Column 24 – Give Yourself a Little Slack! By The FlyLady, Marla Cilley

There is a thought that is keeps coming up today! I think the God Breezes are blowing. It is one of giving a little slack to those around us. I looked it up in the dictionary and it means to be more relaxed, less tense. Wow! I think we all need a dose of slack.

The slack we usually bestow is toward the people around us. I think it is time to give ourselves a little slack. We don’t have to be perfect! That means you don’t have to beat yourself up every time you don’t live up to your own expectations.

If the truth be known; those expectations are not really yours anyway! They were put on you at a very young age by people who thought they were teaching you the right way! There is no right way! There are lots of ways to do things!

As a result your little child’s creativity was stomped on. You were told “My way or the highway!” Well what does that mean to a little kid anyway? This is a scary thought of rejection and abandonment. So we do what we are told!

It is time that we gave ourselves just a little slack! We deserved unconditional love when we were growing up. We didn’t have to prove ourselves to be worthy of love. If you didn’t get it then or even if you did and you lost that loving feeling after getting married; you can get it back.

It starts with Finally Loving Yourself! FLYing is all about being kind and giving yourself just a little slack. You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to beat yourself up when you make a mistake!

I want for you what I have; Peace. That peace came into my life because I started loving myself. At first I began with the words that I said over and over to myself in meditation. I would focus on my breathing and breathe in “I Love” and breathe out “Myself”. I know that sounds too simple but it was an action that I could take to eliminate my negative thinking.  Then I started making sure I had eaten and had drunk enough water. I would get dressed to lace up shoes and fix my hair and face each day. These are simple gifts that I give myself every day.

Each habit I established was all about being kind to me. I deserved to be loved day in and day out. I was the only one that could do this for me. If I looked for this love in someone else it would not have been unconditional on my part.  I would have thought that I needed to do something to be worthy. It was only after I eliminated the negative thinking that I could experience my own unconditional love and appreciate someone who loved me as much as I love myself.

Loving yourself is not selfish. It is your God given right! If you don’t love yourself; you can’t love others.

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