Dear FlyLady.
Few years ago i was SAHM with two kids. Then they were around DS 7years and DD around 5 years old. From September till end of May I wasn’t at home like people who have job. It is too long to tell, but from September till May our days were like this. From Monday till Friday we drove out early morning out from home. At first we drove to husband’s work and left him there. Then I drove to other city where was school and kindergarden for kids. There I spent all day in my sister place and did nothing. OK, i was knitting a lot. But this situation did nervous both of us – me and my sister. So, in afternoon I brought one kid from school, another from kindergarden and drove to husband work. Then we returned home. He was tired and I was tired too. I made dinner and went to rest. Husband was often angry because (at his point!) house were messy. At my point it look not so bad, but anyway i felt ashamed if somebody came in. But I couldn’t to clean in evenings. I was not able even start something. I didn’t understood it and i couldn’t explain it to my husband. Later from your emails I found out that is perfectionism. If I didn’t have enough time and couldn’t start it and finish like I want and need, I didn’t started it at all. What I can say, I never had so many time in evenings.
In summers from June to August I finally could spent time at home all day. I understood that my house is messy and I really wanted to change it, but i couldn’t and I didn’t know haw even to start it. I knew that I was doing something wrong, but i didn’t knew – what exactly. Actually I was blaming my husband because he didn’t help me. But somewhere deep in my heart I knew I was not the reason. So, even I spent at home all day, house didn’t become cleaner.
So, in one summer day I googled home organizing. I found one forum where woman wrote some tips and added in the end something like this – but if you want something more, check FlyLady. They have a system of home organization. So I googled FlyLady and… my life was changed.
All these years I am reading your emails. Sometimes I am doing very well, but often I fall out. Actually – I do so less, I think. I don’t know why. May be because here are reasons in my mind and it is not my time yet. May be it is because you are in USA, bet I am in Latvia (do you know where my country is?). I tried to adapt system for me, but only now I am understand, that I did to much at time and burned out. Soon after founding you I found job (five days in week 8.00-17.00) and stopped Flying for a while. In fact, I didn’t believe it can fully work for me. But anyway, I never totally forget about you. I still read your emails.
When I got emails about Hidden Treasures, to be honest, i thought – OK, it is a new book, good. When I got many emails with reviews about this book, I thought – again? It is a book, so what is SO GOOD in it? Can you forgive me? I was so wrong!!!! And I didn’t even check about what is this book.
This Thursday daughter called me from school and said she don’t feel good. I left mu workplace and brought her home and took care about her. When she wanted to sleep, I left her and went to check my email. There was email about Hidden Treasures, but it was not annoying me this time. So i clicked link and went to amazon.com. I checked those few pages what people can see without buying book and… after 10 minutes I open this book in my Kindle.
Now is late Sunday night here. I finished reading this amazing book and wanted to write to tell you – IT IS AMAZING BOOK!!! I laughed and I cried. I found myself in this book and there are so many things about me. Amazing, really amazing. My English isn’t very good and I think you found mistakes here, but if you would know Latvian, I could tell you so much, how I am excited about this book!
FlyLady, you are doing so important job! You are changing so many lives. I think I can’t say enough thanks to you. God bless you and everybody who works with you.
At the end I want to tell one interesting thing. So, as I said, I don’t have this system (if I can say so) in my life, BUT…. Somehow changes happens. Once I asked my husband about one thing, i wanted to know he wants to keep it or not. He replied to me – yes, I want to keep this thing. All YOU want is put everything in trash box. I thought – really? No, it is not true. Not so long time ago, he said that he is surprised how house looks clean for so long time. But the most important thing happen last week. Every evening I cleaned up kitchen and my sink was clean. I bought one book, which I wanted to read slow and without disturbing like ( I want eat! (kids) Why this floor is messy again? (husband)), so I decided in Friday evening work hard, but get free Saturday. Cleaning took around 3 hours and I did things like even wash my indoor plants. Amazing! I was surprised! Before, when I did in Saturdays, it took full day. Normally I started at 9.30 and finished at 17.30-18.00. Can you imagine that? If i did only simply cleaning ( i mean – dusting, washing floors, put things back to places) it would took for not more then 1.5-2 hours. So i woke up in Saturday by myself. I cook quickly and had FREE Saturday for myself and family. When I remember that day, i still can’t believe I did it! But I did!
The first is this. I thought I am not doing anything, just readings emails. I don’t have control journal, I am not doing zones and routines, I do nothing. But – in these few years I almost decluttered our house. I changed my thinking. I got out from depression. I feel better. I have more free time. There were time when I hoped nobody will come in, because our house were so messy. Now I let my perfectionism go and our home mostly time looks good enough. It’s all because of you, Flylady. You changed my life. I started believe in myself. I started love myself. It is victory, I think. Thank you very much.
Ilze from Latvia
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