Column 40 – Untying Knots by The FlyLady, Marla Cilley

As a Fly Fishing instructor, I had to teach people how to tie several knots. There is a specific knot for securing the fly to tippet, tying the tippet to the leader, attaching the leader to the flyline, putting the flyline to the backing, and lastly securing the backing to the reel. Each knot is different and each knot protects you from losing that trophy fish!

Knot tying takes patience but untying knots takes greater persistence! If you have ever got your fly hung on a branch, you understand. The first thing you want to do is to pull hard. You have to stop yourself from reacting this way. This only makes the tangle harder to undo.

When you think about the fly getting wrapped around the branch; you realize that it is not really tied in a knot. It is just twisted around the branch several times.  Usually all it takes is a slight wiggle to cause it to gently untangle itself. Then it softly drops back to the water. This surprises you the first time you accomplish this exercise in patience.

As we say in North Carolina, Rhododendron love to eat flies. I have learned how to keep my fly out of the branches by being focused on my cast. So what does all of this have to do with keeping your house clean?

We have lived on a steady diet of CHAOS because of all the tangles we have made in our homes. We felt that things were so messy that we could not get it all cleaned up. We would tell ourselves that we didn’t have time. Our perfectionism would keep us from even starting to get rid of the clutter. Frustration levels increased and we blamed ourselves and everyone else.

When we realized that all it takes is a little wiggle to get rid of the tangle. Set your timer for two minutes and put something away! Before you know it you too will be preventing the CHAOS with your simple routines.

The main knots we have created for ourselves are the huge tangle of stinkin’ thinkin’ that is in our heads. We can clear out those wadded up messes too just by replacing those negative thoughts with a kinder more positive phrase. If we talked to our children the way we talk to ourselves they would be hurt. Don’t do this to you or to them. The words that are in your head, do come out of your mouth and become your children’s inner voices. How do you think that stinkin’ thinkin’ got into your head? We can untangle that mess!

Start by only putting good stuff into your head: Listen to uplifting music, watch wholesome television, and subscribe to positive messages on the internet and Facebook. Establish simple habits and sting them into small routines to help you keep the chaotic tangle of thoughts from beating you up.

Your knots did not happen overnight and they will not get untangled in a day! One habit at a time will help you to get rid of the CHAOS. Consistently pulling out one thread of stinkin’ thinkin’ at a time is going to help you untie that knot of self-loathing.

I got my nickname from my love of Fly Fishing. Many of you found FlyLady by doing a search for how to get your house clean. You never dreamed that there was a much deeper message of Finally Loving Yourself. With each new habit you practice you will be untying that tangled mess in your home and your head.

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