FlyLady.net | Your personal online coach to help you gain control of your house and home

Reclaim Our Home

Dear FlyLady,

12 years ago, when I was a young woman, new wife, and new mother, a kind woman told me of you and that she wished she had known the “right way” to clean when she was my age. I signed up for the emails and shined my sink and totally bought into the process. However, as you can imagine, my perfectionism always got in the way. If I couldn’t get it “right” I didn’t do it at all. And if I wasn’t going to do it, I didn’t make anyone else do it either. Our house was figuratively falling apart around us, even as we wallowed in our own clutter.

This summer, I decided that it was finally time to get serious. I took your plan and customized it for myself and the kids. Their summer activities now include: household chores, music, reading, exercise, devotions and more. We’ve been on track for a week now, and everyone is settling into a more disciplined lifestyle. Already, I’m seeing differences in our home. It may take us the whole summer (15 minutes at a time), but I believe that we can escape CHAOS and keep it that way! How nice it is to reclaim our home as a family. Thank you for believing in us and teaching us to FLY.

From,

Your Prodigal FLY Babies
Winchester, VA

What are you waiting for? Procrastination hurts you!

We have everything you need to keep your home shining! Sometimes we need a little motivation. Our efficient tools give us a jump start! They make a tough job fun. If you make it fun; it will get done!

We are going through our CHAOS to Clean Book this Month! Get yours now!

Purple Rag sale for only $8.95 while we have them!

It has your favorite tools! Got Old Cleaning Tools? Time to Upgrade with The Best! FlyLady’s Back to Basics Pack! Declutter the old to make room for the new!

Kitchen Tools Flash Sale! Half Price

Posted in testimonials Tagged babysteps, behavior modification, flylady, get organized, routines, TestiFLY, timer

May Habit #2 My Kids are Moving In May

by Testimonials

Dear FlyLady,

My DSs, 11 and 7, spend too much time in front of electronics — too much screen time. When they play too long, for a stretch of a full hour, they become irritable, pick fights with each other and their sister (4yo), refuse to do what they’re told, can’t sleep well, won’t eat well, and more. Some time ago (has it been a year) I instituted the “15/10 minute tidy”.

That is, they take a 15 minute break from their screens every hour (when the clock rings in the top of the hour). They can spend 5 minutes going to the bathroom and drinking water (it’s amazing how much more water they drink when it postpones the next part!) and must spend 10 minutes cleaning.
Usually it is as simple as put your own shoes away, out of the middle of the hall or bathroom where you dumped them last, put your own dishes in the sink, put your own night clothes in the laundry basket, put away the games you have played and left out, etc.

Well, for the first “tidy” this morning, I insisted they all put on their shoes. They grumbled. We went outside. They expected yard work. I told them our first “tidy” of the day would be a “body clutter tidy” and we were all, as a group, taking a walk around the pond next door. Not a cardiac workout for sure, not as I had to stay at the pace of my four year old DD, but we walked around the entire pond.

The boys asked permission to “clean up our world”, so we went on “litter patrol” as well. The boys got more exercise than I did, as they ran off to a trash can whenever their hands were full. We paused at the top of a hill for a pine-cone throwing contest which worked our arms, then ran up and down the hill retrieving our pine cones for another chance. DS11 won.

It took us nearly a half hour to get around the pond, collecting litter, throwing pine cones, drifting in and out of the numerous greenhouses (the pond waters a plant nursery next door). It was good family time, the boys told me they had a great time, we spent some time outside in the beautiful spring before the heat and high sun of the day, and we got our Moving in May done.

Thanks for being the catalyst to get us out there!
KY Flutterer

FlyLady Rebecca here: Do you have a Moving in May Testimonial? Let us know, and send an email with I LOVE MOVING IN MAY in the subject line.

What are you waiting for? Procrastination hurts you!

We are going through our CHAOS to Clean Book this Month! Get yours now!

Purple Rag sale for only $8.95 while we have them!

It has your favorite tools! Got Old Cleaning Tools? Time to Upgrade with The Best! FlyLady’s Back to Basics Pack! Declutter the old to make room for the new!

