Sparkle of Hope

Dear Flylady!

I have been very much fluttering for about two weeks now. Let me describe the state my home was in before I arrived to your website, defeated, tired and completely overwhelmed by my lack of ability to “hold it together”. The kitchen floor looked like someone died on it several weeks ago. The counter was covered in stains, mold, and dirty, crusty old dishes, wrappers and just random… stuff. It was similar throughout the entire apartment. The living room was awful, the bathroom and WC disgusting and the bedroom unspeakable (I have actually been sleeping on the sofa for past three months). NOTHING was touched for weeks, some spots for months even; the Mount Washmore cannot be described by words. I won´t get into why exactly things got out of hand to this degree- they just did.

And for weeks, I couldn’t bring myself to get started on tackling it. It was all too much. So I was once again a mess, because clearly, if I cannot keep my home in a semblance of order, I suck as a human being and I am undeserving of ever even having a clean home.

That is where I found myself once again reading through your web. I have been here before. The shiny sink thing. And I never did it, simply before it seemed too ridiculous to just clean the sink in the middle of mayhem that is my kitchen. But this time was different. This time I actually did it. And for a couple days, there was only the clean, shiny sink in the middle of terribly dirty kitchen, but it HELPED. It got me started. It remained the sparkle of hope for me.

Today is the two weeks anniversary of me keeping my sink shining and my kitchen clean. I have organized many things, decluttered a literal shit-ton of others, cleaned the living room and bathroom. Yes, the bedroom is still a terrible mess, but I went in there today and made a HUGE difference (yes, it was more like a 4 hours room rescue, but I took breaks, I promise.) And it is also two weeks anniversary of me, not beating myself up about not being perfect. Of allowing myself to just do a little, just what I have time or energy for, and for actually celebrating the progress I´ve made and not ruining my joy with thoughts such as “well are you kidding me, being excited that you FINALLY cleaned the kitchen after three months? what a disgusting human being would take pride in that, you are supposed to be able to KEEP IT CLEAN all the time.” These voices have come and they have passed. I am still happy and celebrating.

And for the first time in a very, very long time… I feel like there is hope.

Thank you very much for everything.

Fluttering FlyBaby
Elizabeth

This entry was posted in testimonials and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Like us on Facebook

Can't detect your timezone. Set your zone.

FlyLady.net: Helping women around the world get their home organized. Copyright 2001 - 2022 FlyLady and Company, Inc.