Column 20 – Perfectionism is not a Virtue: by The FlyLady, Marla Cilley

When we least expect it, perfectionism reaches out and knocks us in the head. It keeps us from following our hearts desire and stops us dead in our tracks. Perfectionism triggers procrastination. This is when we tell ourselves; we don’t have time to do it right so we do nothing. We have all suffered with this affliction.

We all have had dreams and those dreams were tossed aside because we told ourselves that we would never be good enough to accomplish this. Those words were heard coming out of other people’s mouths at first and then we began to parrot them. We do not have to listen to those negative words any longer. It is time that we quieted those voices and replaced them with loving words of encouragement.

Loving yourself is about building yourself up and not shutting your creativeness down. All our lives we were chastised for being spontaneous and a dreamer. We have the ability in ourselves to follow our dreams if we will quit listening to the perfectionism that lurks in those negative voices that haunt us. We have a gift to give the world. It is a gift of creativity and making that gift is filled with joy.

Do you remember as a child doing something for your mother and spending hours working on it? When you were conceiving the idea, putting your secret plan into action and then presenting the gift, you were filled with great joy. You never expected to have your little dreams dashed by a perfectionist mother who only found the flaws in your work.

After that our little hearts only heard those voices. Our minds recreated them and keep on perpetuating that abuse with everything we thought about doing. It didn’t take long for those words to be part of our daily thrashing. I know that this is hard to think about, but when we look at what happened in our childhood and forgive those who hurt us, we can begin our journey toward our dreams.

Those dreams have been force down so far in our minds that we can hardly remember them. As you begin to quiet those voices you will start finding them again. Loving yourself is about recognizing when you hear those voices and putting a stop to them. You are wondering just how to do this. This is what we loving refer to as FLY Washing.

When you hear yourself say a negative statement in your mind or even out loud, I want you to turn that statement around and put a positive spin on it. Then say it back to yourself seven times. For example, I will never get anything accomplished, I get so sidetracked. Turn that around to say, I am a creative person and I have great ideas. I can learn how to be organized it takes babysteps!

Today as you follow your routines be aware of the conversations you are having with yourself. Recognize the harsh ones and gently turn them into a loving positive affirmation. This is what FLYing is all about!

Finally Loving Yourself is the gift you give the world!

For more help getting rid of your CHAOS, check out her website and join her free mentoring group at www.FlyLady.net or her book, Sink Reflections published by Random House and her New York Times Best Selling book, Body Clutter published by Simon and Schuster. Copyright 2011 Marla Cilley Used by permission in this publication.

FlyLady.net "This is FlyLady's List that has grown by leaps and bounds..." Copyright 2001 - 2014 FlyLady and Company, Inc.