Kitchen Tools Flash Sale! Half Price

Posted in Habit of the Month Tagged clutter, flylady, get organized, Habit of the Month

Basic Weekly Plan Keeps Saturday FREE

by Ask Flylady

Please explain a Basic Weekly Plan. Thanks!

Dear Friends,

The question has been asked more than once; what is a Basic Weekly Plan? Let me start by explaining how the idea of a Basic Weekly Plan came about. On New Year’s Day of 1999, I was determined to “Get Organized”. In the process of trying to figure out why Pam and Peggy’s Card File System had not ever worked for me for very long; I started sorting all my cards into piles: Daily, weekly, monthly and seasonally.

The daily cards became my morning, afternoon and evening routines. My monthly cards were broken down into the five zones in our home. Seasonal cards were posted on our calendar. Then there was that pile of everything that needed to be done each week.

This is when I decided to assign a topic to each day of the week. And I divided the pile between the weekdays. Let’s start with Sunday.

Sunday is Renew Your Spirit Day: Take care of me
Monday is Weekly Home Blessing Day: Bless my home and laundry
Tuesday is My Free Day: Lunch with friends,
Wednesday is Anti-Procrastination Day: Things that get put off, menu planning
Thursday is Errand Day: Grocery Day and appointments
Friday is Clean out the Car Day, Date Night and Do Bookkeeping
Saturday is Family Fun day; Spend time with family

Make a list of everything that you need to do each week. Set up your very own Basic Weekly Plan or use ours.https://www.flylady.net/d/getting-started/flying-lessons/control-journal/step-11/

Are you ready to FLY with a Basic Weekly Plan guiding your way?
FlyLady

If you need more help with a Basic Weekly Plan there is a worksheet in our Control Journal. Don’t let your perfectionism stand in the way of peace you deserve.

What are you waiting for? Procrastination hurts you!

We are going through our CHAOS to Clean Book this Month! Get yours now!

Purple Rag sale for only $8.95 while we have them!

It has your favorite tools! Got Old Cleaning Tools? Time to Upgrade with The Best! FlyLady’s Back to Basics Pack! Declutter the old to make room for the new!

Kitchen Tools Flash Sale! Half Price

Posted in Ask FlyLady Tagged basic weekly plan, office in a bag

Suffering Alone

by FlyLady

Dear Friends,

Our homes have always been a source of shame for us. This is why we locked ourselves behind those doors and refused to let anyone into our homes and our lives. We were fearful that someone would find out our dirty little secret. We felt that we were the only ones in the whole wide world that lived this way. I wrote Sink Reflections for you.

This book is dedicated to YOU, who have suffered in silence, thinking that you were the only one in the world who lived in CHAOS!

We no longer have to suffer with our shame. FLYing gives you the tools to deal with your home and yourself. You see you never dreamed that the state of your home was a symptom of your problem and not the problem itself. You have said it thousands of times, “If only I could get the house clean; everything would be OK.” That is not how it works. We have read every self help book ever printed because we were looking for that special tip that would be the saving grace. There is no special tip for house cleaning. It just has to be done. The problem has always been our perfectionism.

As children we were taught by our parents that if you can’t do it right don’t do it all. It was a lesson we took to heart. We were also taught by example that cleaning took a huge block of time. I don’t know many people that have hours to devote to their homes. We all have busy schedules and just want our homes to magically clean themselves.

Well that does not happen unless you have your routines firmly grounded. Even small routines will change your home. When you sandwich your new attitudes along with your routines, and toss in some love; you have the recipe for a wonder comfort zone that you can call home.

In all those self-help books we were given tips for doing things. We all know how to clean; after all we are perfectionist; our biggest problem is moving when we have the chance. For years in our stinking thinking we cleaned for company. We didn’t have time to do a little every day, because we didn’t think it would do any good at all. We felt that we needed a whole day to clean and then we would be so proud of ourselves when we stood back and looked at what we had accomplished. That would only last a few hours because the clean would start to disintegrate around us: All because we didn’t have routines to help us keep it up.

Routines are not the straight jackets that we thought they were. With them we can be even more spontaneous than before because now we can open our doors and not hide. Before in our CHAOS; we had to have lots of notice to get ready for company. It would take day or weeks to get it together and an all night cramming session the day before the company arrived. We looked and felt awful because we were not taking care of ourselves. We were such a joy to be around! NOT!!!

