How Do I Stop?

Dear FlyLady,

I’ve been babystepping for about a month.  First, let me say thank you from my DH, he is AMAZED. My fourth child is 6 months old and NOW I’m cleaning house, homeschooling and keeping my sink shiny.  I wasn’t able to do that when we had NO kids!!

However, I have trouble with the timer…specifically, stopping when it goes off.  I always feel like I can finish in just a few more minutes (which turn into more!) and I then get tired!!

How can I retrain myself?!

Babystepping (and loving it) in Austin
FlyBaby J.

Dear FlyBaby J,

Sometimes we have to recognize what we are doing to ourselves when we do this.

IT IS OUR PERFECTIONISM THAT IS PILING ON! We think, “just a few more minutes to get it perfect. It won’t take long.”

This is a lie! Do not listen to those voices. They want you to take a good thing and turn it into something that is going to hurt you.

When you hear yourself say “I can finish” that is your signal to set your timer for 15 minutes and sit down! Take a break! This is all about replenishing your batteries. Please do not push yourself to exhaustion. This is how your home got in the shape that it is now. Your perfectionism caused this.

As perfectionists, we tell ourselves that it has to be done right! We are not satisfied with “good enough”. This is not our fault, because we were taught from the day we were born. Now that we know we are like this, it is our fault. We can take everything to an extreme. That is our all-or-nothing way of thinking. We had one FlyBaby once who decluttered almost everything from her home. We are not asking you to do this! Only the stuff you don’t use or love! Let go of your perfectionism and you are going to find the peace you are looking for.

Promise me that you will be kinder to yourself. Piling on and perfectionism are not nice. Practice with your timer. Set it for 15 minutes and doing one thing. I play games like this all day long. You will be surprised at what you can get done with a game like this. Some days I play 15 minutes on and 15 minutes resting. Resting for me is working on the computer.

Calendars are the key to knowing what’s for dinner. The squares are big enough for your menus.

We have everything you need to keep your home shining! Sometimes we need a little motivation. Our efficient tools give us a jump start! They make a tough job fun. If you make it fun; it will get done!

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