Hi FlyLady,

At first I have to thank you for all your advice, it helped me a lot! I’m a lazybones, but many things are working better now.

I’ll move to a new, clutter free home at the beginning of March and it took me weeks to get rid of all the clutter in the tiny apartment where I lived for the last 12 years… it was so much, you really can’t imagine! And now I’m worried about the new, clean home with all the new furniture. I’d like to know what’s the best strategy to avoid clutter! I can’t help, but it’s really hard for me to throw things away when I paid for them earlier. I always think I can use them all again later and if I’d have thrown something away I have to buy it new…

Very best regards,
FlyBaby Trashcat

Dear FlyBaby Trashcat,

First YOU ARE NOT A LAZYBONES! Please do not speak to yourself that way! You are strong, you are creative, and you are special. Now say these things to yourself and out loud. I AM STRONG, I AM CREATIVE, I AM SPECIAL! I do this at night before I go to sleep.

Yes my dear sweet FlyBaby, I can imagine the clutter because I had it. When Robert and I got married, I had a house full of clutter and he had a house full of clutter. We put them together and started going to estate auctions. We would buy pallet lots and incorporate the STUFF into our house. We had paths through the piles of boxes. You didn’t dare get up in the middle of the night because it was dangerous. It was only after we got rid of our clutter; did our house become a real home. Now it is home that blesses us every day.

The secret to keeping your new home from being filled with clutter is to get rid of two things when you bring home something new. For example when you bring home a new pair of shoes; get rid of two old pairs of shoes that you don’t love or wear. This will keep clutter from piling up again.

Your desire to keep your new home clutter free, will be the catalyst to protect you from your urge to be frugal. The truth is that you don’t have faith in yourself or God to provide for your needs. That is why you hoard. Yes you heard me right, hoarding.

I had the same problem. I didn’t want to let go of anything because I might need it one day. This fear comes from having to start over with very little. This happened when I left my son’s father in 1990. I moved out with my goose down comforter, my little stereo, a few clothes, and my car. In October of 1994, I moved to North Carolina with my camping gear, fishing equipment, and my winter clothes. Twice in my life I have started over with very few belongings.

As a child; I did not hoard. Hoarding was something I learned as an adult. Could it be that the fear of loss; created this hoarding mentality.

It took me nine months of slowly but steadily removing my clutter. I was very careful to not create another era of loss in my life. I knew deep in my heart that getting rid of too much too fast was going to make me hold on tighter. I wanted to be free of this clutter that was choking me. This is why you have to take it slow and easy, make it fun, and bless someone else with your abundance.

When you bless others with your abundance; the item takes on a whole new meaning in your life. No longer does it represent the money you wasted; it becomes a gift that will give you more blessings.

The giving is empowering! My husband gave me a quote once about prosperity. We do not know who said it. You are prosperous in proportion to what you can do without.

This quote will help you to not start collecting/hoarding again. You will be more particular with what you purchase, what you drag home from the thrift stores, what people give you, and what you buy at yard sales.

The “What People Give You” is tough! They are well meaning. Be gracious and explain that you are decluttering. Take what you need and pass things on to others or donate to your church. Don’t allow the bags to pile up. Go though them immediately and pass them on to others.

I know you can make this move and not clutter up your new home. Be kind to yourself in the process of moving. We have a moving section on our website.

If you are not moving then just pretend to move. I have a friend who is decluttering with this in her mind. Clutter goes away in layers. Something you were holding on to last year; you will be ready to let it go today! I can’t believe how this happens to me all the time.

“Let It Go” and Find Peace!

FlyLady

Dear Friends,

Over the years I have read and answered thousands maybe even millions of emails. One God Breeze plea for help keeps coming up. “I am sinking from the clutter in our home!”

Our Excess is dragging us down, like a weight around our necks. When we release our clutter, give it to someone who can use and love it more than we do, we are throwing out a life line to ourselves. We are no longer sinking into despair.

Our clutter is paralyzing when we try to deal with it. Just this week you have decluttered several things that we couldn’t seem to release. As you have purged these unused, unloved items you have found your routines are functioning more efficiently. Things are not tumbling out of the cabinets when you are reaching for something else.  This gives you more time to cook and do the things you love, instead of dealing with your clutter day in and day out.

I have a declutter song that I love to sing at the top of my lungs when I am doing my 27 fling boogie. Several of my Friends teased me with this song at an event once. “Please Release Me” as sung from the stuffs point of view, but now I am realizing that in the process of finding new homes for you clutter, you are releasing yourself from the problems that come from not being able to let go.

Did you know that hoarding is wrong? Whenever we hold on to something
because we just might need it one day, we are not allowing someone else who needs it more to use it, we are living our lives from an “ole poor me” attitude.  Subconsciously, the feelings are, “I will never be able to afford to buy this so I had better hold on to it, just in case I am poor”. With this attitude, you will always be poor: Poor in Spirit, Poor in love of self, and love for others. Also in lack of faith in your God to provide gifts for you or your ability to provide
for yourself.

I was raised by a Grandmother who lived through the great depression. Robert’s mother lived through it too. We have noticed that our elder family members base their lives on saving this and that, just in case. Some members have been raised by the same principles. We can’t help how we are raised, but we can learn how to use the attitudes for the good of others and not bury ourselves in clutter. The tough part is when you are married to someone who has more of the hoarding principles than you do. As you declutter, they seem to feel more insecure and find ways to gather up their clutter/security all around them. I recommend a good book by Suze Orman, The Courage To Be Rich or the unabridged audio. She tells us that our clutter is holding us back and keeping us from having what we are meant to have, because of our “Oh Poor Me Attitude.” When you give you get. Read this, there are some things about protecting yourself in a divorce, but for the most part I loved everything she had to say. She is a wise financial adviser. Take what you like and leave the rest I always say.

When we decluttered our home in 1999, we found such joy in finding new homes for things we no longer loved and needed. In the process, we also found that giving felt good. As we released the clutter that was clogging our lives and home, we found something that we never expected. We were blessed with money. Not just getting checks in the mail and finding lost accounts, but money saved.  We became more picky about what we bought. Many of you are finding this is true.

Also decluttering can become addictive. I don’t think this is a bad addiction. If you will look in magazines, you will find that less is more, in home furnishings and fashion. Simple is better, than cluttered. You feel peace, when you look at these pictures.

I only want for you what I have found!  As your clutter decreases you will find more peace and joy. I promise!

Are you ready to FLY without clutter dragging you down?

FlyLady

We have everything you need to keep your home shining! Sometimes we need a little motivation. Our efficient tools give us a jump start! They make a tough job fun. If you make it fun; it will get done!