Did you know that your family deserves to be treated like company and you do too? Since it has always taken so long to get ready for company then we just didn’t think we were worth it. Well we are and now you know how to do it without being overwhelmed by the process. The secret to keeping your home in this comfort zone is to pick up after yourself. I asked my clerk one time about this. I had crisis cleaned to get ready for Thanksgiving and I was afraid that it would all fall apart before Thursday and I would be up half the night to get ready for our guest. Since she is Born Organized I interviewed her about how to keep it together. She kind of chuckled at me and said it is really quite simple, Marla. All you have to do is pick up after yourself. That was a light bulb moment for me. If I get it out, I put it away. Wow it is that simple after all.

That was the day that I started to practice picking up after myself. I would be on watch for those tell-tell words, “I can do that later, I’ll just put it here for a minute till…..” That was my warning sign that I was getting ready to build a hot spot. It is just amazing when one of your flat surfaces is clean; how much that piece of paper stands out. Kind of like a sore thumb.

Half the battle of having a home ready for company all the time is to have your favorite dumping grounds(hot spots) clear. Your house can have dust every where and floors that need doing, but if your hot spots are extinguished, then your home looks clean because the clutter isn’t in your face. I don’t let my home get more 15 minutes worth of cluttered. We could have a party tonight if we wanted. Fling open our doors and let our friends into our lives.

Could you do this without a panic? It is so peaceful to know that your home is ready and your bathroom is presentable. I want for you what I have and this peace came from building my routines one habit at a time and changing my attitude toward my home.

Are you ready to FLY by eliminating the CHAOS in your life?

FlyLady

What are you waiting for? Procrastination hurts you!

We are going through our CHAOS to Clean Book this Month! Get yours now!

Purple Rag sale for only $8.95 while we have them!

It has your favorite tools! Got Old Cleaning Tools? Time to Upgrade with The Best! FlyLady’s Back to Basics Pack! Declutter the old to make room for the new!

Kitchen Tools Flash Sale! Half Price

Posted in Uncategorized Tagged flylady, get organized

Keep Me Inspired

by TestiFLY

Dear FlyLady,

I love reading your emails and the testimonials of others. They keep me inspired!

But I read a lot of testimonials that people say they have tried and failed your system. I’m here to say that if they are doing it today, not yesterday or last week but today, they are succeeding! You always say, “you’re not behind, jump in where you are”.
That’s today! You inspire me with your present moment thinking.

I was going to go to bed after my bath but after reading a testimonial and remembering your mantra, “You can do anything for 15 minutes” I’ve realized I can go back down to the other end of the house and do those dishes without impacting my bedtime by much. I’m sure it won’t even take the full 15 minutes.

Thanks for your inspiration and encouragement!

Flying 15 at a time!

What are you waiting for? Procrastination hurts you!

We are going through our CHAOS to Clean Book this Month! Get yours now!

Purple Rag sale for only $8.95 while we have them!

It has your favorite tools! Got Old Cleaning Tools? Time to Upgrade with The Best! FlyLady’s Back to Basics Pack! Declutter the old to make room for the new!

Kitchen Tools Flash Sale! Half Price

Posted in testimonials Tagged behavior modification, flylady, get organized, TestiFLY

May Habit #1 Our New Habit

by Testimonials

Dear Friends,

It’s May, and that means it’s time to get moving! Each May we practice the habit of getting our bodies used to a few minutes of daily loving movement. This could be walking, running, dancing, etc. Whatever you do, make it fun and it will get done!

A little moving will energize you and you will feel better! Start with just 2 minutes!

FlyLady

FlyLady Rebecca here: Do you have a Moving Testimonial? Let us know, and send an email with I AM MOVING IN MAY in the subject line.

What are you waiting for? Procrastination hurts you!

We are going through our CHAOS to Clean Book this Month! Get yours now!

Purple Rag sale for only $8.95 while we have them!

It has your favorite tools! Got Old Cleaning Tools? Time to Upgrade with The Best! FlyLady’s Back to Basics Pack! Declutter the old to make room for the new!

