Old Habits Die Hard by The FlyLady, Marla Cilley
Here we are in a brand New Year! The world is full of opportunities and surprises. We are excited about all the possibilities. We do not have to wait for the year to change on our calendars to see a transformation in our own lives.
Many of you were seeking a new way of living when you found us in your newspaper or on the internet. We have all heard the proverb; when the student is ready the teacher will come. We had to be willing to take what we were taught and apply it to our lives.
Learning is not easy! Especially when the lessons we are given call for looking deep inside of ourselves. We can only do this when we quit blaming others for the problems we have and take that look inside of us to discover our reaction to them in the present.
Each day we receive thousands of emails. Many are whining and blaming people in their family. I can't help the others in your family; they did not join our group. I can help you to see that the blaming and whining doesn't change the situation. I can give you new ways to look at the circumstances and teach you the gift of forgiveness. I don't force it down your throats or make you pay large sums of money for these lessons. They are free for the taking. All you have to do is use them. You have to take an action to make those changes.
Albert Einstein said once that the definition of Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. We have a new opportunity to see a different outcome if we will stop what we have been doing for many years and try something new.
This week we have been introduced to a new concept. Many of you have been using this way to communicate all your life. It is what your mothers were taught by their mothers. It is what your husbands and brothers were also taught by their mothers. This type of miscommunication has been going on for centuries.
Now is the time for us to quit blaming others and see our own faults and stop them. Maya Angelou said, "We do the best we can with what we know, and when we know better, we do better."
The problem with learning something new is that many times we get defensive and lash out against the teacher. It is only when the concept is brought to our attention that we realize the problems that surround it. Robert and I opened your eyes to the miscommunication and we choose to call it womanspeak. It does not matter what you call it to yourselves as long as you quit blaming others for the words that are coming out of your own mouth. Along with this type of miscommunication are other actions that are not nice.
Did you ever ask a question and not get the answer you were expecting? At that point any answer that could be given (except the one you wanted) would be assumed to be impolite. Then you reply with a hostile note of sarcasm. Sarcasm is a nasty form of womanspeak and miscommunication. Say what you mean and mean what you say. We would all be nicer people if we lived by this simple rule. Kindness trumps all values. You may have to take a walk till the kindness comes back to you.
As a result of bringing this character flaw to our attention one member has had her eyes opened to why she was abused as a child. She and her brother didn't understand the meaning behind the unrelated words that came from her mother's mouth. They were slapped and put into the closet. She told me that all of her life she thought that she must be stupid because she did not understand her mother. She is one of the smartest people I know and has been my muse for almost eight years. You know her as Vickie. I know her as my dear friend! One day I will get to meet her.
When we speak to our family in womanspeak we might as well be speaking a foreign tongue. If you want something; say it in a plain and simple language. Say what you mean and mean what you say. You may actually get what you want. All the pouting, sarcasm, yelling, punishing and praying will never take the place of a simple request made with a please and a thank you.
Now is the time for changing the way you speak to your family. This one simple action can bring you into a new year of happiness. You get to stop the centuries of hurt feelings and double-talk. The buck stops here! Happy New Year!
FLYing is all about love!
For more help getting rid of your CHAOS; check out her website and join her free mentoring group at www.FlyLady.net or her book, Sink Reflections published by Bantam and her New York Times Best Selling book, Body Clutter published by Fireside. Copyright 2007 Marla Cilley Used by permission in this publication.
people will say ...What? by Alan Levy
Sometime important ideas are born out of hardship. And that is certainly the case with my company BlogTalkRadio, the world's first social radio network. In March 2006, my dad, Maurice, was suffering from non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. He and I decided to create a weblog or a "blog" to keep our family up-to-date on his illness. Today, according to Technorati there are more than 75 million blogs in the blogosphere.
Blogs are purely text based and offer no live interaction between the blogger or publisher and their reader. I reasoned a need for something more interactive but simple, like audio, which is also more intimate.
My dad passed away in May, 2006, but BlogTalkRadio was born in August, three months later.
BlogTalkRadio went live that August with no hosts, no content and no listeners. Today thousands of hosts have broadcast more than 47,000 shows over the network. In November, 1.7 million listeners tuned into to hear the wide variety of programming ranging from politics, sports, religion, business and the paranormal to name just a few.
BlogTalkRadio is a web-based platform that allows anyone worldwide to host their own free Internet talk show. All it takes is a telephone, computer and Internet connection. No software, studio equipment or money is required. The shows are live and interactive, allowing up to six simultaneous callers, and they stream live from the BlogTalkRadio website which is located at www.blogtalkradio.com. Currently, more than 1,500 shows are broadcast each week and the long tail keeps growing
Thousands of everyday people have turned themselves into talk-show hosts, lining up guests to interview and inviting callers to join in their discussions. They use their shows as a way to share thoughts, hold debates, promote movies, engage customers and distribute discussions such as training sessions within their companies. Many of our hosts started with a simple passion for something and now they have hundreds or thousands of listeners and get to talk to their heroes, icons and idols.
The network empowers people to fulfill their dreams, whether that's collaborating on a project, talking shop with industry leaders or chatting with a celebrity. BlogTalkRadio gives people a platform to express themselves and have their voices heard.
Hosts include entrepreneurs like Marla Cilley, known to millions as The FlyLady who unclutters your mind, body and home. Marla is a business unto herself, having built an audience one person at a time by helping men and women across the world keep control of their homes, keep themselves in shape and put dinner on the table.
But anyone with a story to tell or message to share can create a show. Through the use of the BlogTalkRadio network, these citizen broadcasters are empowered to build audiences, engage in meaningful discussions and bring in top talent for the benefit of those audiences.
We have created a new medium with BlogTalkRadio and it started with my father. He would be laughing right now. He would be amused that his illness helped to create a platform that has empowered thousands of citizen broadcasters.
Alan Levy is the co-founder and CEO of BlogTalkRadio, the worlds first social radio network. For more information on how you can become a radio host or to listen to our broadcasts, please join the conversation at www.blogtalkradio.com. Alan's radio show can be found at www.blogtalkradio.com/alanlevy.
