER to invade our territory. It is time to take back our homes and find the peace that I know is there. You will know this too, when you clean one small area of the clutter and keep it clear.
This victory will be yours and your whole family will celebrate.
You will see the difference.
Now go get dressed and put your shoes on, fix your hair and face. Start your day.
Sorry this is so long. But you know God Breezes. He was just long winded this morning.