Kitchen Tools Flash Sale! Half Price

Posted in Habit of the Month Tagged flylady, get organized, Habit of the Month

Help! I Can’t Declutter

by Ask Flylady

Dear FlyLady:

I need help and wanted to turn to you. I know you get thousands of emails a day so I will keep it short.

I’ve been receiving FlyLady mail now for several years and my house is definitely cleaner — but I cannot bring myself to declutter! Throwing one thing away — even old moldy food in the refrigerator — is a huge effort.

There is this overwhelming guilt that goes along with discarding unused things. I cannot explain it and I don’t know where it comes from but it’s clogging up my life. I feel like I really need to think long and hard about something before I get rid of it. I’m not whining here — I’m more at wits end with myself! I don’t want to be one of those people who they find dead among a pile of newspapers! (Although in my case it would probably be mail…)

Instead of giving up something for lent I had planned to face my hoarding nature (which I try to view as “sin” because it keeps me apart from God) and throw away one thing a day. I was going to use BodyClutter as a guide — because although I’m in pretty good physical shape I thought I could apply the principles to my house clutter. So I went to my garage-size storage unit to find the book (I recently moved — over a year ago! — and just threw everything in a storage unit where it’s been ever since!) — but guess what? I couldn’t find the book. So I didn’t follow through.

Any insight? I know this stuff is standing in my way. Why am I treating myself so poorly?!

Otherwise — thank you so much for everything. The emails, the testimonials, the reminders, the essays, everything. You remind me to keep my standards high — and I appreciate that. Thank you for sharing your “self” with all of us!

Floundering at the Jersey Shore

Dear Jersey Shore,

I will not call you floundering because I do not agree with you! You say your home is getting cleaner! That is a success. The fact that you recognize your clutter as a problem is the first babystep in getting rid of it.

Guilt is the reason you will not get rid of anything. Guilt is the weight that is holding you down and keeping you from FLYing! Guilt is a tool to separates you from God! Another name for guilt could be fear of disappointing others.

We were all raised by people who were touched by the great depression. That “Poor Me” thinking has been handed down to all generations. It is not your fault! You can release those negative words that you hear in your head. Those are the voices of the “poor me” past generations.

You had a great idea of using our book Body Clutter to address this. We deal with those voices that we have in our heads. Those voices are not yours. You are only parroting what you have heard your whole life! Now don’t beat yourself up because you can’t find the book! Be thankful that much of your clutter is corralled in a storage unit and not in your home.

Just as hoarding is habit; decluttering can be addictive! I think the main problem is that you are looking at the whole house and the storage unit. You don’t need my book Body Clutter to get started; you just need a commitment to release one thing a day. If you have to sing this song! Please release me let me go; as sung from the stuff’s point of view.

I want you to think about your clutter this way! It wants to be released from the bondage of your home. Someone somewhere needs these things that you are hoarding. As for the newspapers and mail; You are just overwhelmed and scared to throw anything away.

Most of what comes in the mail is trash. You mail has to earn the right to come in your home. Cull through it before you come in the house. One member keeps her shredder in the garage. As she gets out of the car she shreds the trash. If you don’t have a shredder then open up your mail over a trash can. Tear off the parts that could be used in identity theft. As for a good shredder. They are priced from $30 to $200.

I like to use paper in my fireplace as kindling for my fires. My paper clutter warms me. LOL I am glad I live in the mountains and can have a fire often. The only problem is the summer time. I need a shredder too.

The next time you hear yourself questioning or placing guilt trips on your head. I want you to stop dead in your tracks and say! I can get rid of one thing. You can do this!

Throw those refrigerator experiments out! You are allowing your stinkin’ thinkin’ to STINK up your refrigerator. We clean out our refrigerators every week so we don’t have fuzzies growing in there.

Establish simple routines for eliminating your clutter. We like to make it fun with games: 27 Fling Boogie, 5 Minute Room Rescues, and our Declutter Kit.

What are you waiting for? Procrastination hurts you!

We are going through our CHAOS to Clean Book this Month! Get yours now!

Purple Rag sale for only $8.95 while we have them!

