See Ya Perfectionism, Hello Happy Me!

Hi Flylady & Friends,

I just wanted to write to tell you about the changes in my mindset.  I’ve never really described myself as a perfectionist (at least not with housework) until I recognised myself in your essays.  It has even been a struggle to do the routines and the weekly home blessing – because I want to do them perfectly… if I didn’t swish & swipe or vacuum the whole house (that’s just the middles) in 10 minutes… then I wasn’t flying ‘perfectly’. I initially crashed & burned because I tried to do too much too soon.  But I’ve been making great progress lately.

1/ I’m taking to heart the ‘jump in where you are’ – if I didn’t get to swish & swipe in the morning, the afternoon swish & swipe still blesses my family and me!  Plus, I’m no longer beating myself up for allowing the house to get in ‘that’ state again.

2/ Hot spot fire drills – I’m learning that even if I run out of time to put out a fire – doing half the drill is better than doing none of it.  Or even if the job *feels* too big I’m actually okay with setting a goal of only doing half of it.

3/ On Monday I had to be out at a Mum’s group by 10am, and I found that because I’d shined my sink the night before, set my clothes out (which I rarely do – not ‘there’ yet!) I had a lot of time before we had to leave. The house was a mess with a young family at home all weekend and a dog that is shedding copious amounts of fur at the moment.  But I shelved my perfectionism and thought: what do I want done the most?  Vacuum the carpet (and only the carpet – not the whole house!) and the kitchen ready for mopping (after a hot oil slight mishap the night before); swish & swipe; mop the kitchen; shine the sink after brekky dishes.  I didn’t get all of it done (just the vacuuming, mopping & and half swish & swipe!), but I was so pleased with myself that I didn’t get overwhelmed and, I was happy with what I did and not upset or feeling guilty over what I didn’t do.

Sorry it’s gotten a bit long, but there was one other thing I had to say. Today I FLEW through my day – my oldest son had his first day back at school after the Easter holidays – and I spent a good portion of today reading a book.  I’d banned myself from reading novels because it usually consumes me and this was the first novel I’ve read in about a year.  But today I thought I could try it, because I can do anything for 15 minutes!  Even control my reading!  I just made sure I set my timer and stopped reading when the timer went off, did more ‘blessings’ around the house and when I needed (okay… wanted) another break I did – guilt free!  Thank you for helping me enjoy something I dearly love without the guilt and without it taking over my life.

It’s been over a year now since I fell in love with flying with you and now I’m finally starting to love myself!  Thank you for this precious gift.  I have always been too hard on myself, and thanks to you, I’m starting to ease up on me. :o)

God bless you, dear friend.
Flybaby Tina in Australia.

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