Column 28 – A Storm’s a Brewing by the FlyLady, Marla Cilley

The storm is a brewing and it is not in the Caribbean; it is in your head. That storm has caused our thoughts to blow wildly in every direction and they become a vicious cycle that plays havoc with our head, homes, families and your business.

Have you ever lost your wallet and began searching for it in a frenzy? You know this feeling of not being in control and running around. The Frenzy started before you lost your wallet. The frenzy is the reason you lost your wallet in the first place. That frenzy is the storm in your head. My goal is to teach you how to calm this storm before it destroys your life, home and business.

We are such control freaks. We don’t want anyone to know that our thoughts are not under control. If people really know how chaotic your thoughts were they would know you didn’t have it together. This is why some of us can keep it together at work and our home suffers. There are others who can keep their home looking nice but their thoughts are still turmoil. The constant churning of their thoughts; keeps them feeling out of control (which they are).

I can give you all the tools to calm the storm on the outside but if you have not controlled your thoughts you are not going to feel the peace that comes with your routines. In fact you may even sabotage that peace because it feels so strange. After all we have prided ourselves in being able to juggle many balls at one time. This is not virtue; it is a cover up so that no one will really know what is going on inside your head. You think this makes you look organized when really it is only making you look like you have it all together so no one will question you.

That storm that is going on in our brains is fueled with self-doubt, perfectionism, guilt, martyrdom and shame. We are not prepared to deal with this storm so we ignore it. In fact it feels normal to us. We have always been this way. We have pushed and pushed trying to do more and more and all we ever do is get further behind and racing to catch up. We have to stop the race and get off of the track to be able to see what we are going to ourselves.

My greatest frustration comes from not being able to articulate this to you in words what will allow you to see what you are doing to yourself. I just want you to be still for a minute. This means to stop your brain from spinning and calm yourself down.

Back to that wallet being lost; that frenzy we are in causes us to make many mistakes. It is only after we stop ourselves that we are able to find it right in front of our own eyes. We had been overlooking it because when that frenzy takes over our heads we lose our senses. We can’t think, we don’t see, we are not listening and we are on guard that no one knows this is happening to us. It is our perfectionism once again but this was happening before you lost the wallet.

When I start feeling this way I have learned to recognize it pretty fast. My body has been calm for a long time. I have my routines in place to prevent this from happening to me. Occasionally this feeling will come up. Now when I am feeling like I don’t know what to do next. I stop all that I am doing and spend 5 minutes making a plan. It is when I am not prepared that this feeling happens. I take those 5 short minutes and take my foot off my accelerator and quit fueling the storm. When you remove the fuel the storm or fire will go out. HEY we can think straight instead of a vicious cycle of swirling thoughts.

It may be hard for you to recognize this storm because your life has always been in turmoil. This is why I gave you the 11 Commandments. I want you to begin to experience moments of calm so that when you are in a frenzy you will know how to get back to that moment and use it to quiet the raging winds and waves that are causing you to lose your mind.

Be Still and the peace will come. Quiet your mind by sitting down. The more you get in a hurry the worse the feeling is going to be. Slow down and set a priority to what has to be done. Do one thing at a time! Not 15 things. You can do this.

We have to get back to why you are in this frenzy in the first place though. Establishing simple routines is going to help you be prepared for the storm when it does come. These routines give you the tools to stop the frenzy before it starts. Are you dressed to shoes? Have you laid out your clothes for tomorrow? Have you eaten today? Have you had your water? Have you taken a break today? Do you have the TV on, stereo and the computer? Has the noise become more clutter in your home that keeps you from having to hear the storm in your brain?

Find your QUIET place! Take a time out for you to calm yourself and focus on what needs to be done next; Not the 15 things that are spinning in your brain. This is what you do with your quiet time; Prioritize those 15 things on a piece of paper and then you have a plan. Start with first things first and move down your list. The five minutes you spend in your quiet place will calm this storm and give you the tools to stop the wind from blowing to the land of CHAOS and Frenzy. You can do this. Quiet yourself!

Are you ready to FLY with a plan for preparedness in any storm of life?

For more help getting rid of your CHAOS, check out her website and join her free mentoring group at www.FlyLady.net or her book, Sink Reflections published by Random House and her New York Times Best Selling book, Body Clutter published by Simon and Schuster. Copyright 2011 Marla Cilley Used by permission in this publication.

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