It has your favorite tools! Got Old Cleaning Tools? Time to Upgrade with The Best! FlyLady’s Back to Basics Pack! Declutter the old to make room for the new!

Kitchen Tools Flash Sale! Half Price

Posted in Ask FlyLady Tagged declutter kit, paper. clutter, routines, shredder

The Gift of Love

by FlyLady

Dear Friends,

Why do we torture ourselves with our clutter?

You know exactly what I am talking about.

We have piles everywhere. Stuff we are going to need one day and we might not be able to afford it then. So we had better hold on to it. Do you hear this “Oh Poor Me” attitude.

This stuff is going to kill you. Are you listening to me? All the piles of clutter are filling your life with guilt and this guilt is hurting your body and spirit. The stress that is in our lives from our clutter, our chaotic homes, and our hectic lives is slowing and painfully killing us. Are you prepared to die this tortured death? Do you want to sit on the side lines while your husband and children enjoy life without you, while you sit home and suffer with this clutter draining your life energy.

This clutter pushes your family away. Your home should be a safe haven for you and your family, but when it is cluttered all of you find ways to be away from home. You dread walking in the door to face this wall of stuff and undone jobs. Let’s face it, It is guilt. So you enroll your children in extra activities, any thing to get away from this guilt that surrounds you at home. You all know what I am talking about. With our lives filled with this clutter, we are unable to have anyone over.

You all know the C.H.A.O.S. Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome. This pushes the people we love away. It also keeps us from taking care of things we need to have fixed. Leaky faucets, heating problems and stopped up drains. We are ashamed to have anyone in the house to fix them because of our clutter. I had one member that would not call an ambulance because she was too afraid that if they saw her mess, that they would report it to Dept of Social Service and they would take her children.

What are we doing to our children? They are growing up in a home that they are unable to have their friends over to play and do school work. They don’t want anyone to see how they live. They are embarrassed by their home. Do you know what happens, they end up playing at someone else’s home and you won’t we fully aware of their activities or even worse you keep them secluded in their own home. You are keeping secrets and these cluttered secrets are going to be the death of you and your family.

Now let’s look at our marriages. We have insulated our lives from the love that we need to survive. The clutter puts stress on our marriage. I don’t care how strong your love is, clutter whether it is your husband or yours is stealing the affection you have for one another. Fights, harsh words and even abandonment have slipped into this once loving relationship. Do you want this? Are you ready for Peace?

This is a decision that we have to make. If we want to live in a home that is not conducive to love: I mean love of self, love of husband, love of children and love of God: Or do you want to clear your clutter so that the love that is in your life can bloom and grow. Right now you are living a life of fear.

Fear is the opposite of love as far as I am concerned. God is love, Fear is of the Devil. Fear of being without, Fear of not being understood, Fear of not being loved. Fear is lack of faith in God. The Devil puts this fear, guilt and worry into our lives. He puts these obstacles in our path, so that we will not find the peace we deserve. He wants us to suffer. Do you want him to win? Put your faith in God and get off your franny and start to get rid of this clutter.

I have given you the tools: All you have to do is listen and start with small jobs. I don’t expect you to get it all done at once, but you have to start somewhere. Many members need to see results immediately, this is our nature. If we don’t, we give up and go back to our messy way of life.

I am here to tell you that your home did not get cluttered over night and it is not going to get clean in one day. We are working on changing life long habits, this is going to take some hard work and consistent routines. It will not be a cake walk, but as you start to see progress, you will be wanting to go gang busters.

This is something that we have done to ourselves many times. We work till we are burnt out. We don’t want do clean or declutter anymore because we are so tired. This kind of turn around in your life is like going on a crash diet. You get the house clean and before you know it, the place is trashed again. We are putting our homes on a diet; a diet of behavior modification. I am teaching you a new way of cleaning and it starts with establishing routines one habit at a time and decluttering your home 15 minutes a day. Anyone can do this, Mothers with children, people that work out of the home, retired, single; you name it; you can do this. It is so simple, you just have to start.

Are you tired of living this way? We can’t come to your house and tell you what to get rid of, as much as we would love to be able to physically assist you. All we can to is hopefully touch something deep within you that will get you away from the computer and the TV, and begin your new way of looking at your life. NO MORE GUILT!

