Dear FlyLady:

Stinking thinking is a habit that is horribly hard to break, especially for me, I keep asking God to help me over come it.  You constantly encourage us to do so.

Monday’s and Tuesdays are difficult for me so far this year as we have to be out of the house by 7 a.m. and to school an hour away for classes that are from 8 to 1.  Some days I bounce out of bed at 6 and manage to do fine and some days it is a struggle and I don’t manage to force my feet to the floor until 6:30 and today was one of those days.  I managed to get the food carry bags put together with no problem, had his drinks ready and my coffee (today back to tea tomorrow) ready and the pot wiped out, my bed made and dressed to go with my craft bag and movies ready with no problem.  Joy of joys!  No, I didn’t get my sink cleared out of the dirty dishes but not a big deal, my fault for not getting up on time.

Then came the first attack, he took the garbage cans to the street for pick up without me having to remind him!  Was I grateful?  Yes, but he took the can of recycle to the curb with the garbage and he knows that is supposed to go to the recycle location and we have to take it there.  I bite my tongue and when we got to the car and pulled out thanked him for taking the garbage to the street and let it go.  He had done something without me reminding him and I should be thankful not grumpy.  It is trash anyway.  Now comes attack number two.  When we got home he grabbed his food bag and brought it in and just dumped it on the counter and raced off to take his shower leaving me to unpack and clean it.  I unloaded my totes, went into the kitchen and glared at his food tote.  Why should I have to unpack it, wipe it out, and put it away?  Just like last night, I thought, he waited until after 10 p.m. to bring out a bunch of dirty cups and bowls and dumped them in my clean sink and left them for me to clean up.  It isn’t mine, he should at least clean it up himself!  I don’t care about him taking a shower when he gets home, he is taking welding and he does smell bad after classes and there are no showers to use on campus.  He will at least put those nasty smelling clothes in a sealed bag on Monday and in the washer on Tuesday, not stuff them in his hamper or the bathroom hamper and cause those rooms to smell like welding, I should be grateful I reminded myself and I am.  I do have to go in and start the washer once he is out of the shower but gee, that only takes a minute or two and tossing them in the dryer only takes a minute or two.  Since it is such a small load it only takes a couple of minutes to fold or hang the clothes and put them in his room fresh and clean and one day I know he will do those things for himself just like he is keeping his bedroom so much cleaner since I got on board and without me saying anything just because he wants to do it.

Now came the attempt to correct myself.  There are dirty dishes in the sink that I left there this morning.  I have to unpack my food bag and put it away.  They both go in the same area.  It is only going to take a minute or two to do his as well.  I am going to empty and shine that sink why not just do it all at once?  What if he left something in the insulated bag that should go in the refrigerator?  Do I want to have my counter top smiling at me or do I want to leave the food bag there until he finally does it or it sits there for a week and will make me uncomfortable?

Needless to say I emptied it, wiped it out, put both of them away and did all the dishes and “shined my sink” and wiped down my counter tops and my stove top in 10 minutes.  I will not mention it to him at all.  Why should I?  It only makes me petty and childish, like it would to complain because the recycle went to the garbage man instead of the recycle place.  It saved me the time and gas from loading it up and driving it away.  I have empty cans and it is gone.  So I am back to smiling and being grateful.

Why because you encourage us to put “stinking thinking” in the garbage and let it go!  Once I hit the send button I am going to just let this go and not think about it anymore because it just isn’t a major issue.  He took out the garbage and didn’t leave the food bag in the car!  Stars on his calendar for the day!

Pam in Indiana

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