Dearest FlyLady,

Greetings from Phoenix, Arizona. I became a FlyBaby back in August. While I feel I am learning to tame the Chaos Monster, he has come back with a vengeance. I have read your book, Sink Reflections, made my control journal, and look back towards my highlights in the book, and I am struggling.

I have rearranged the suggested schedule in your book to suit my own, and I am finding that I have NO time for myself and I am not getting my zone cleaning done. My weekly home blessing is taking me 4-6 hours on Saturday, which is supposed to be my family day. On Sundays, which I have tried to make my day of rest, I am feeling guilty about what I have not accomplished.

I’m pretty sure that I’m doing too much during that “hour.” I polish my furniture on all sides, and vacuum under everything. My decluttering sessions and 5 minute hot spot fire drills have all but stopped. I feel like I’m back to square one. I work on Tuesday and Wednesday as a nurse, and my 12 hour shifts end up keeping me away from home for 14 hours. Thus, I’m substituting Saturday and Sunday, my fun and rest day, for cleaning days. I want so badly to make Saturday a family fun day and Sunday a day of worship and rest.

Monday is my errand day, and Friday I babysit for my sister’s 5 month-old, who doesn’t let me put her down, which leaves Thursday. Thursday, I’m usually so exhausted from working in the intensive care unit. My job physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausts me. Please help! Only you can.

Frustrated and Failing in Phoenix.
Sincerely,
Anna

Dear Anna,

You are putting too much pressure on yourself! You have to learn to say NO and let go of our perfectionism. You were right! You are trying to do too much for Weekly Home Blessing hour.

It seems to me that you are working two days a week. Many FlyBabies would love to have your schedule. I want you to look at how much sleep you are getting. If you are not resting well, it could be aggravating your fatigue.

You may need to tell your sister that you need to take care of yourself on Friday. I know this may seem harsh but if you don’t take care of you, WHO WILL?

To help keep up with your routines, read, read, READ the emails.  Everybody needs reminders and these emails are there to help keep you on track. Even though you may get the emails at a time when you can’t really do them due to work schedules, keep reading them – they will gradually invade your mind and give you the mindset you need to start adapting the system to your schedule.

Always remember to let go of your perfectionism and use a timer to avoid being overwhelmed. Pick a room and declutter 15 minutes at a time! Ready? Set, Go!

FlyLady