You have found the answer. It is within each and every one of you. Your true spirit is being suffocated by your clutter. If you will release this clutter, you will find the peace and health that you have been yearning for all of your life. It is not a matter of wanting peace. We have been WANTING all of our life. It is a matter of actively working toward our goal of a clean and peaceful home. You can do this by using the tools: Your routines, basic weekly plan, zone cleaning and the 27 fling boogie,

Are you willing to work? Ask yourself if you ready to get your franny out of that chair and change your life. We don’t expect you to do all of this right off the bat. You are only expected to get dressed to shoes everyday, keep your sink clean and shiny and declutter for 15 minutes each day. This is it. Anyone can do this!

I want for you what I have, PEACE. I received this PEACE from my routines. It takes time and effort on your part. This is not a magic pill I am giving you. It is a recipe for Peace and you are the Chef. So let’s get ready to for the biggest feast of all; a celebration of your love of God, Self, Husband, and children. Enjoy the preparation. It is not a chore; it is a gift of love!

FlyLady

What are you waiting for? Procrastination hurts you!

We are going through our CHAOS to Clean Book this Month! Get yours now!

Purple Rag sale for only $8.95 while we have them!

It has your favorite tools! Got Old Cleaning Tools? Time to Upgrade with The Best! FlyLady’s Back to Basics Pack! Declutter the old to make room for the new!

Kitchen Tools Flash Sale! Half Price

Posted in Morning Musing Tagged flylady, get organized, love

Just Let It Go

by TestiFLY

Dear Flylady,

I have long had terrible, almost cropping, anxiety over little things. For instance, before going shopping downtown, meeting friends, etc. I just couldn’t figure out where this anxiety was coming from. I finally know…

As I was getting ready to go downtown on what should have been a fun day, with your voice in the back of my head, I realized that I’d planned the whole day and timed it out. Not only did I have to wear the perfect thing and go to all the places I’d planned, but I had to do them within set time frames. AND I couldn’t fail! This sounds insane now that I see it, but I tell you that before I “saw it”, it was perfectly normal for me.

How unkind I’ve been to myself! How harshly driven! Right then and there I said, “Good enough is good enough”. I decided to do it imperfectly, and let my intuition guide me. And it felt pretty good. It gives me hope that I may have found a way to beat the anxiety monster.

Who’d have thought that monster was actually perfectionism?

Thank you for your words of wisdom.

More relaxed in Seattle.

What are you waiting for? Procrastination hurts you!

We are going through our CHAOS to Clean Book this Month! Get yours now!

Purple Rag sale for only $8.95 while we have them!

It has your favorite tools! Got Old Cleaning Tools? Time to Upgrade with The Best! FlyLady’s Back to Basics Pack! Declutter the old to make room for the new!

Kitchen Tools Flash Sale! Half Price

Posted in testimonials Tagged behavior modification, flylady, get organized, routines, TestiFLY

April Habit #30 I Did Consistently

by Testimonials

Dear FlyLady,

I have really enjoyed the April habit of the month of making your bed.

Making the bed was not really a challenge for me because it was the one thing on the system I did consistently.

I decided to take the April challenge a step further and marked on the calendar each time I made the bed and kept it cleared of stuff. After all, the bed is a flat surface and an ideal hot spot.

So, this month’s habit brought me closer to having that sanctuary because I walked in to a lovely made up bed which was free from clutter.

Thanks for all you do to make my house a home.
FlyBaby G Florida

FlyLady Rebecca here: Do you have a Bed Making Testimonial? Let us know, and send an email with I LOVE MY MADE BED in the subject line.

What are you waiting for? Procrastination hurts you!

We are going through our CHAOS to Clean Book this Month! Get yours now!

Purple Rag sale for only $8.95 while we have them!

It has your favorite tools! Got Old Cleaning Tools? Time to Upgrade with The Best! FlyLady’s Back to Basics Pack! Declutter the old to make room for the new!

Kitchen Tools Flash Sale! Half Price

Posted in Habit of the Month Tagged behavior modification, flylady, get organized, Habit of the Month