Your Message of Love

Dear Flylady,

I just wanted to say I love you, and I don’t know how that’s possible, since we haven’t met! I guess it’s because I just couldn’t resist you. You are slowly messing with my mind and my heart, and I cry more and more often as I hear your voice on tape or read a testimonial. Your message of love just envelops me every day, and I can’t thank you enough. You and your system are the cure for my perfectionism and SHEness. I never realized what it means to love myself… Pamper? What is that? I work myself to exhaustion every day and then whine that no one cares. By the time I come to the point of taking care of myself, I feel so exhausted and drained only to find that all I do just backfires on me. All the service, all the giving, all the work seem for naught. I end up grouchy, yelling at my kids, doing things begrudgingly in a messy house. Yet, slowly my attitude is changing as you are always there to support and encourage me, and most of all, to tell me that I am NOT behind! This is a miraculous message for a perfectionist, and I am still trying to grasp the acceptance and love behind it. I am so grateful for it. God sent you my way like a lifeboat in the middle of a stormy sea. I am smiling more often, feel more peaceful, and don’t yell at my kids so much anymore. Instead, I go about my business, and somehow things get done.

I’ve been trying to fly for a while now, and I did really well in the beginning of the year, but then we went through a home purchase and remodel, and everything went haywire. As I was struggling to come to terms with a new house, most of it temporarily in boxes in the garage. I salvaged your daily emails from my Trash folder and began reading. It was way different this time. I felt it all resonated with me so much. I never fully realized the depth and width of my SHEness. But reading email after email, I identified. Finally, I succumbed to Hidden Treasures, and I cried through the whole thing. I wanted to get rid of the guilt, I could so relate, I wanted my shame and desperation to end. I am an introverted pastor’s wife, and to say that I bottle things up is an understatement. So, being able to relate to other women like me felt like I wasn’t as insane as I thought. My previous attempts at flying have made it so that my house is not a complete disaster, but I still have a long ways to go. I have routines in the evening and morning, my sink is shining, and this week, when we’re supposed to work in our master bedrooms, I found myself standing there looking around at what I could do. My bedroom is decluttered! How did that happen? I’ve been fluttering steadily for about 3 weeks now, and my house looks better and better every day. I still have to incorporate many habits, and the weekly home blessing is still a challenge given the unexpected nature of my schedule.

However, somehow I find time for 5-minute room rescues all over the place, and 27-fling boogies have helped me declutter my winter clothes yet again as we prepare for colder weather. Magically, I got a donation request in the mail and I have several garbage bags filled with stuff to give away this Friday. I just started listening to the audio version of Sink Reflections for the second time, and your purple puddles are contagious! I feel so close to you and other flybabies nowadays, as if we were all family. Thank you for your wonderful ministry of teaching, encouraging, and LOVING us SHEs everywhere!

xoxox

A flybaby in California

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