Column 3 – Is Your Armor Keeping You Down? By the FlyLady, Marla Cilley

Have you been wearing your heart on your sleeve? Do you perceive that you have been wronged in some way by others? Are you wearing all the wrongs like a cloak of armor? Have these wrongs been the foundation for your whining? Are they what have kept you from FLYing? Armor is heavy stuff! When we blame others we need to look closely at our own actions. This is why we tell you that this is a NO WHINING ZONE!

Tribes used to sacrifice a poor innocent goat for their sins. They would heap all their sins on the scapegoat and send it out into the wilderness. Have all the wrongs been heaped upon you! Do you feel like the scapegoat? Are you acting like a martyr?

Have you been hoarding these wrongs? This is just like we do with clutter, we hold on to things past their usefulness. When we get our feelings hurt it is best to discuss it as soon as possible. The longer it festers the worse it is on you! Are you hearing this? The person who has wronged you may not even know they have done anything to hurt your feelings or they may not even care. If you dont talk about it and clear the air; you will be the only one suffering. Discussing the wrong will let you know two things; they are mean and need to be prayed for, or they didnt know they had hurt your feelings and they apologize. Either way you have released the wrong and it is no longer being hoarded.

Some of you are going to argue that it is not easy to forgive and forget. If you notice, I didnt say forget! When a snake shows its fangs this is a warning! If you pick that snake up and put it in your pocket; whose fault is it when you get bitten. Forgiveness is the gift, you give yourself.

You get what you give! But if you give in order to get, you will always be left wanting! At the start of this New Year let’s symbolically take off that armor of wrongs! Put each wrong on a Post-It Note. Imagine that you peel each wrong off your sleeve and put it in an old pie pan. Then take it outside or put it in your fire place and put a match to them. As you watch your wrongs (the ones you have been hoarding) go up in smoke send a prayer of gratitude up with it! Be thankful that you no longer have to hold on to this and thankful that now you know!

Leanne and I also have a whole chapter in our book, Body Clutter devoted to forgiveness. I just listened to our new audio version. This chapter is powerful!

My wish for you in this New Year is that you release the wrongs by forgiving others and yourself and open up your wings to FLY!

For more help getting rid of your CHAOS, check out her website and join her free mentoring group at or her book, Sink Reflections published by Random House and her New York Times Best Selling book, Body Clutter published by Simon and Schuster. Copyright 2011 Marla Cilley Used by permission in this publication. Helping women around the world get their home organized. Copyright 2001 - 2020 FlyLady and Company, Inc.