Dear FlyLady,

I’m back here for round 3. The first time my lovely DH wasn’t happy with the decluttering i was doing because he doesn’t like to get rid of things we could use someday. He is just like his Mother was. In fact we still have some of her things stored in the attic even though she has been gone for almost 17 years. So needless to say I couldn’t stick with it. It wasn’t making home life very comfortable.

Round two came around, I was doing good. I was only decluttering things that belonged to me, stuff I brought into the house for some reason and then never used, and stuff that belonged to our lovely children, DD 12, DS 11 who has ADHD and Dyslexia and DS 9 who has ADHD and Autism (non verbal). Then it all came to a halt.

We had a family friend move in with us to help her get back on her feet. Two months became over a year. By that time I was so frustrated taking care of all 6 of us plus several pets. I gave up. I didn’t have the energy to clean, run kids where they need to go, spend time with my DH and take care of another 43 year old adult that didn’t want to do anything for herself. I became really depressed, went and seen my doctor and she was really concerned with how I was telling her I felt. My doctor put me on some meds that seemed to help, I wasn’t hating everyone and everything anymore. BUT I still couldn’t even get myself to do anything. I would go shopping in my pajamas, I wouldn’t brush my hair, I hated to shower, dishes weren’t done, I never knew what to make for dinner…you get the idea.

Finally my hubby and I sat down and talked, we didn’t do that often anymore either. We both said what had been bothering us and I hate to say it all pointed to the family friend that was living with us. We both felt it was time to talk with her and have her find her own place. We wanted our house and life back. Shortly after that we had a big scare with our DS (now 12), he ended up in the ER with a very high blood sugar reading and he had to be flown out of state to a specialist. He was diagnosed with diabetes… another thing to make things a little more hectic. But he’s a trooper and is doing great with all of it. Sometimes he is sad because he feels he can’t have anything like he used to but I try to find special sugar free things for him all the time. I’m actually surprised at how many things we have found for him. Anyway… A few months later she moved, everyone seemed happier but the house was still in total chaos. I talked with my niece, who is also my best friend, and she said don’t worry, once the kids get back into school you’ll get back into your groove. Many nights i thought about what she said. I remembered how good it felt just to accomplish something, even if it was a small task. Something done now is less for me to do later…

So here I am again. I signed back up for emails, I didn’t do the babysteps again because I knew what they were. I just started by getting a small tote, putting all the dirty dishes into it and then I shined my sink. I couldn’t stop staring at it, I even started with the purple puddles because the feeling came back that I could do anything, I just had to start somewhere. Yes its not the P-word, but nothing is. But it is done my way and that still puts a smile on my face. It has now been almost 2 months since the kids went back to school. I have made my bed everyday, shined my sink every night. Mount Washmore no longer exists and that Attraction at this Circus of mine has CLOSED FOR GOOD! My two oldest have now helped with laundry and my DD (now almost 14) does it with out me asking. She just tells me that she put laundry washing because she knows it would help me out.
I will be honest and say that it is in the afternoon that I am writing this, I am still in my pajamas, but that is something I like to do, it is part of my sunday Renew My Spirit. If I get my stuff done during the week I reward myself with a pajama day, no shoes…just relaxing with the family. Things will be there waiting for me when I bless my home on Monday.

My DH has noticed the more relaxed tidy home, he tells me everyday that he’s very happy with what I get done, even if its just making the bed and having food on the table, even with all the decluttering I have done. He understands that things can get a little hair pulling crazy around here when our youngest has a rough day and we have trouble calming him down. That is a day where I have to sit on the chair with him in my lap under his weighted blanket. He needs deep compression to bring his anxiety levels back down. I don’t mind most times though because I love the snuggle time we get. My hubby and kids always come before chores.

I’m sorry this is so long but I could go on and on about how great you, your system and crew is but I know you already know. I just want to be able to help someone else see that it doesn’t matter what life throws your way, all you need to do is put on your shoes and take it one step at a time. Things will get done as long as you make it fun. Crank on the music, dance silly it doesn’t matter. Life is joyful, just don’t clean clean clean…remember to live! Thank all of you for helping me get my life calm and happy again.

FlyBaby Jen

We have everything you need to keep your home shining! Sometimes we need a little motivation. Our efficient tools give us a jump start! They make a tough job fun. If you make it fun; it will get done!

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