Back to Basics Musing: Perfectionism

Dear Friends,

This week we are concluding our back to basics. Some of you like it; and others did not. What I have decided is that I can’t please all of you, so I have to follow my inspiration and do what I feel is best. Every message that goes out is here to help you find out who you are supposed to be. Your clutter and CHAOS is standing in the way of your peace. Our messages “Sink In” if you will give them a chance to change your inner dialog. All we ask is that you give our system an honest try and not whine. In the time it takes you to shoot off an email complaining; you can shine your sink.

I feel that the basis for all of our problems is our need to be perfect and I mean all of them! From our homes being messy to the Super Woman Syndrome that plays havoc on our health!

Does your perfectionism make you mean and nasty as well as look down on others who are not as perfect as you are? That term is so funny: There are no degrees of perfection and none of us are!

Don’t let this character flaw hurt your family, your job, or your friends!

I have heard it all! From constructive criticism to how could you be that stupid!

Perfectionism holds us back or it makes us go overboard. We are either paralyzed by not having enough time to do it right or we take all the time in the world to do it perfectly while letting everything else go by the wayside.

The worst part of perfectionism is our mouths. We say hurtful things in the guise of helping someone to do it RIGHT! Let me tell you something. There is no right way to do anything:  Just different ways.

If I had been afraid to make a mistake; I sure would not be spilling my heart and soul to you every day. I make lots of mistakes every day, but that didn’t stop me from putting my words into a book and finding people who have talents in editing to look at my words and make them ready for publication. My talents are following the God Breezes and helping to motivate you to do just a little, instead of being paralyzed in our perfectionism. So what if I make a mistake that spell check doesn’t find or that I don’t catch on my second read through. The mistakes are minor and most people know exactly what I am talking about. In fact some folks get a nice laugh from my typos. But there are others who just don’t seem to get it and are mean about it. If they are mean to me, a total stranger, then how do they treat people they actually know and are supposed to love! Do their tongues give their children a lashing for not doing something right the first time? Are you guilty of this?

We have all lived with those people! You know those cutting words that have become our unspoken mantra, “If you can’t do it right; don’t do it at all!” I want those words to leave our brains. I have forgiven those people in my life and I continue to pray for them.

Every day I deal with my own perfectionism. The FLY Crew and I find a new layer to peel off quite frequently. Sometimes it takes one of us to say to the other. “You know we are making this harder than it really is, we are letting perfectionism creep in and ruin this for us.

Let me give you some examples. Our members have been begging for a FlyLady Apron. It needed pockets and a way to wear it. We have had several designed and none of them were right. Do you think the perfectionist monster crept in again? This morning I decided it just needed to be simple. After all Less is More! It doesn’t have to carry our cleaning bottles because we have those in our bathrooms and kitchens. It doesn’t have to carry our dusters because they have a home of honor in umbrella stands and vases. It just needs to cover our clothing and make us feel motivated. So I am going to design our apron. I have been sewing since I was eight years old. This will be a piece of cake!!

The same goes for a FlyLady mug to motivate us and remind us to take breaks and pamper ourselves. I wanted elegant bone china. Well guess what my mug of comfort did not stay hot long. So that idea went away because the cup did not work well. This morning my Sweet Darling brought me a cup of coffee while I was in the tub. It was a pretty mug and as I let my perfectionism go down the drain I realized that the mug needs to comfort us and motivate us. Why couldn’t we just put our mottos on them: Be Kind To Me, Less is More, Just 15 Minutes, and I’m So Proud Of You!! We can keep it simple and get the job done; not make it difficult. A cup is a cup: it is the sitting down and putting our feet up along with the warmth of the liquid inside of it that blesses us! I don’t have to make it so hard. Poof another layer of my perfectionism is gone again.

Whenever something seems to be too hard; look and see if your perfectionism is getting in the way. When your frustration level reaches that exploding point; STOP and check to see if it is your perfectionism that is making you crazy.

Are you ready to FLY? Let go of your perfectionism and sprout those wings!!!

FlyLady

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